The Smarmy Carny

Now that's using your head!

GoldenPalace.com is, by far, the most innovative company when it comes to guerrilla marketing. For that, I give them plenty of credit. I don't agree with what they do, and I have never been to the site, but I have seen their numerous publicity stunts. Most of their "stunts" are absurd purchase on eBay. I'll post more about this whole phenomenon later.

This Saturday's Simpleton is not GP, as I have just gushed over how great their creative advertising is. Unfortunately, this week's Simpleton is the woman who carried out their latest stunt.

Kari Smith tattooed GP's address in 1-inch tall letters on her forehead for $10,000. Now, I understand that everyone has their price, but I think they lowballed Smith on this one. The 30-year-old sold her forehead so her son could get an education at a private school.

For tattoo removal, you can end up paying $5,000, and possibly more. If she couldn't drum up the $10,000 to send her precious son to school, she won't be able to gather the $5k, either. Tatto removal just isn't cheap. Unless, of course, you want a gang tattoo removed. Then, you can get someone to do it in exchange for some community service.

According to the AP's story (link now dead), the tattoo artist and his staff spent just under seven hours trying to talk her out of getting the tattoo.

When it comes down to it, I don't see a loving mother desperate to give her son a better life. That sort of status is earned by much more courageous people than this. All I see is a woman desperate for attention. She should have gone onto a reality show instead.

Money Flies

This alarming news arose a couple days ago and caught my attention. The G8 decided to consider imposing a levy on airline tickets to finance extra aid for African nations. This came shortly after G8 agreed to forgive the debts of poor countries. This seems to happen every few years, and it makes me wonder why countries keep loaning them money. Perhaps it's the thought of "If we gave you the money, we wouldn't get to forgive your debts later and look so overwhelmingly compassionate."

You don't have to go far to find people confused about this move. One of my favorite quotes on the matter is that it's "hard to see why aid for small business in Mozambique should be funded in part by a family travelling from Glasgow to Malaga for a holiday." A spokesman for easyJet said that "There would be no side-benefit for the environment as the tax would not give any incentive on people to alter their behaviour."

Not to fear, though, if you're American. U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow made clear that Washington has opposed this in the past and that our position had not changed. Ron Paul (R – TX) brought forth House Amendment H.AMDT.271:

An amendment numbered 10 printed in the Congressional Record to prohibit any of the funds in the Act from being used by the U.N. to develop or publicize any proposal concerning taxation or fees on any United States person to rause [sic] revenue for the U.N. or any of its specialized or affiliated agencies.

Read more about the levy at Reuters AlertNet and also about Paul's amendment at The Sierra Times.

As if there weren't enough reasons to object to this silly idea, you should know that the two primary supporters of this levy are France and Germany. I know . . . I was shocked to find out, too.

Lincoln-Kennedy Penny

Recently, I posted about the assassinations foretold in Moby Dick. That reminded me of the popular Lincoln-Kennedy coincidences. I did a few searches and compiled some of the more interesting items.:

• Lincoln was elected president in 1860, Kennedy in 1960.
• Both were elected to the House of Representatives in '46.
• Both failed to win the vice presidential nomination in '56.
• Lincoln defeated Stephen Douglas, born in 1813; Kennedy defeated Richard Nixon born in 1913.
• Both presidents lost children while in the White House.
• Both were shot from behind and in the head.
• Both were slain on a Friday, in the presence of their wives.
• Lincoln was killed in Ford's Theater, Kennedy was killed in a Ford automobile; a Lincoln.
• The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
• President Lincoln's secretary, whose name was Kennedy, advised him not to go to the theater. Kennedy's secretary, whose name was Lincoln, advised him not to make the trip to Dallas.
• They were both succeeded by Southern Democrats named Johnson, who held seats in the U.S. Senate.
• Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson were both born in '08.
• Both Johnsons were opposed for reelection by men whose names start with "G."
• The names Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson each contain 13 letters, as do the names of their wives, Eliza McCardle and Claudia Taylor.
• John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald were both born in '39.
• Booth shot Lincoln in a theater and was captured in a barn, a warehouse. Oswald allegedly shot Kennedy from a warehouse, the depository, and was arrested at a theater.
• Both assassins were killed before they could be brought to trial.
• The names John Wilkes booth and Lee Harvey Oswald both total 15 letters.

To quote a Dan Bern song, "Whoever gets elected in 2060 had better beware, had better think about this weird little thing."

With all the mumbo jumbo with hidden codes and such, from the television show Numbers to The Da Vinci Code, I thought I would post
Assassinations Foretold in Moby Dick.

This has been in my favorites for years, and I enjoy coming back to it every so often. If you surf around on his webspace, you'll find some other such items from other works as well.

If Moby Dick doesn't interest you, you can also read about why Barney is evil.

Spider-Mike

It looks like Jackson now has some competition from Tyson in the "Stupidest Lines Uttered by a Michael" category this month.

Tyson apparently approached a "suspicious-acting man" near his home recently and yelled at the man, asking him what he was doing. Of course, the man was startled and scared upon seeing Tyson. My guess is that it's not because Tyson is a professional boxer, but instead because the guy knows that Mike Tyson is a nutcase. When he ran away, he was probably covering his ears to keep them safe.

I mostly just wanted to note what Tyson said about himself in light of this confrontation, according to the Seattle Times:

"The guy was scared to death," the mercurial Tyson told Newsday. "He was saying, 'Oh my God, Mr. Tyson, I'm sorry, I dropped my wallet somewhere on this block and I was looking for it.' "

Unlike Charles Bronson, Tyson said he momentarily felt "a little guilty" about his actions — until several frightened neighbors, who'd also seen the man lurking about, came up and thanked him.

"You believe that?" Tyson said. "Now I'm the neighborhood watch!

"I'm Spider-man!"

Yikes. I'm thinking that, when Wesley Willis died, his spirit passed on into Mike Tyson's body.

Rock over London, rock on Phoenix.