The Smarmy Carny

The Blue Ghost from Pac-Man interrupts a college lecture about rapid equilibrium at Case Western Reserve University.

Despite what movies would have you believe, this is what made college so enjoyable when I went . . . moments like these:

Download the video if you so prefer.

Finally, something from the UN that I'll post positively about!

UNESCO (the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) is backing a project they have dubbed the project of the 21st century. This project is titled KEO.

At the end of 2007 (or possibly in 2008), the satellite KEO will be launched into space for 50,000 years, when it will return to earth. KEO (named for the three most universal sounds in today's languages) will have a current-day map of the earth on its outer shell. Inside, there will be a diamond that includes an etching of human DNA and samples of current-day sea water, air, soil, and human blood; portraits of people including diverse nationalities; the astronomical clock, which future scientists will use to date the satellite; a "contemporary 'Library of Alexandria' offering a rational description of ourselves and our time"; and all our messages from individuals of today who wish to contribute.

What's this about our messages? That's right. Every person on the Earth is invited to write up to "four pages" (technically, you have 6,000 characters) of text to be included on the glass-tempered CD-ROMs to be included in KEO. All messages must be contributed by December 31, 2006. Other than length and time, there are no restrictions.

Interestingly, the KEO team says that on KEO's reentry, it will create an artificial Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) whose luminosity and glow will light up the sky, announcing its arrival.

Read plenty more on the English KEO website. As usual, Wikipedia's KEO page has plenty to add regarding KEO as well.

Hurry and get your message added — the deadline is December 31, 2006!

Not sure what type of message to write? Here are some messages that will be included:

… So I have a prayer for our future generations:
That you treat your children like the precious gifts that they are. Teach them to respect and love themselves, teach them to love, and to be tolerant of each other. We do that by example, because we have learned that children imitate the behaviors that are presented to them, educate them, give them hope, and keep them healthy. Yes, every child is worth the effort… Teresa, 46 years, USA

… Dear Future Beings,
I am writing to you with optimistic hope that you exist, that you have the science and technology to decipher this, and that you have the incentive and freedom to do so. One of my great interests is paleontology. It is ironic that if my physical remains exist at all now, they are probably in the form of fossils—similar to those fossils that have decorated my home… Chris, 45 years, USA

… Hello. Do you have special toys? Do you have a fireplace? Do you have a car? Do you have a closet? Do you have a blanket? I have three blankets. I can write my name: Kayla. What is your name? Do you have glasses? I like my mommy. I have a dog named Woo. Do you have a dog? I have a purple outfit. My favorite color is green.…. As dictated to her grandmother by Kayla, 4, USA

…Some time in the near future I will be strapped down on a gurney and poison will be run into my veins until I can no longer breath and my hearts stops beating…I hope that in your world politicians have to be against the death penalty in order to get elected. Or better yet, no politicians at all. They love to start wars but never do the actual fighting… Miguel, prisoner, USA

… I'll tell you how to make hamburgers. You need:

• 1 pound ground lean beef
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 4 tomato slices (if you like them)

… Joshua, 10 years, Canada

… To whom am I writing? An evolved human being or some other life form? Maybe a roach. I’ve always felt that roaches will inherit the earth. Or maybe tube worms, protected from wars or disease down there near those deep ocean vents. If you’re a roach or a tube worm, then you won’t understand anything I’m saying. My thoughts will be as foreign to you as a trilobite’s would be to me. But maybe—just maybe—you are a descendant of human beings. 50,000 years isn’t all that long, actually. Many humans are now living to be a hundred. If a hundred-year-old human touches the hand of a newborn who then, when he or she reaches a hundred, touches the hand of a newborn, etc., it takes only 500 humans to form a 50,000 chain… Madge, 68, USA

…My favorite things so that you might better understand my world.

