The Smarmy Carny

Feeling young and sprightly? If you do and you're well out of college, you may want to review Beloit's annual College Mindset List. Recently released was the Class of 2011 mindset list. It puts into perspective how the world is different for young adults today.

I appreciate this list because it doesn't simply list what happened the year that this group of college freshmen were born. Anyone who has read a "year you were born" list knows that they are essentially useless because you don't remember anything that happened when you were 0 years old. This list shows you what kids may not be aware of and even how they might view things differently than older generations. For instance, what do you think of when you hear "Tiananmen Square"? Most college freshmen think of it only as an upcoming Olympic venue.

Here are 15 selections from this year's 2011 Mindset List. In all, there are 70 items, so check out Beloit's annual College Mindset List for the complete list.

Class of 2011:

• What Berlin wall?
• Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
• They have grown up with bottled water.
• Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
• No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
• Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.
• Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.
• Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.
• High definition television has always been available.
• Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.
• MTV has never featured music videos.
• Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.
• They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.
• The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.
• Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.

Here are 15 additional entries for the Class of 2010, in case you're wondering about the current sophomores:

Class of 2010:

• The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
• They have known only two presidents.
• There has always been only one Germany.
• A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
• "Google" has always been a verb.
• Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
• There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.
• Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
• Reality shows have always been on television.
• They have no idea why we needed to ask "…can we all get along?"
• They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
• They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
• They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
• Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
• Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.

Craving more? Read about the Class of 2009 Mindset List and a summary of the Mindset Lists for the Classes of 2002 through 2008.

Want to win a Macy's shopping spree? Simply protest Macy's!

Max Goodlet learned that there's serious money to be made by protesting Macy's — so long as you don't mind spending your winnings at Macy's.

Marshall Field's in Chicago was taken over and renamed to Macy's in September. Marshall Field's was considered by many Chicagoans to be one of the city's historic traditions, so a number of people came to protest the renaming and opening of Macy's.

Max Goodlet stood in front of the store to protest Macy's, along with many other people who were there to protest or to attend the store's grand opening. Goodlet ended up winning a $1,000 Macy's gift card. By the time reporters caught up with him, the anti-Macy's message had been replaced with a message of appreciation. He was bogged down with merchandise, waiting for family to help him carry his bags.

Another protester,Helen Bezanes, claimed her $10 Macy's gift card, but she proffered the lame note that she was shopping "under duress."

Next time a Chicago store changes its name, protesters will brandish signs stating "Don't change the name — but if you do, give us free stuff while you're at it."

I am Superman!

I'm Super!

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

1. Superman: 70%
2. Green Lantern: 65%
3. Hulk: 60%
4. Spider-Man: 60%

I'm not sure I can agree with the results of this quiz, as I'm not particularly given to helping others. Perhaps the quiz sensed that I was currently participating in Blogathon and gave me bonus points in this category. Oh, and I'm not strong, either. 2 out of 4 ain't bad, I guess.

Of course, I was hoping for a more extensive, geekier quiz that took a few dozen superheroes into account. Perhaps there's one out there, waiting for the right time to show me which superhero I am!

Perhaps I should have applied to be on Who Wants to Be a Superhero?!

Interested in finding out which superhero you are? Take the Superhero Personality Quiz!

For more personality quizzes, check out my Personality Tests page over at Random Fodder.

For those who have cat allergies but still love the annoying little creatures, you can now buy one of "the world’s first scientifically-proven hypoallergenic cats" from Allerca.

Currently, a hypoallergenic cat will cost you a mere $3,950 . . . peanuts compared with the expensive cost of allergy medication. Of course, for that $4k, you get a 12-week old kitten, a microchip identifier implant, a year of vet health insurance, nail caps, and other goodies.

The Allerca site does give some suggestions if you're not willing to drop the $4k on a hypoallergenic cat: Buy a regular cat, replace your carpeting throughout the house with wooden floors, use HEPA air filters throughout the house, and switch any curtains to vinyl blinds.

What ever happened to the pet rock? They have always been hypoallergenic, and at a fraction of the price. Oh, and cleanup is a snap. Now we just have to wait for them to come up with hypoallergenic dust mites, moss, and lichen.

Fun fact: Hypoallergenic cats are 27% tastier than normal cats.

This is a years-old internet classic. I thought of it again today, so I figured I'd be the eight millionth person to post it. OK, OK, so it's more like the 435,000th page to include the info, but who's counting (other than Google)?

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

According to Snopes, the origins are undetermined, but this particular paragraph was popularized by languagehat.com's RDIAENG post, which also attempts to find the source with varying degrees of success.

There's a ringtone floating around the internet specifically for teenagers.
Is it the latest Billboard Top 100 hit? No.
Is it the Ask a Ninja ringtone? No.
Is it a ringtone that kids can hear, but older adults cannot hear? Absolutely!

The ringtone, assuming you can hear it, is awfully annoying. The recent usage of this ringtone, however, is that students can hear their banned cell phone ringing without their teacher harping on them to turn their phone off.

Download and listen to the Mosquito Ringtone.

The New York Times wrote an article on the ringtone noting that one student was surprised that his 28-year-old teacher was able to hear the ringtone. (The ringtone's range is generally inaudible to those in their 40s and older.)

The ringtone is adapted from the Mosquito alarm, a device intended to keep loitering teenagers away from shopfronts while not disturbing older passersby.

A grocery list

This week's site is The Grocery List Collection. Just as you might think, the site collects abandoned grocery lists, scans them, and places them online.

There are currently 1100 lists posted, and plenty of them are mundane — but that's what a grocery list is, isn't it? In the mix, you'll find some interesting lists, like lists of completely unrelated items, lists from the anal retentive (like me), lists worth five dollars, and lists with bizarre items such as kitten faces or poop bags.

You'll see lists from hastily written lists on Post-It Notes to carefully written, multi-column lists on notebook paper. You'll see the world's worst spelling. You'll see the various ways to mark off which items you have retrieved, from check marks to scribbling items off to no marking at all, which happens to be my method of choice.

Other than the pictures of the lists, there's not much else on the site. There are a few features missing from the site that I would have preferred: A rating system and a comments system would have given a community feel to the site and would have brought me back repeatedly. Also, keywords/tagwords would have been nice, particularly if each photo listed all the foods on it, so you could bring up all of the lists including bananas or rank food items by popularity. I have a feeling that either of these would probably require a site overhaul, though. It's too bad.