Thilly Thursday: Home Remedies

I remembered this list the other day while I was drinking some ice water.

Home Remedies:

  1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be removed almost instantly.
  2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
  3. Avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink instead.
  4. High blood pressure? Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
  5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
  6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You will then be afraid to cough.
  7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer and you will soon forget about the toothache.
  8. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.
    • If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
    • If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

I found this floating around the internet and e-mail, so I don't know who is responsible for this list, but it's quite entertaining.

Related posts:

  1. The Simpsons' Home State Announced
  2. Bring IT Home
  3. Make-A-Wish: Hawaii in a Hammock
  4. The Limbaugh Laws of Immigration
  5. Guest Post: Immigration Woe

Go ahead. Comment. It's easier than a barrel full of monkeys.