The Smarmy Carny

NBC has released the first 10 minutes of the My Name is Earl season 2 premiere as a treat to the online community.

As far as Earl goes, I've seen better scenes than these, but the plot for the episode is set up, and I'm guessing that the remainder of the episode will ramp up the fun factor.

NBC has been catering to the online community, it seems. Between seasons, NBC.com hosted The Office: The Accountants webisodes that center on Kevin, Angela, and Oscar. The ten webisodes covered a story arc involving a missing $3,000 and their attempts to find out who might have stolen the money.

Thornton and Heder

School for Scoundrels looks to be an entertaining comedy revolving around a loser-turned-romantic battling a teacher of romance.

Roger (John Heder, best known as Napoleon Dynamite) is a down-on-his-luck loser who can't communicate properly with women. He has the ever-popular (and manly) job of NYC meter maid.

Tired of being pushed around whereever he goes, Roger enrolls in a confidence-building class taught by Dr. P (Billy Bob Thornton). He tells them not to bother with self-help books: "You can't help yourself because yourself sucks." Dr. P and his assistant Lesher (Michael Clarke Duncan) take the students through the dangerous yet effective confidence-building course. As promised, the program is successful for Roger: He switches from loser to lover and impresses his longtime crush Amanda (Jacinda Barrett).

After Dr. P congratulates Roger on his success, Roger makes the mistake of telling him, "Maybe one day I'll teach the class." This causes Dr. P's competitive side to come out, and Dr. P becomes obsessed with showing Roger that he is the master — by stealing Amanda away from him.

Watch the School for Scoundrels trailer and decide for yourself. Don't forget to check out the official site, too. The movie is scheduled to be released September 29, 2006.

Today I was tagged by Jono over at *insert witty title here* to play a word association game.

Here are the five words provided for me, followed by my associations:

• Stick — Post-It
• Bottle — Message
• Mint — Listerine
• Camera — Lens
• Trolley — San Francisco

I hereby dissolve myself from any conclusions anyone might make — trained or otherwise — regarding these thoughts from my subconscious. It's disturbing to me, however, that 3/5 of my answers are proper nouns. Two companies and one city. Perhaps I'm merely a product of television and advertisements. At least my Trolley answer wasn't Rice-A-Roni (the San Francisco treat).

And now, I pass the torch along to 5 more bloggers. Here are the 5 random words for them:

• Kumquat — ?
• Gobbledygook — ?
• Lollygag — ?
• Diphthong — ?
• Masticate — ?

You can always count on me to be less traditional and more eccentric than the rest.

And here are the five bloggers I am tagging:

• Jule Ann – Who is Jule Ann?
• xenomouse – Screaming for Mercy
• Marlene – Buffalo Tales from South Wales
• Abigail – Shotsnaps
• Jim – According to Jim…

Of course, these five wonderful people are obligated to post their responses on their own blog, choose five new words, and tap five other people to play!

OK, so I cheated and picked not-so-random words. All the words I selected were from my list of 100+ Fun Words to Say. So sue me! (Disclaimer: By "sue," what I really mean is "place no legal action against.")

Since all the bugs are hopefully headed into hiding for the wintertime soon, here are a few bug jokes you can tell them while they're still hanging around. Remember: I'm not responsible for rolled eyes, shaking heads, or any other ridicule you might experience as a result of telling these jokes!

Q: What has six wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!

Q: What insect does well in English class?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team!

Q: What type of bugs live inside clocks?
A: Ticks!

Q: What did the boy fly say to the girl fly?
A: Excuse me — Is this stool taken?

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs!

Man: Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The backstroke!

Q: Why did the spider test drive the car?
A: So he could take it for a spin!

Q: How do fleas prefer to travel?
A: By itch-hiking!

Q: What do you call a bug with four wheels and a trunk?
A: A Volkswagen Beetle!

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple!

