The Smarmy Carny

Google has been adding increasingly more special results to the top of their results. This results box that appears at the top of your search results is called OneBox. An amazing number of searches pull up some sort of information to attempt to immediately answer any specific information you might be searching for.

Go ahead: Search "5 + 4" and see what happens.

Here are some of the many searches that utilize Google OneBox. Search formats are in bold. I have included example searches in parentheses and quotations if you'd like to try a search yourself.

• [misspelled word] ("independant") — Google suggests the proper spelling for the word.
• [calculation] ("600 * 150" or "sqrt(-16)" or "pi" or "16 oz in cups" or "0.89 cad/liter in usd/gallon" or "10 pounds * 4000 feet in calories" or "2006 in roman numerals") — Calculates the result and/or conversion
• [phone number] ("320-693-6651") — Phone book result, address, and maps to that address if you have searched a listed number.
• [ticker symbol] ("mmm") — Various information on the stock, including the stoke quote, company name, links to various financial sites, current price, highs, lows, and a chart.
• [zip code/city name/area code] ("90210" or "beverly hills") — Links to view a map of the area via Google Maps, Yahoo! Maps, and MapQuest.
• [area code] ("212") — Link to an area code map for the selected area. Also informs you of the major city in that area code.
• [address1] to [address2] ("1600 pennsylvania avenue 20006 to 350 fifth avenue 10118") — Supplies driving directions via the same three mapping sites.
• [city1] [city2] ("boston sacramento") — Fields to enter departure and return dates, along with links to various airline sites.
• [airport code] airport ("jfk airport") — Link to current airport conditions and delays.
• [airline] [flight number] ("united 7") — Links to information on flight status
• [amount] [currency1] in [currency2] ("500 usd in gbp") — Currency converter
• [current movie title] — Shows runtime, MPAA rating, user ratings, and offers a search box to find showings near your zip.
• Including other keywords give you certain information about words, locations, etc. Try these out for size. The results for these are fairly obvious, so I won't explain them.
  • define [word]
  • winner [super bowl; stanley cup] — You don't get to pick which year is displayed, which is disappointing. How well this works to begin with is questionable.
• Here are even more keywords to use alongside locations. If you want to find out about a country, state, or city, these all should work well:
  • capital [location]
  • population [location]
  • president [location]
  • weather [location]
  • time [location]
  • state [bird/flower] [state] ("state bird new jersey") — Some states (NY) give you a state beverage if you ask.
• patent [number] ("patent 4825111")
• [tracking number] — Works with tracking numbers for the USPS, UPS, and FedEx
• [UPC number] ("718908094075")
• [obscure number] — You can also enter VINs, FAA airplane registration numbers, and FCC equipment IDs. FCC IDs need to be prefaced with "fcc".
• Where was [person] born? ("where was weird al born")
• Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
• What is the answer to life the universe and everything? — If you don't already know the answer to this question, then you won't find this funny.
• What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
• How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Additionally, Google SMS has additional features you can use on the site, or text message from your phone to get a response from anywhere. Here are some additional keywords that don't seem to work from the normal Google search, but already work on Google SMS:

• translate [english word/phrase] in [language] ("translate dog in spanish") -or- translate [foreign word/phrase] from [language] ("translate perro from spanish") — This will give you a basic translation service to or from the English language.
• [city name/address] to [city name/address] — Supplies driving directions between locations
• [sports team] — Gives recent score and upcoming game information. Try the team name ("lakers") or the city combined with the league ("nhl detroit"). There's no news or off-season information, just scores.

If you have additional Google OneBox responses that aren't listed here, please comment so that I can add them!

As any rational person should realize, The Da Vinci Code is fiction, and not much else. It's just ::amazon("1400079179", "a novel")::, just ::imdb("tt0382625", "a movie")::. Why, then, are many Christians up in arms over the story, if that's all it is? The answer is simple, as Massimo Introvigne points out:

People who ask this question usually have not read the page of The Da Vinci Code titled Fact, where the author, Dan Brown, asserts that "all descriptions of [..]documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate" and are based specifically on the fact that "in 1975 Paris’ Bibliothèque Nationale discovered parchments, known as Les Dossiers Secrets" which reveal the story of the Priory of Sion.

Some Christians are arguing that The Da Vinci Code is a positive because it is getting people to think more about early Christianity. In reality, I think that the only thing people will really think about early Christianity is, "Is that true?" This surface-level response to mainstream entertainment will not provoke further discovery of Christ and the actual events of early followers. In addition, many non-Christians will likely believe the fictional "facts" and incorporate them into their already wavering view of Christianity, religion, and God.

So, all things being equal, feel free to believe everything you read/see in The Da Vinci Code if you also readily believed all the "facts" given in movies such as National Treasure, too.

I will not attempt to list the problems in The Da Vinci Code. It is, after all, just a movie. For more information on The Da Vinci Code and its fallacies, check out these informative pages:

• Da Vinci Answers — Josh McDowell's podcast discussing The Da Vinci Code
• "The Da Vinci Code FAQ, or Will the Real Priory of Sion Please Stand Up?" — Massimo Introvigne
• "The DaVinci Scam" — Terry Paige, Houghton College professor
• "The Da Vinci Scam • Decoding Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code"
• The Da Vinci Code Discussed — The Life

One interesting fact regarding the filming of the movie: Westminster Abbey refused to allow filming on location, stating "theologically unsound" premises in the book. Filming was moved to Lincoln Cathedral, whose bell "Great Tom" was silent for the first time since World War II during filming on August 15 – 19, 2005.

