The Smarmy Carny

The Charlie Action Figure

Mcfarlane Toys announced that they will be making Lost action figures, currently due out in November 2006. The company plans on releasing a few characters at a time in multiple series, including deceased characters. Each character will also come with a small prop (e.g. Kate comes with the toy plane).

As you can see here, a picture of the Charlie figurine has been released. The other characters slated for this first series are Jack, Kate, Locke, Hurley, and Shannon. And yes, that's a bikini-clad Shannon, not a bloody-hole-in-torso Shannon.

If you purchase the deluxe boxed sets, you will also get dioramas of appropriate Lost sets so the geekiest of you can recreate scenes from the show.

Each of the figures will say various phrases (e.g. Hurley yelling, "The numbers are BAD!!!")

You can currently pre-order the figures at AllStarFigures.com at a price based on early estimations. The eventual price might be higher or lower, but you can lock in on the AllStarFigures price right now.

As if that weren't enough, Ubisoft (Myst, Resident Evil, Far Cry, Heroes of Might and Magic, Splinter Cell, and a game based on CSI) is working on an interactive video game slated for a 2007 release. Don't get your hopes up . . . that's going to be late 2007, most likely. The game should support game console and PC platforms.

In April, I wrote about the fact that Casey Sheehan's headstone had not yet been installed, even two years after Casey's death.

Just in time for Memorial Day, Casey's headstone was installed on May 25, 2006. Happily, since Casey's father Patrick took over the task a couple months ago, plans for the headstone finally started in motion and the monument is in now place.

The tombstone reads:

Our Casey
Ever faithful, kind, and gentle, good son, beloved brother, brave soldier, dear friend, you loved your family and lived your life serving others to the end.

On the back of the headstone, there are six symbols, presumably notating six things that Casey enjoyed: The military, the theatre, Eagle Scouts, Superman, Van Halen, and the WWF (World Wrestling Federation).

A picture of the headstone can be seen on the site for Vacaville's The Reporter.

Snopes.com: Rumor has it.

Snopes is an urban legends reference page that I have been reading for almost ten years now.

You'll be surprised at what's true and what's not. Keep in mind that a story doesn't have to be false to be an urban legend. According to Snopes, here are the three conditions to be fulfilled for a story to be classified an "urban legend":

1. The story circulates widely.
2. The story is told and re-told with differing details.
3. The story is said to be true.

Some stories you've believed and retold others for decades turn out to be false. Stories you've rolled your eyes at turn out to be completely true. Here are some items that might surprise you:

• Does hair grow back darker/thicker after it has been shaved?
• Is celery a "negative calorie food"?
• Do the horses in Young Frankenstein neigh every time they hear Frau Blucher's name because "blucher" is the German word for "glue"?
• Will you get cramps if you go swimming less than 45 minutes/an hour after eating?
• Was a suicide captured in the background of The Wizard of Oz?
• Does eating turkey make you drowsy?
• Does the Swiffer WetJet pose a danger to dogs and other household pets?
• Did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC to remove "Chicken" from their name because their mutant birds could not be legally considered chickens, or was it to remove "Fried" from their name in order to seem healthier?
• Was the Titanic screening The Poseidon Adventure when it hit the iceberg?
• Is Jell-O made from bones and hides?
• Was an actor killed during the filming of the chariot race in Ben Hur?
• Do Twinkies never expire?
• Was television's Mr. Ed a horse?

Snopes is an overall great site to spend time on. Whether you're looking for some interesting reading to pass the time or settling a bet on whether Pop Rocks and soda pop will kill you, Snopes is the place to be.

I've decided to change the subtitle/tagline of this blog. Why? Because I finally came up with something that finally makes sense and generally sums up the blog.

Out with the old:
Winning the war against sanity . . . one mind at a time.

. . . and in with the new:
The sound of one hand clapping erasers.

If you have problems with the new tagline, let me know. I'll try to give anyone a prorated refund.

I recently bought a box of my all-time favorite cereal, ::amazon("B0004M01H6", "Fruity Pebbles")::. The box was labeled "Now Bronto-Bright," as if this were the best reason ever to purchase cereal.

Don't get me wrong — I love Fruity Pebbles. I believe it's the reason that God created rice . . . God knows there aren't many other good uses for it.

I'm not sure why a cereal that is already red (cherry), orange (orange), yellow (lemon), green (lime), and purple (grape) would ever need to add more colors like blue (berry blue), pink (Bedrock berry pink), and even more purple (incrediberry purple).

I'm further confused as to why the ever-increasing number of colors would also need to be even brighter. None of these colors or brightnesses have changed the taste of the cereal so far as I have detected. Do a taste test: Separate a handful of Fruity Pebbles into piles of each and see if you can determine the color/flavor of the pile by taste alone.

Cereal has become like the movies: The originals rule, but the sequels are unbearable. I'm not sure about the marketing teams that put together new variations on existing cereals, but they need to be taught a lesson. If you ask me, the Pebbles brand has gotten a bit out of hand. I think that the Fruity and Cocoa varieties were enough for the breakfast crowd. Nonetheless, we have three additional varieties: Fiesta Fruity Pebbles (essentially Fruity Pebbles with "confetti sprinkles"), Marshmallow Mania Pebbles, and "1/2 the Sugar Fruity Pebbles," the only sensible alteration of Pebbles.

Now we just have to wait for Bronto-Bright Cocoa Pebbles.

What are your thoughts on Fruity Pebbles' brightness? Where do you think Post will go from here to try and make their cereal more confusingly appealing? What's the worst "cereal sequel" you have seen?

Douglas Adams fans will be pleased to know that today, May 25, is Towel Day.

Be sure to grab your towel and carry it with you all day long in order to memorialize Douglas Adams. DNA (Douglas Adams) fans will appreciate this. For those who may not already know, Douglas Adams outlines the entry for "towel" in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value—you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you—daft as a brush, but very, very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.

Should you carry the towel with you all day long? The Towel Day page answers this: " Yes, you should really carry a towel with you all day. You might get teased or looked at weird, but then you can just hide behind your towel until the offensive people go away."

For more information about Towel Day, you'll want to check out the Towel Day page, which explains things better than I have here. You can also find out plenty more about ::wikipedia("Towel Day"):: and ::wikipedia("Towel", "towels in general")::.

Never leave home without your towel, and always be thankful for all the fish.

Last week, the Senate passed two largely symbolic amendments regarding the status of English as the national language:

• Inhofe Amdt. No. 4064; To amend title 4 United States Code, to declare English as the national language of the United States and to promote the patriotic integration of prospective US citizens.
• Salazar Amdt. No. 4073 As Modified; To declare that English is the common and unifying language of the United States, and to preserve and enhance the role of the English language.

You can see how each senator voted on amendments 4064 and 4073.

Tony Snow indicated that Bush was supportive of the amendment.

The president has never been supportive of English only or English as the official language, but certainly we support the fact that English is the national language of the United States of America.

The amedments are not worded to change laws, but merely solidifies English as the national language. Previously, the country had not officially declared an official language.