Thilly Thursday: How to Be Annoying Online
I StumbledUpon this list yesterday at ChipRowe.com and simply had to post it. Based on my internet experience over the past ten years. I guarantee you that number seven works like a charm. I've seen it hundreds of times.
How to Be Annoying Online:
- Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO or RTFM to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").
- WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!
- When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.
- Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."
- Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.
- cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.
- Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.
This entry was posted
on Thursday, September 15th, 2005 at 00:00 by Novac and is filed under All, Computer Geeks, Computers, Culture, Entertaining, Fun, Geeks, Humor, Internet, Jokes, People, Politicians, Pop Culture, Technology, Thilly Thursday, Weeklies.
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