The Smarmy Carny

The Walt Disney

Good news, bad news about Disney this weekend. Poor Walt continues to turn in his grave (or cryogenic chamber, if you buy into that false urban legend).

Good news: Michael Eisner is finally leaving Disney!

Bad news: They are replacing him with Eisner clone Robert Iger.

If you're in business or planning on getting into business, here's what to remember . . . If there's a 45% shareholder vote against the CEO, what do you do? Allow him to resign and replace him with the president that is not much better than the original CEO. Problem solved(?) Don't forget to let the current CEO step down a year early, but allow him to take his full pay for that last year anyway. Also don't forget to give him at least $6 million in post-termination bonuses for the following three years. Oh, and let him have the same company perks he has now, even though he won't be CEO any more. Good thinking.

Iger is nothing more than Eisner-lite. The clear indicator is that one article said that "in his time at Disney, Iger has avoided any high-profile spats with his boss." If Eisner is your boss and you simply go along with the flow, you're pretty much worthless. Well, either "worthless" or "new CEO of Disney," which might just be the same thing.

Of course, Roy Disney and Stanley Gold are disgruntled. First off, they let Eisner sit in on the candidate interviews.

One fun thing I noticed is that Leslie Moonves was one of the candidates. Moonves is at CBS now, and that would have put him at ABC's family. Let's hope that Moonves sticks at CBS and does his best to promote The Amazing Race.

One other downside of Iger: He's going to try and get Pixar back. Pixar, RUN!!! Let's hope Steve Jobs has the sense to realize that Iger does not represent a shift at Disney, but the same ol' same ol'.

Update: 1754blog turned me on to the site SaveDisney.com, devoted to those concerned about the welfare of The Walt Disney Company and its future direction.

Less than meets the eye

In case you hadn't heard, Optimus Prime died on February 25 due to prostate cancer.

I haven't seen "Robot Chicken" yet, but apprently he died on the show of prostate cancer. The National Prostate Cancer Coalition picked up on this an issued a press release.

Here's a portion of the press release:

Optimus Prime Dies of Prostate Cancer
Popular Transformer's Death Calls for Annual Screening

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Pop culture fans are mourning the death of Optimus Prime today as the famous Transformer passed away last night from prostate cancer on the new Cartoon Network Show, "Robot Chicken."

"When it comes to prostate cancer, there's more than meets the eye," National Prostate Cancer Coalition CEO Richard N. Atkins, M.D. said. "Often times when one has symptoms for prostate cancer it's already in its late stages, that's why early detection is so important."

The scene from Robot Chicken, a new show created by Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, showed Optimus Prime with incontinence (or urination) problems followed by a trip to the doctor and then death.

"Being a Tractor Truck, Optimus should have known the importance of check-ups, oil, anti-freeze, spark plugs, the works," said Atkins.

Read the full press release. From what I could tell, Seth Green et al at "Robot Chicken" did not organize this with the National Prostate Cancer Coalition, but if they did, it would have been one of the neatest, coolest awareness campaigns I've heard of.

Dan Rather Lie Than Tell Truth

Well, it was Dan Rather's last day today. It's officially over.

It's really quite a shame that Rather is leaving now, just when CBS News was evolving from "sad" and into "hilarious."

Unfortunately, CBS isn't going to put someone "fair and balanced" into Rather's seat now. What's worse is that no one asked CBS to do that . . . at least not that I heard.

There's a lot of fluff out there showing retrospectives of Rather over the past 130 years, but if you're interested in the truth, check out the "Dan Rather's Liberal Bias" article from MediaResearch.org. It's definitely worth the read.

Another site worth reading up on is Rathergate.com, which details all of the information surrounding the "CBS/60 Minutes/Dan Rather falsified Bush document extravaganza." In fact, they had a Dan Rather retirement party tonight. Good times.

It's been nice knowing you, Dan. Now go run for a Senate seat in Massachusetts!

Babycal Throw

I just happened upon a game called "Babycal Throw," which has nothing to do with throwing babies around, Michael Jackson style.

It's pretty simple, yet addictive at the same time. Give it a try and see if you feel the same way.

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick!

(Place your mouse to the right of the "A:" to see the answer.)

Napoleon Dynamite

Who's the better dancer: Napoleon Dynamite, or Fender (from the movie Robots)? You be the judge!

Be sure to check out the "Napoleon vs. Fender Danceoff: Who's got the skills?" site. Watch a couple clips, and be sure to vote!

The Internet Movie Database has some fun facts regarding Napoleon Dyamite, including:

• Every dish shown during the opening credits is eaten by a character later in the movie. The dishes presented in the opening credits were the work of the three people who present them.
• Jon Heder was paid $1,000 to play Napoleon Dynamite. The movie grossed over $40,000,000 in the United States.
• Jon Heder helped to make the boondoggle keychains between scenes.
• Jon Heder credits Tina Majorino (Deb) with helping to choreograph the dance scene. He also states that some of the dance moves were "borrowed" from Michael Jackson, Backstreet Boys, John Travolta, Soul Train, as well as some of his own moves.
• Jon Heder did all of the drawings seen in the film.

My vote goes out to Napoleon Dynamite. He's got skills.

Can you bring me my chapstick?

Get U.S. Out!

Members of the dignified United Nations jeered and whistled catcalls at U.S. delegate Ellen Sauerbrey while she outlined U.S. policy regarding abortion, AIDS prevention, and other items.

According to a Reuters news story, the loudest jeers came when she mentioned that the U.S. policy on AIDS prevention for adolescents includes abstinence, faithfulness, and correct/consistent condom use.

Additionally, Sauerbrey requested that the document be amended to say that abortion is a matter of national sovereignty and not a human right.

Support was limited to the Vatican, Costa Rica, Nicaragua and Panama. . . . Delegates from the European Union, Asia and Africa forcefully opposed the U.S. position.

Interestingly, you might want to read the American Sovereignty Restoration Act of 2003 (or read the PDF version), which was introduced two years ago tomorrow.

And to think, ten years ago I naively hung a U.N. flag in my room.

"The text of Beijing is unequivocally clear. We should not spend hours splitting hairs over phrases that mean the same thing," said New Zealand's U.N. Ambassador Don Mackay, speaking for his country, Canada and Australia.

My thought exactly. If you all agree about the "same thing", then why not just quickly pass the amendment?