The Smarmy Carny

For those who have cat allergies but still love the annoying little creatures, you can now buy one of "the world’s first scientifically-proven hypoallergenic cats" from Allerca.

Currently, a hypoallergenic cat will cost you a mere $3,950 . . . peanuts compared with the expensive cost of allergy medication. Of course, for that $4k, you get a 12-week old kitten, a microchip identifier implant, a year of vet health insurance, nail caps, and other goodies.

The Allerca site does give some suggestions if you're not willing to drop the $4k on a hypoallergenic cat: Buy a regular cat, replace your carpeting throughout the house with wooden floors, use HEPA air filters throughout the house, and switch any curtains to vinyl blinds.

What ever happened to the pet rock? They have always been hypoallergenic, and at a fraction of the price. Oh, and cleanup is a snap. Now we just have to wait for them to come up with hypoallergenic dust mites, moss, and lichen.

Fun fact: Hypoallergenic cats are 27% tastier than normal cats.

In the spirit of the 2006 FIFA World Cup, here are some jokes to pass the time. If you think these are bad, you should see the rest of them . . .

• Q: How did the football pitch end up as triangle?
  A: Somebody took a corner!
• The following sign recently appeared on the notice board of a factory in England:
  

  ALL APPICATIONS FOR LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR FAMILY BEREAVEMENTS, SICKNESS, JURY DUTY, ETC. MUST BE HANDED IN TO THE PERSONNEL MANAGER NO LATER THAN 6 P.M. ON THE DAY PRECEDING THE MATCH.

• David Beckham walks into a pub. The bartender asks, "A pint of your usual, David?" Beckham replies "No, just a half, then I'm off."
• A young boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them. The judge asked him, "Why don't you want to live with your father?" The boy answered, "Because he beats me." The judge asked, "Then why not live with your mother?" The little boy replied, "She beats me, too." The judge, stumped, asked the boy, "Who would you like to live with if you don't live with your parents?" The boy thought about it and confidently answered, "The U.S. soccer team — they don't beat anyone!"

I watched Switzerland lose to Ukraine in yesterday's match that went through to penalty kicks.

While I always enjoy a good upset, it's a shame that Switzerland did not give up a single goal in all four of their World Cup matches, yet they were still eliminated in the Round of 16.

After tiring of posting personal stuff on this blog, I have decided that I would rather start up a second personal blog to post all the personal drivel that the random viewer doesn't care about.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce Random Fodder.

This should effectively give me a place to toss all the posts with no worth to the general public, as well as a pseudo-test environment for my primary blog. The same potpourri of random general information will still appear here at The Smarmy Carny.

In addition, I will use that space for Buffalo-related posts and the like as well.

This week's Foto Friday brings us a scan from a brochure I found when in the urologist's office. I quickly realized that a urologist's office is a wonderful place to pick up some fairly interesting brochures.

This particular brochure is for testicular self-examination. The first disconcerting thing was the picture of the man who looks a bit too gleeful and pleased about his self-examination. Another oddity is that, despite the fact that the office was a modern building, the brochures seemed to be at least 20 years old.

Enjoying it?

Here are the top ten things to say after being caught sleeping at your desk:

1. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
2. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to!"
3. "Whew! I guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time."
4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
5. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
6. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
7. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
8. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down really close?"
9. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"
10. Raise your head slowly and say, " . . . in Jesus' name, Amen."

Click to add calendar

I took some time and created a 2006 World Cup match listing that you can add to your own calendar. If you already have a Google Calendar account set up, just click on this link and you should be all set. The 2006 FIFA World Cup - Updated Bracket Details calendar includes only the bracket games from the Round of 16 and on. As teams are decided, the calendar will be updated.

If you don't already use Google Calendar, it's time to consider it. If you already have a Gmail or Google account, just head to the Google Calendar page and sign right up.

Google Calendar is one of the cleanest, easiest online calendars out there. And because it's online, you can access it from wherever you want. You can access the calendar from calendar.google.com, from your customized Google homepage, from your cell phone, or from Google Desktop. If you use Gmail, dates that appear in your correspondence bring up links on the right column for easy addition to your Google Calendar. (This feature works with varying degrees of success.) Another great feature is that you can create a calendar and share it with the world or with just your friends. There are plenty of other features that you'll have to find on your own.