The Smarmy Carny

According to Engadget.com, Marc Antony’s laptop is being held ransom for the tune of $1 million.

Obviously, these fiends did not see the Black Friday deals on $300 laptops at Best Buy and Circuit City.

Q: Why was the firewood punished?
A: Because it was knotty, of course.

I couldn't resist sharing the opening line from some spam/junk mail I received today:

[Brand name removed] is an omnipotent formula. It increases sperm production by 500%.

Apparently this product not only unlimited power and influence over all, but it also quintuples your sperm production. Bonus!

Yeah, yeah, I know that it's only claiming to be a formula that is omnipotent, but the wording is a bit too vague. That's what I get for actually reading some of my spam mail.

If you're looking for a quick and easy way to browse anonymously, check out the Anonymous Browsing Quick-Start Page. (Dead link . . . sorry!)

There are many methods for browsing anonymously, but the old-school method involves pulling up a list of proxy servers (such as the ever-updating list at Proxy 4 Free) and changing your browser settings to utilize that proxy. The Anonymous Browsing Quick Start Page allows you to avoid configuration changes.

Don't be surprised if you get error messages on some of your attemps. This is common because you're using a service that is relying on other servers to pass your information through, so patience is key. You'll also notice that anonymity comes at the cost of speed.

Why would you want to browse anonymously? Great question.

• Your IP address (basically your identity number on the web) is visible to any website that you visit.
• If someone knows your IP address, your online activities and surfing habits could be monitored. For instance, a search engine could save your search words in a database under your IP. They could then sell the information to other companies regarding your search terms and interests. You probably wouldn't want your search for "genital herpes cure" linked to your IP and saved in a database.
• Malicious crackers can attack your IP directly if they know it.
• You're one of those crazy, paranoid privacy freaks.
• You might want to try the page just for the novelty of it.

Granted, these "threats" aren't as bad as they sound. In fact, I'd say that cookies are generally more intrusive if you're paranoid about privacy. As for direct attacks on your IP, this is a more serious concern, but generally a nice router coupled with a decent firewall and anti-virus software should do the trick. (Anyone with a dedicated internet connection should have or purchase these items anyway.)

If you don't like this webpage, another alternative is to use one of various Firefox extensions that allow you to easily switch between various proxies. You are using Firefox, aren't you???

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on him!

And for the follow-up joke . . .

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: The tame way — unique up on him!

Having trouble remembering the new website's address at smarmycarny.com?

Just try this address, then:

http://south.key.fish.find.mysteryrobot.com

Hope that helps! But then, you'll just forget who told you, anyway.

For more information on how this works, check out Nambers.

The popular version of the Numa Numa Dance was published by Gary Brolsma on Newgrounds.com on December 6, 2004 . . . one year ago today.

Take the time to read my posts about Numa Numa Dance and Numa Numa Dance Meets American Idol. You'll find links to the videos there, too.

Happy Birthday, Numa Numa Dance!