Lessons in Humility
My nose bled
I learned a bit about humility today.
Driving down the highway to work today, I scratched my nostril because I felt a little tickle. Pulling my finger away from my face, I saw some blood. Last night I had some bloody mucus, so I figured that this was just some loosened residue. I panicked as I felt a sudden rush of blood rushing to exit my nostril. My reflexes allowed me to quickly reach for the glove compartment, where there were neither napkins nor tissues.
A drop of blood fell onto my jacket, and I panicked even more. Another reason for alarm was the fact that I noticed that my car had swerved over into the other lane of the highway. Moving back into the correct lane was easy. The nosebleed, however, continued to be problematic. My coat was bloody, and something needed to be done.
Suddenly, I noticed something in the glove compartment, sitting right out in front, that my wife had left there for emergencies. I don't think this was quite the emergency she had in mind when she left it there, but I was absolutely certain that it could, without a doubt, soak up all of the blood from my nosebleed.
That's right, you guessed it . . . and if you didn't guess it yet, then you're probably not old enough to know what I'm talking about.
Keep in mind that this is not the intended use, so it is quite difficult to figure out how to hold this properly. Do you hold it vertically and cover an eye, or do you hold it sideways like a large, awkward moustache?
So now, picture me, sitting at a red light, holding this pad up to my face, trying not to be seen by the trucker stopped next to me. The last thing I need is for him to radio ahead to any other truckers I might pass to keep an eye out for the guy with the feminine pad up to his face.
This entry was posted
on Monday, February 14th, 2005 at 19:26 by Novac and is filed under All, Health.
You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.
Related posts:
February 15th, 2005 at 19:51
sweet!
using items in ways the manufacturer never intended increases said items cool factor… even if it is feminine stuff. in "'tis" (frank mccourt's memoir sequel to angela's ashes), it was mentioned that feminine pads work well as shoulder pads (to keep backpack straps from messing you up).
now if they were just bulletproof…
February 16th, 2005 at 10:22
That was informative and disturbing all in the same post.
February 16th, 2005 at 12:35
Was it more akward than your past mustache?
February 16th, 2005 at 15:58
No. Additionally, I will avoid using my retort that involves Dillsburg, PA.