The Smarmy Carny

Spring has returned, and you know what that means — time to start living in Wal-Mart again!

In March 2006, the Des Moines Register reported that Skyler Bartels had spent part of his spring break living in a 24-hour Super Wal-Mart in Windsor Heights, Iowa. Of course, Wal-Mart offered all the products he needed to do it.

Bartels entered the store wearing jeans and a t-shirt and was equipped with only a phone, medication, ID, and a credit card. He bought anything else he needed during his 41-hour stay at Chateau WM. From Subway food to pre-packaged snacks to underwear to toothpaste, Bartels purchased everything he needed. What was missing, though? Bartels complained that he could not find a bed to use.

Bartels finally bailed early after 41 hours because he saw greeters pointing in his direction shortly before a managerial meeting was announced.

Now that we have spring break returning this year, will Wal-Marts across the nation experience law-abiding shut-ins?

Do you love the sasquatch?

The correct answer is: "Oh yeah."

This video is for a song titled "Forest Ninja (I Love the Sasquatch)" by VeryTasteful.com. It's all about the life of the sasquatch. Would he pay you back if he borrowed money? Has he ever used a car? These questions and more are answered!

If this video isn't your style and you're an internet geek, perhaps you'd prefer VeryTasteful.com's "Wiki-Man" video instead. This song is devoted to the Wikipedia-obsessed editors out there.

Today, March 22, is Captain James T. Kirk's birthday. He will be born on this day in the year 2233.

Roddenberry suggested in a book that Kirk was born in Iowa. In 1985, the town of Riverside, Iowa referring to the town as Kirk's birthplace. They later contacted Roddenberry and got official permission.

Of course, the town has an annual Star Trek/Kirk birthday celebration where you can buy "Kirk Dirt" and see their Enterprise-esque U.S.S. Riverside sitting in the town square.

(Fans of SpikeTV's Invasion Iowa will recognize this town. They got pranked on the show when Shatner and others pretended to be filming a movie in their town.)

I suggest, however, that they change their name from Riverside to Geekville.

After posting just once in January, only during the Super Bowl in February, and updating the list of Oscar contests in March, a bit of blogging burn-out has kept things quiet around here, but never fear: The blogging action has returned!

Since the posts have stopped in December 2006, a lot has happened that The Smarmy Carny was unable to discuss:

1. 2006 became 2007.
2. They actually went through with extending Daylight Savings Time.
3. Hillary Clinton finally stopped pretending that she wasn't going to run for the 2008 Presidential election.
4. Lost returned with a worse time slot and lower ratings.
5. The Decepticons attacked Earth.

OK, so maybe the last one isn't quite true, but it will happen (in a sense) this July 4. Luckily, things keep happening, and there's always something to blog about.