Ferrell as Harold Crick

Stranger Than Fiction looks to be a crisp comedy with roles well-suited for Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, and Dustin Hoffman. It's due out November 10, in time for the Thanksgiving Hollywood push. Based on the trailer and other media I have seen thus far, I have placed it on my List of Movies to See (until I see it, of course).

Karen "Kay" Eiffel (Emma Thompson) is a depressive author who is suffering from writers block because she can't figure out how to kill off her main character, Harold Crick (Will Ferrell). Harold Crick is an IRS agent with OCD who lives alone, eats alone, and sleeps alone. Unbeknownst to Key, Harold is a real person, and he begins to hear Kay narrating his life as she writes it.

Harold visits a professor of English literature, Professor Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman), who gives him advice about how to interact and react with the narration and developing storyline.

Finally, Key has a breakthrough and figures out how to kill him. As she foreshadows the events in her book, Harold is alerted to his imminent death. After hearing Kay on a talk show, he sets out to find the author narrating (and controlling?) his life.

Also in the movie are Maggie Gyllenhaal as Ana, the love interest and Queen Latifah as Penny, Kay's assistant.

See the trailer for Stranger Than Fiction. Be sure to visit Sony's Stranger Than Fiction site (and click on "Enter the Site") to experience this well-developed site. (Kay narrates your cursor's movements as you navigate the site.)

Cross the beams to toast this one

Today is National Toasted Marshmallow Day. All across the nation, Americans of all ages are toasting up these sweet treats. It's no coincidence that this holiday falls in late August, when starting up a campfire and enjoying a toasted marshmallow seems like the natural thing to do.

Rumor has it that most marshmallows consist of up to 80% air. With that much air, they must be low-calorie, so dig in!

No matter how you enjoy marshmallows, there are so many different ways to prepare them:

• Toasted on a stick over a campfire. (Classic.)
• Microwave. High. 3 seconds. Ding!
• Toasted over the kitchen range. (Ideal only for rainy days.)
• Toaster-mallows. (Please allow 14 days for cleanup.)
• . . . and many more creative methods!

Once you decide on a cooking method, there are still different ways to prepare the marshmallow:

• Rotisserie marshmallow: Lightly caramelized shell with a warm, gooey core.
• Kids' choice: Flaming ball of marshmallow death, resulting in a black, charred mass on a stick that burns your fingers as you attempt to pull it off.
• ADHD marshmallow: Well-toasted on one side, raw on the other.
• Impatient and hungry person's choice: Slightly warmed with no true toasting at all.
• Raw. (The abomination!)

How do you prefer to cook your marshmallows, and how well done do you cook them? Let your voice be heard!

Of course, you can always use your toasted marshmallow to make a S'more, but you should know that National S'mores Day was back on August 10. You must have at least one unadulterated toasted marshmallow today! If you run out of fire, feel free to play a game of Chubby Bunny with your friends.

For more weird and bizarre holidays, check out my Eccentric Holidays calendar at Google Calendar.

Last Planet Standing

On the most recent installment of Last Planet Standing, Pluto was voted off the solar system.

Each week, viewers watch host Sol Helios and his sunny personality as he introduces us to footage from the previous week. We get to watch the planets as they are forced to live together in the same solar system. Uranus is the early crowd favorite, particularly with his humorous catchphrase, "Are there gaseous clouds around Uranus? You bet'cha!" Pluto was likely voted off this week because of his controversial and disparaging comments on last week's show regarding Jupiter's big red birthmark.

In a universal vote, Pluto received the least number of votes, just half of the votes placed for the next-lowest contestant, Neptune. Venus also did not score well with the audience, due to her provocative and promiscuous behavior. Another unpopular planet, Mercury, won immunity last week in a race around the solar system, whereas Pluto came in dead last.

Next week, the planets will box each other for immunity. Rumor has it that Saturn is the best planet inside the ring.

Last Planet Standing is a new reality show that you haven't heard of that airs on a network you haven't heard of, and is not to be confused with the Marvel limited series from 2006.