The Smarmy Carny

Lightning Reaction

I was browsing around Amishrobot and noticed an article regarding the game Lightning Reaction.

Here's a synopsis of the game from Stupid.com:

Here's how Lightning Reaction works — Anywhere from two to four people can play at once. You remove a handle from the base and get ready. When you press the button in the center, a red light pulses and suspenseful music plays. As soon as the red light turns green, you press the red trigger button as quickly as possible. If you're the slowest player, you will get rewarded with a painful electric shock. If you were faster than your opponents, you can simply laugh as the loser screams in pain.

Oh, and since it's Video Vednesday, I am obligated to link to a video, right? Well, happily, Amishrobot includes video of a round of Lightning Reaction!

So, all in all, it has everything a great party game should have, which is electric shocks as punishment for losing.

I was watching a game show in the cafeteria at work, and someone noted that there was not hurricane-related news on the television. I might as well offer a few thoughts on the events surrounding the hurricane.

• Evacuation — They should do a whole lot more to help get the sick and elderly out of the hurricane regions when an evacuation is in effect. Perhaps an evacuation hotline might make sense, but it might also be too impractical. In the area where I grew up, there were road signs near major strips for evacuation routes in case of problems with the nearby nuclear plant.
• Rooftop rescues — Assuming a better, improved evacuation procedure, they should fine every single person who has to be rescued by helicopter. I see many seemingly healthy people on the news coverage being lifted out via helicopter. Likely, these people were simply of the "We're not going to leave home. Forget the evacuation, because we're sticking it out!" mindset. This stupidity wastes the time of the rescue choppers that could be doing something worthwhile, like aiding ground rescue teams or pulling out any floating corpses that may be contaminating the water.
• Looting — What's the deal with looting? I can somewhat understand the food situation, since the grocery stores aren't open and there aren't many/any other methods for obtaining food. This leads me to a suggestion: If you're dumb enough not to evacuate, then stock up on food! Tulane University's hospital is trying to evacuate because they are experiencing problems with looting. Someone stole the hospital's generator off of one of their command stations. If that weren't enough, one of their ambulances was overturned as well. Smart.

That having been said, I have decided to make a decision and take a stand against hurricanes.

Shopgirl tells the story the lives of three people on diverse paths in search of the same thing. Mirabelle is a small town girl and struggling artist overseeing the glove counter at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. She is swept off her feet by a rich, handsome fifty-something. At the same time, she is also being pursued by a struggling musician who offers kindness, but lacks passion, culture, and success. When fate steps in, Mirabelle is forced to choose between accepting financial security in exchange for the sacrifice of her heart or to take a shot on a late bloomer recently showing some unexpected potential.

The movie stars Steve Martin, Claire Danes, and Jason Schwartzman. Jimmy Fallon was originally slated to play Schwartzman's role, but he pulled out before filming began. No matter, as I think Schwartzman can play this sort of role better than Fallon, anyway.

Steve Martin apparently pulled a "Woody Allen" by writing a screenplay where a young girl falls for an older guy . . . and then starring as the older guy.

Watch the trailer at apple.com or the trailer at the official Touchstone site.

Windmills

As I was driving around through farmland and hilly landscape today, I noticed a strip of about a mile with several yellow "No Wind Turbines" signs posted in some lawns. The signs also had a web address for "Save Upstate New York," a self-described "concerned citizens' group."

Personally, I enjoy windmills of all sorts. Granted, the power-generating windmills are more practical than aesthetic, but it still seems visually pleasing to me.

The only people who I could imagine disliking wind power are corporations providing alternate sources of power and Don Quixote.

Oh, and lest we forget the typical NIMBYs ("Not In My BackYard"-ers) that crop up over any such issues. The reason that this issue has become so overblown is because one of the NIMBYs down in the Chautauqua Lake area happens to be ever-unsuccessful gubernatorial candidate Thomas Golisano. He has more than enough money to throw around, giving lousy signs to hapless folks so that he doesn't have to have windmills in his area.

For additional information, read the (northeastern NY paper) Press Republican's article "Wind-farm opponents step up efforts." Irreverent Buffalonian magazine The Beast also has an insightful article titled "A Mighty Wind: Wind Power Threatens Corporate Bottom Line."

If you have read my blog for any period of time, you'll know that I am categorized on the right half of the political spectrum on most issues. The articles I have read finger the Republicans for being corporate jerks and not wanting the windmills to drain any revenue from the oil companies. Oddly enough, however, most of the arguments against wind turbines are environmental and ecological in nature: Soil erosion, bird and bat collisions, noise pollution, ice throw, flashing red lights (plane warning lights), and the deadly "shadow flicker."

They argue that birds and bats have collisions with structures, turbine blades and wires causing death or injury. This is hyperbolic, but even if it weren't we really need to make sure we keep all the bats alive. They are endangered, and we need all the bats we can get!

They also use the Liberal tactic of class envy by noting that "wind power is made financially viable and–in the short term–highly profitable for wind developers through multiple tax incentives." Yeah, let's protest wind power because wind developers might make some money! No one should make money!

Another crazy item is that windmills will have a negative impact on tourism. Ever hear anyone say "My family had planned on vacationing in ______, but then we realized that they had windmills there now, and it's just not the same." Anyone?

For more wind power information, feel free to check out windpower.org

This week's simpleton is the Thomas Shaheen.

Stories about postal workers going . . . well, postal, have been fairly scarce the past few years. Instead of shooting up the place nowadays, they seem to be up to less fatal tricks.

Shaheen's co-workers became suspicious of Shaheen and placed a camera in their lunchroom. Sure enough, the camera caught him pouring urine into a coffee pot. Good times.

An AP article notes that "Shaheen was unhappy at work but the prosecutor declined to get into any further details." Well, I can get into one further detail: He's loony!

I just feel bad for the guy who drank the coffee in order to become suspicious in the first place. Or perhaps they got suspicious when it was his turn to bring in the birthday cake, and he brought a urine cake.

Google

Google has released the beta version of their instant messaging software, Google Talk.

They say talk is cheap. Google thinks it should be free. Google Talk enables you to call or send instant messages to your friends for free–anytime, anywhere in the world. Google Talk offers you:

• Choice: Get in touch over email, IM or a call
• Quality: Talk through your computer but hear your friends as if they were in the same room
• Convenience: Your Gmail contacts are pre-loaded into Google Talk so inviting or talking to your friends is just a click away

Google Talk is in beta and requires a Gmail username and password.

It's two-for-one day today on this Thilly Thursday! Here's the second joke:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the first monkey.

Why did the tree fall down?
Because he thought it was a game.

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle?
Because he was crushed by two monkeys and a falling tree.