The Smarmy Carny

Tonight, I discovered a neat project that goes on each year in the Buffalo area called Faces of Buffalo.

First, you print out a 2006 Self Portrait Response Form. Then, create a self-portrait of your face using crayons, markers, paint — any media other than photographs. The 1,000 or so self-portraits are then combined into a mosaic of a buffalo. Be sure to check out their website to see and order past year's mosaics. Sales benefit charity.

Creativity is encouraged, but skill is not. The nature of this project is not to obtain the highest quality self-portraits, but instead to create a high level of participation in this community project. In fact, the website states that "Brian Nesline was inspired to create a bridge between artists, non-artists and art itself."

I think I'll try and participate this year. Perhaps I could roll this into my practice to create some abstract art this year.

This week's site is What Should I Read Next?

Though the interface is clunky and the results are questionable, the idea is fun. You add a list of your favorite books and the site suggests some additional reading material for you. If nothing else, brainstorming a list of your favorite books is worth the trouble.

One awful thing about the site as it is currently set up is that when you search, you get just one result. Thus, if you search for a book with the word Love in the title by an author whose name you have forgotten, typing "Love" in the title field returns only one entry: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. This is almost certainly not the selection you were searching for. Even more distressingly, if you leave the title field blank and enter "Kurt Vonnegut" in the author field, you still get only one result: Slaughterhouse 5. It would be much more useful to display a list of Vonnegut classics to select all at once.

One nice feature is the ability to pick and choose which of your favorite books you use to generate your list each time. You can pick only the sci-fi comedy books to see what type of results you get, or you can choose to select all of your favorites for a grab bag of suggestions. I find that the results seem to be much more useful when selecting a large number of favorites. Selecting one book rarely brings up additional books by the same author, for some strange reason. It seems perfectly natural to me that if I select a Douglas Adams book that I might want to read more of his work.

Perhaps I'll write to the site with some of these somewhat-constructive criticisms. What Should I Read Next? has the potential to be something big — no, something huge. Despite my issues here, I visit there regularly, and I suggest you do the same . . . particularly if you're looking to build a reading list for yourself.

As for my issues with the site, I encourage you to read the post comments. Andrew Chapman, who is affiliated with What Should I Read Next, has posted a response to some of my complaints. It's certainly worth reading.

Fluffy the Destroyer

Here's a quick post for Foto Friday. This is Fluffy. He is the Destroyer of Worlds. This has long since been one of my favorite pictures that travels the web.

Not only does he appeal to me and the "Animals will one day rule the universe, as soon as they develop opposable thumbs" groups out there, but it also appeals to the animal lovers, as they deem this ruthless dictator to be "cute."

That's exactly what Fluffy wants you to believe . . . until he orders your head chopped off in the presence of your loved ones.

Of course, while we're on this subject (again), allow me to direct you to read the lyrics of Ookla the Mok's "Animal Uprising."

Oh, and while we're on this other topic, allow me to direct you to read the lyrics of Dan Bern's "Opposable Thumb."

Here's another multiple-part joke for this week's Thilly Thursday:

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

1. Open the door.
2. Put the elephant in.
3. Close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

1. Open the door.
2. Take the elephant out.
3. Put the giraffe in.
4. Close the door.

If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win?

The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.

When your two young sons stay up too late to watch a scary movie, what is a parent to do?

Serve them the cold dish of revenge, of course!

These parents found their two sons huddled in the same bed with all the lights on after watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so the mom got out the video camera and the dad got out the chainsaw and a mask.

I don't know if you've ever been woken up via chainsaw before, but it's likely an experience you won't forget.

(Be sure to watch even more great videos in the Video category!)

If you'll take the time to notice, the one boy jumps to the end of the bed, reaches out to the wall, pulls the blinds down, and falls to the floor behind the bed in the process. The boy utters an expression that I'm sure I'll hear plenty from my two boys: "What's wrong with you?!?"

Scotty Pelk, the film geek

Film Geek seems like a fun little independent film for recreational and serious film geeks alike. Watch the trailer on the Film Geek page or on Apple.com and decide for yourself.

The Oregonian suggests that Film Geek "just might be this year's 'Napoleon Dynamite,'" so don't miss out.

Film Geek is a hilarious new comedy about Scotty Pelk, a socially inept video store clerk with an encyclopedic knowledge of film. He runs a website, scottysfilmpage.com, which receives zero traffic. He annoys his customers. He annoys his co-workers. And when he is inevitably fired from his video store job, Scotty finds refuge in Niko, a downtown hipster who teaches him a thing or two about love and life. But Niko’s smarmy ex-boyfriend Brandon won’t go away quietly. As Scotty’s first love turns to obsession, his life begins to change in profound ways.

The trailer includes a hilarious scene with Scotty and a customer looking for a movie that might have "Heaven" in the title. Scotty immediately starts rattling off at least ten such movies of various genres. In fact, once he gets started, he ignores the customer and continues with his list, almost as if he has been challenged. Good times.

The film geek, Scotty Pelk, is played by Melik Malkasian, who played a tribal shaman in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. The female lead, Niko, is played by Tyler Gannon, who also appeared in Thumbsucker, another movie previously featured on Trailer Tuesday.

Film Geek was acquired by distributor First Run Features. As it is a small independent film, It ran in a couple theatres . . . one in Portland and one in New York City. Hopefully, we'll see it soon in theatres or on DVD.

This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions.

Crazy Dave Hoover

Crazy Dave Hoover, a.k.a. Mr. Dubious of American Idol 5 fame stopped by The Smarmy Carny to answer a few questions. Crazy Dave is the contestant who jumped around and screamed like a spaz and actually made it through to Hollywood. In Hollywood, he was well received by his peers and received plenty of applause after his performance, but the judges decided not to keep him on.

