The Smarmy Carny

Running out

Today, I headed to Lake Erie for a Polar Bear Swim for charity.
The air temperature? A balmy 35° F.

I have read some things that mention the fact that the water temperature is often warmer than the air temperature. I assure you that today, this was not the case. The water was literally breathtaking. After completely submerging myself, I wanted to give out a large roar, but it took a good 10 seconds to catch my breath. Even getting out of the water wasn't really that cold an experience — except for the water in my shoes beginning to freeze!

I definitely think this was worth doing. I'm glad I added it to my list of 43 Things, or else I never would have taken the time!

See more progress on: polar bear swim

Still feeling old? Just in case you weren't, the Class of 2009 Beloit College Mindset List has been released. In case you missed my previous Mindset List post, the List identifies some facts of life that distinguish this year's freshman class from the generations that preceded it.

Here are some selections from this year's 2009 Mindset List. As before, I am listing a small selection of this year's 75 items.

Class of 2009:

• They never saw Pat Sajak or Arsenio Hall host a late night television show.
• Jimmy Carter has always been an elder statesman.
• They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.
• They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station wagon with six others.
• Bill Gates has always been worth at least a billion dollars.
• For daily caffeine emergencies, Starbucks has always been around the corner.
• "Whatever" is not part of a question but an expression of sullen rebuke.

And there you have it. Youth is wasted on the young.

HeadOn is a new OTC product on the market. Basically, it looks like a large tube of ChapStick, except you rub it on your forehead to relieve headaches.

Interestingly enough, HeadOn comes in five varieties:

• HeadOn® P.M.
• HeadOn® Migraine
• HeadOn® Extra Strength
• HeadOn® Children's
• HeadOn® Tension Headache

This, of course, leads me to wonder how effective the Tension Headache product is on migraine. If you get a migrane and have the Tension Headache product, do you have to run out to the store for more? Just when you thought that five varieties were a bit overwhelming, it turns out that they're also asking if people would be interested in products directed specifically for sleep aid, menstrual headaches, and sinus headaches, as well as fever reducers for adults and children. Of course, when compared with Robitussin's 30 different-yet-similar products, it's a simple choice.

HeadOn's website boasts that the product is "colorless and non-sticky upon application." Somehow, I'm guessing a big colorful streak on the forehead just didn't go over well in the initial testing phases.

Just be prepared to explain to people that you're not inappropriately using your ChapStick on your forehead.

Ahh, I remember it like it was yesterday . . . or at least, just like it was last year's yesterday tomorrow . . .

Looking back on my first post last year, I see that many of the things I said have changed. Back then, I didn't care to read anyone's blog, but now that I am a blog writer, I have become accustomed to reading other blogs. Of course, feed software makes this much less painless, too. In addition, I had anticipated that Firefox's LiveBookmarks were the place to be for reading RSS feeds, but that just isn't true. So many other programs rule the roost.

One thing hasn't changed is my apathy for my own blog. Nonetheless, I try to make my postings as interesting as possible. Maybe someday, I will be successful.

I was surprised about the number of hits I received on my blog, though. I assumed that I would receive a dozen or so hits a day at most, just like on my previous lame websites. Interestingly, the blogosphere brings with it much traffic. I suppose that regular fresh content makes plenty of difference as well, compared with my endlessly-static content on previous sites.

And, if you'd like to sing Happy Birthday, go ahead . . . or sing it "Weird Al" style!

Well, happy birthday to The Smarmy Carny. Good times.

Michael Vale, R.I.P.

On Christmas Eve 2005, Michael Vale, a.k.a. Fred the Baker, a.k.a. "The Dunkin' Donuts 'Time to make the donuts!' guy", passed away at age 83 from complications due to diabetes.

"It's time to make the donuts!" was and always will be one of those pop-culture phrases that will forever ring in my generation's ear.

I don't remember it, but Vale also played Soapy Suds in several 3-2-1 Contact episodes. He also appeared in three episodes of Car 54, Where Are You? as well as an episode of The Cosby Show.

Also, John Lovitz played Vale in a Saturday Night Live skit about Vale's retirement in 1997 that was sort of funny.

This post has been re-posted at Random Fodder, Novac's personal blog.

This post has been re-posted at Random Fodder, Novac's personal blog.

Happy new year, all. 2005 has passed and 2006 is here.

The down side? 2006 offers us the painful XXth Olympic Winter Games. The hockey I love, and some other winter sports are fabulous, but it's all preempted for 24-7 lame ice skating. It's sickening, and I'll surely post about this in depth in the future. Unfortunately, I can't blame the networks, because the numbers show that many, many people watch figure skating. Who are these people???

As promised, here is my list of 43 Things to accomplish in 2006:

1. attend a local government meeting
2. attend Sunday School regularly
3. Be a better blogger
4. Build a computer
5. build an igloo
6. buy a laptop
7. buy a washing machine
8. clean up my house and keep it clean
9. curb my road rage
10. eat healthier
11. eat with my hands
12. enjoy my family
13. exercise regularly
14. finish all the things I
15. Finish my website
16. Floss Every Day
17. get a job
18. get my a+ certification
19. go camping
20. go on a second honeymoon
21. have family devotions
22. Have people over for dinner
23. keep a loaded squirt gun in my car at all times . . . just in case
24. Learn Spanish
25. learn the Jedi Mind Trick
26. lose weight
27. make a time capsule
28. open the yellow pages, pick the seventh restaurant, and eat the seventh entree and dessert on the menu
29. paint my own abstract art
30. polar bear swim
31. Read all the "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" series
32. read the Bible in a year
33. Reduce debt.
34. Research my family tree
35. Send a message in a bottle
36. sleep in a hammock
37. spend ten minutes holding the door for people
38. stick to a budget
39. stop living paycheck to paycheck
40. stop procrastinating
41. take 43 photos of 43 places within 43 minutes of where I live
42. visit a windmill farm
43. win at the internet

You can also head to 43 Things or to my own 43 Things page on The Smarmy Carny and check out my list and progress.