• Sitting quietly and petting my purring cat
• Feeling a cool breeze on a hot day
• Listening to the wind rustle the tree branches from my balcony
• Watching the snow fall
• Sitting on the beach edge with my toes in the water…
• Listening to foreign voices in foreign places
• Walking the streets of an unknown town
• Walking the streets of my home town
• Enjoying a good meal with friends and family

… Wendy, 37, USA

Here it is: Try out the Falling Sand Zen Garden.

The odd thing about this is that I looked at the game for about 30 seconds and realized what a lame, stupid game it was. After two minutes, however, I was hooked, and 30 minutes later, I had to pull myself away. I would have posted this earlier, but I got hooked and ended up playing on it for another 15 minutes.

Confused? You should be. Here are some hints to make things more interesting. Also, I find it most useful to start by drawing a wall along the bottom of the board so everything doesn't just fall out of the map.

• Cera = Ceramic
• Fire burns Oil (quickly)
• Water grows Plants
• Fire burns Cera (slowly)
• Water makes Namekuji grow
• Salt makes Namekuji shrink
• ??? pink stuff consists of pure evil

There you have it. Now you can go ahead and play to your heart's content.

Additionally, there's even a song specifically about this timewasting game. Tim DeBruine of Craic Wisely wrote "Falling Sand Song." Crazy fun.

Windmills

As I was driving around through farmland and hilly landscape today, I noticed a strip of about a mile with several yellow "No Wind Turbines" signs posted in some lawns. The signs also had a web address for "Save Upstate New York," a self-described "concerned citizens' group."

Personally, I enjoy windmills of all sorts. Granted, the power-generating windmills are more practical than aesthetic, but it still seems visually pleasing to me.

The only people who I could imagine disliking wind power are corporations providing alternate sources of power and Don Quixote.

Oh, and lest we forget the typical NIMBYs ("Not In My BackYard"-ers) that crop up over any such issues. The reason that this issue has become so overblown is because one of the NIMBYs down in the Chautauqua Lake area happens to be ever-unsuccessful gubernatorial candidate Thomas Golisano. He has more than enough money to throw around, giving lousy signs to hapless folks so that he doesn't have to have windmills in his area.

For additional information, read the (northeastern NY paper) Press Republican's article "Wind-farm opponents step up efforts." Irreverent Buffalonian magazine The Beast also has an insightful article titled "A Mighty Wind: Wind Power Threatens Corporate Bottom Line."

If you have read my blog for any period of time, you'll know that I am categorized on the right half of the political spectrum on most issues. The articles I have read finger the Republicans for being corporate jerks and not wanting the windmills to drain any revenue from the oil companies. Oddly enough, however, most of the arguments against wind turbines are environmental and ecological in nature: Soil erosion, bird and bat collisions, noise pollution, ice throw, flashing red lights (plane warning lights), and the deadly "shadow flicker."

They argue that birds and bats have collisions with structures, turbine blades and wires causing death or injury. This is hyperbolic, but even if it weren't we really need to make sure we keep all the bats alive. They are endangered, and we need all the bats we can get!

They also use the Liberal tactic of class envy by noting that "wind power is made financially viable and–in the short term–highly profitable for wind developers through multiple tax incentives." Yeah, let's protest wind power because wind developers might make some money! No one should make money!

Another crazy item is that windmills will have a negative impact on tourism. Ever hear anyone say "My family had planned on vacationing in ______, but then we realized that they had windmills there now, and it's just not the same." Anyone?

For more wind power information, feel free to check out windpower.org

Which is it?

Moshe Koppel of Bar-Ilan University in Isreal has developed a program that can tell the gender of the author by the structure and words used in the text. It is about 80% accurate.

You may yawn at this. The interesting thing is what it tells us about the way we interpret and represent the world. You might still yawn at this, unless you're a sociologist.

What may interest you, however, is that someone has written a fun little script that takes the basics of the basics from Koppel's theories and program and allows you to test some of your writing samples. Of course, keep in mind that, despite the fact that Koppel's program is 80% accurate, this simplified program probably does not run at such efficiency.

I guess we can now replace the taunt "He throws like a girl" with "He writes like a girl."