Novac from The Smarmy Carny: For the record: What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favourite colour?
Crazy Dave Hoover: Dave Hoover. I couldn't possibly pick a favorite color. My quests are among many.
Novac: Are you an American Idol fan?
Dave: Well, I watched it all last year. I'm a big fan of reality TV for some reason. I hadn't had a TV for a few years before that. I think TV is so distracting when you are trying to be productive. The first few seasons, I caught a few minutes here and there at friend's houses. I thought it was the cheesiest thing I had ever seen.
Novac: How did you decide that you were going to audition for American Idol?
Dave: I had wanted to start doing something more publicly with my music. Usually I just play music alone. I had just gotten over a hip hop phase of my musical stylings and was getting more into singing again. I wanted to try something new.
Novac: You sang an original for your AI audition. What's the name of the song, how did you come to choose your song, and is there any way we can hear or buy an album version?
Dave: I wrote that while I was waiting to audition for A.I. while driving in my car. I record a lot of instrumental music, then listen to it over and over until the perfect lyrics pop out of the musical landscape. The song I sang is called "DO". It is on my website www.mrdubious.com and it can be found and bought on the CD available on my site. I also sang a Cold Play song that actually got me through the first round of auditioning.
Novac: Did you have one or two auditions before performing for Simon, Paula, and Randy?
Dave: two
Novac: Many AI contestants have a method for getting noticed. Your method was clearly unbridled energy and being a spaz. It seemed to work pretty well. Are you normally that energetic?
Dave: I'm a true Gemini. I'm either super calm or super energetic. Most of the time, out of respect for other people, I keep it toned down. I didn't start getting wild until the final audition. I was just excited to be there.
Novac: I'm sure the cameras and judges bring about plenty of adrenaline, which helped your performance there.
Dave: Yeah, knowing you will be seen my 30 million people is definately creates an awakened state of being.
Novac: Did you expect to be passed through to Hollywood, or were you simply going for the fun of it?
Dave: I had high hopes. For me, I have been making music long enough to be comfortable with my capabilities and not worried about what other people want to say. Plus, I think it's just a TV show and they are either looking for what you got or not.
Novac: Well, you fulfilled the dreams of thousands and thousands (if not more) American Idol contestants and made it through to Hollywood. Randy voted "Yes" for you on the basis that you would talk to the animals for him, and Paula said that she would vote for you "for [her] own reasons."
Dave: Woohoo!
Novac: Did you ever get to talk to the animals for Randy? What do you think Paula's reasons were?
Dave: Yep, I saw a pelican on the Santa monica Pier and i said, "Hey, Randy Jackson loves you". They cut out a lot of clips from my audition. There was a lot cut out of my audition. Paula actually got out of her seat and said that my song sounded like it could be sung all over the world. She said there was no one in this world like me. Was she just being serious or just getting caught up in the goofy energy that i brought along with me…we may never know.
Novac: Did the editors cut out anything else that you had hoped would air?
Dave: No, they did a great job in giving me airtime….for sure!
Novac: Indeed. You were one of the lucky "teasers" that got shown before practically every commercial break.
Dave: Yeah, who would of thunk it?
Novac: Before the Hollywood performance, you are shown standing on your head and meditating. Were you just having fun with the camera crews, or really getting ready for the Hollywood experience?
Dave: I was frequently stretching and doing yoga all over the place. The clip you are referring too was not filmed directly before the audition.
Novac: How did the AI audition process stack up with your expectations?
Dave: It was A LOT longer and drawn out than I could of ever imagined.
Novac: What's the coolest thing that has happened as a result of your 15 minutes of national fame? Has your national exposure opened any doors for you?
Dave: I love getting fan mail. That is a new and wonderful pleasure. It's nice to hear good things about yourself!
Novac: Since you love fan mail, what's the best way for fans to contact you? What's the best way to keep up on your music in the future? You have your MySpace profile and your website, mrdubious.com.
Dave: Both are great!
Novac: You released a video of yourself inside one of the Super Mario games. Where did the "Super Dave" idea come from?
Dave: I used to play super mario ALL the time when I was a kid. One day I just messed around with Final Cut software on my Mac and threw it together.
Novac: Are there any other such bizarre items in the works?
Dave: Nah, I don't like to spent too much time in front of the computer, I'm more the outdoors type. Although I am working on a feature length film.
Novac: You're planning a nationwide music/dance tour this summer and filming a movie during the tour as well.
Dave: It's all up in the air right now, dependent on how far i can stretch my savings this summer.
Novac: Are you making the movie, or is someone else following you around?
Dave: I'm gonna go where I go, do what I do, and pass the camera to whomever wants to try their hand at filmmaking. It's definately going to be experimental/experiential!
Novac: If people want to be in Crazy Dave's movie, can they get in it somehow?
Dave: Sure, just send me an email, and I'll see if it works into the master plan.
Novac: If you could be a condiment, which condiment would you be?
Dave: Hey, I thought I was the crazy one here. What kind of a question is that?
Novac: Oh, it's just one of The Smarmy Carny's two obligatory questions. Besides, no one said I was sane . . . it's just that you were called "crazy" on national television.
Dave: To put thinking about this question behind us, I'll say Olive Oil.
Novac: Ginger or Mary Ann?
Dave: What does that mean?
Novac: LOL, that means it's the end of the interview. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to chat, Crazy Dave. I thank you, the readers thank you, and Abe Vigoda thanks you.