Brad Beach raises some interesting questions regarding prayer over at Houghton College's Religion and Philosophy Blog in his post titled "God answers prayer!".

Christians (as well as other religions that include prayer to an omnipotent, omnibenevolent being) tend to deal with the results of prayer in a questionable method. When we pray and the requested end comes to fruition, then the response is obvious: God answered our prayer. What about when we pray and our requests never come about? The common response is that "God's answer was 'No.'"

And how about conflicting prayers? Let's start with a light, inconsequential subject to help make this a bit more accessible. Each year during the Super Bowl, thousands of people are praying for the AFC team to win, and thousands are praying for the NFC team to win. Even if I pray for the AFC team to win and they do, has God answered my prayer? If the AFC team loses, has God answered my prayer with a "No"?

The problem does, in fact, become more substantial once serious, "big" issues are at play. When we pray for a loved one with terminal cancer and they pull out of it cancer-free, we thank God and proclaim that our prayers were answered. What about when a young child has a terminal disease and, despite our prayers, suffers for months and months before dying? Certainly, the "God said 'No'" response isn't appealing at all.

This view of prayer seems to assume that whatever happens after we pray, that is God’s answer to our prayers. If a person is healed, God answered 'yes' to our petition. If the person is not healed, the divine response was 'no'! Is this really how it works? Can we honestly believe that whatever happens is, in fact, God’s answer to our supplications? Under such a construal, is it meaningful to claim that God answers our prayers? Isn’t this simply to interpret every outcome as the divine response to our desperate pleas? Such an interpretation seems to make meaningless the assertion that God answers prayer.

So what then do we do when dealing with "unanswered" prayers of any type? Beach offers some suggestions in his article, which I suggest you read. I suppose much of the answer to this question hinges on your personal resolution to the ::wikipedia("problem of evil")::. However you find solace in the problem of evil, the solution to unanswered prayer should not be too far behind.

Even after this problem has been resolved, I'm not so sure that we are the best judges of what should happen in the world. We humans are certainly not objective, and we're overwhelmingly far from being omniscient or even omnibenevolent. Here's one-third of a (Chinese?) curse: May you get everything you wish for. And here's another well-known English proverb that comes into play: Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

On the finale of My Name Is Earl this week, another Spanish-language joke was included for latinos and the rest of the Spanish-speaking viewership.

A drunken Joy receives her certification to give body piercings and blathers, "I'm legal, [to Catalina] unlike you." Catalina points her finger menacingly at Joy and says:

Con esto concluimos nuestra primera temporada de Earl. Estamos muy agradecido acompañamiento. Anticipamos verlos el proximo otoño.

After Catalina says this, Joy laughs heartily and passes out onto the floor. Again, the tirade appeared to be an insult (probably profane) thrown in Joy's face. And, once again, the comment was actually directed at the audience. Here's the translation:

With this, we conclude our first season of Earl. We are very grateful for your viewership. We hope to see you next fall.

The show has included a few Spanish language stunts. Read up on the other jokes at the My Name Is Earl category.

Coin collector Scott Travers has New Yorkers sifting through their change looking for hidden treasures.

A month ago, Travers intentionally used three valuable pennies for three separate purchases in Manhattan. One of the purchases was made at a pretzel stand in Times Square. Somewhere out there, these pennies may still be floating around: a 1908-S Indian Head cent, a 1914-D Lincoln cent, and a 1909-S VDB Lincoln cent. The last of these pennies may be worth about $1,000. That's quite the change for your 99¢ purchase.

Why would Travers spend the pennies like that? Simply put, he is an avid coin collector, author of ::amazon("0375721274", "The Coin Collector´s Survival Manual"):: and ::amazon("0609807463", "How to Make Money in Coins Right Now")::, and formerly the V.P. of the American Numismatic Association. This stunt will, no doubt, get many people interested in coin collecting that may never have found the hobby. And there you have the motive. It was Travers, in Times Square, with the penny.

Travers has tried similar stunts at least three times before. Though many have claimed to have found his coins in the past, Travers has never seen any of his coins turn up again.

Tonight's episode of Lost (titled "?") is the episode that Darren Aronofsky was to have directed, except that he had to pull out a couple months ago.

You can read more about the initial announcement and subsequent reneging.

This information was proffered by Damon Lindleof and Carlton Cuse in the Official Lost Podcast, a somewhat entertaining and always informative show that airs the Monday before each new episode. If you haven't already, definitely head to the site and start listening, or search it in iTunes and subscribe to it there. For the anti-iTunes folks, here's the RSS feed for the podcast.

Here's the synopsis for tonight's episode, titled "?":

Mr. Eko seeks Locke's help in finding a secret location he believes holds the key to the island's mysteries; Jack and the other survivors grapple with the horrific situation in the hatch.

Enjoy! (But try not to think about what the episode would be like if Aronofsky directed!)

I finally received an invitation to Google Analytics!

Google Analytics, much like Performancing Metrics, tells you about how your visitors found you and how they interact with your site.

Google Analytics is on a "sign up and wait" system in order to keep their servers under control. Finally, my number came up.

For many, this allows marketing masterminds to "focus their marketing resources on campaigns and initiatives that deliver ROI, and improve their site to convert more visitors." For me, it just lets me pour over statistics, which I love to do.

Besides, it's always nice to know that people sometimes actually visit the site and read it and click links.