The Smarmy Carny

Cars have so many features nowadays that it can make your head spin.

• Cooled Compartments: D- I'll file this one under "Things that sounded cool until I realized I would literally never use them." These aren't refrigerators, either — they're simply cooled compartments. So if you have something cold, it will stay cold for two hours instead of an hour and a half. Yippee.
• Heated Seats: C I've never had heated seats, but I've heard that they are wonderful for drivers in cold climates. My problem with the heated seat is that it's not natural. Sure, you can sit on the comfy heated seat, but then you have toasted buns and your fingers are still freezing off.
• Power Windows: A- I miss having to lean over to manually roll down the passenger side window before I started getting power windows. And I don't think the rear passenger window was rolled down for the entire two years I owned that car. Power windows are wonderful, except when they break. Then, you get to watch people at the toll booth opening their door to try and hand their money to the toll booth attendant. That doesn't hurt the rating here for two reasons: First, it's hilarious to watch, and second, manual windows have the same problem.
• Cup Holders: A+ Remember when we didn't have cup holders in the car? When buying fast food, we'd be forced to rely on those lousy cardboard drink holders. And forget about the coffee on the drive to work — you'd just set it on the dash and hope no one made you swerve.
• Dual Zone Climate Control: C- Ever want to The only time that this feature is worthwhile is when your significant other complains that s/he's burning up when you're freezing cold or vice versa. The feature won't actually help you much, but it'll keep the both of you from arm wrestling in front of the console. If you're single, consider this one an F. Anyone who likes this feature might also want to follow Steven Wright's advice and buy a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in the same room, too.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which car features do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 28th, 2007 at 15:58 by Novac and is filed under All, Automobiles, Blogathon, Blogathon 2007, Charity, Ratings, Transportation, Travel.   You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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