The Smarmy Carny

Which Colossal Death
Robot Are You?

Have you ever taken time out of your day to think about exactly what type of colossal death robot you would be if you were a colossal death robot? If not, then today is that day.

This one has been around for quite some time, but since I have a new venue to publish my findings, I will throw in some old classics every so often. Some of these classics are so old that people who have only gotten online in the past five years have never seen them, and people like myself who have been online for ten years have just plain forgotten about them.

Go ahead. Answer the simple questions and find out the answer to "Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?"

I took the test, and it turns out that I am Gigantor. Bigger than big! Stronger than strong!

You are Gigantor!
Born in 1963, You are possibly the original colossal death robot, being one of the patriarchs of the current crop, and definitely an advocate of old-skool enemy-bashing. Why use a clumsy particle weapon when you can create supernovas just by flexing your arms? Your one minor weakness is that you are entirely dominated by some kid with a remote contol – still, don't let it get you down. You can sink a nuclear submarine with jazz music.

Enjoy.

This mindlessly entertaining link is dedicated to Johnny Carson, may he rest in peace.

This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions.

The only episodes of American Idol that I watch (or half-watch, to be accurate) are the audition episodes. Psychodiva Mary Roche (aka Mary Guilbeaux and sometimes written "Mary Roche") was the final contestant shown on last night's show. Basically she acted a little strange (a bit Canadian, if you ask me) and did some standard awful singing, self-described as "pop rock meets broadway meets jazz and R&B". The judges then hand it over to Simon to explain to her that she is one of the worst they have ever heard. This prompted Mary to later say "The fact that they said that . . . that doesn't make me want to pursue any kind of singing career." I really don't think she understands that this really was their goal.
Read the rest of this entry »

4 more years!

There are less than five days until the 55th Presidential Inauguration Ceremony. It should be about as fun as any of the inauguration ceremonies, I suppose.

Mentally, it's a relief for me that the elections are long past us now. Without fail, I end up getting wrapped up into politics from the time the first candidate announces that he (or she) will be running in the primaries all the way through election night. Of course, 2000 was particularly taxing for anyone who cared, so 2004 was a bit of a relief. Whatever happened to the days of Ronald Regan, when a candidate could win it all except for Minnesota and DC? Back then, you could go to bed at 10:00 knowing who won. Nowadays, you've got to take at least a nap while you watch the pundits repeat the same pieces of information hour after hour after hour. Well, enough of this rambling. Why in the world am I writing about something that tires me to think about, let alone write about?

I noticed on the inauguration website that you could sign up for tickets. By now, I'm sure all of the tickets are more than gone, but part of me would like to go down there and be there for that. Of course, the same part of me would also like to go down to Punxsutawney, PA for Groundhog Day, too. That's only 2-and-a-half weeks away. I'm sure that by the time I'm dead, I still will not have attended either an inauguration ceremony nor the official Groundhog Day celebration.

Numa Numa Dance

I know I'm a bit late to this particular internet phenomenon, but I figured it was worth sharing anyway, since many have never seen this . . .

If you haven't seen the "Numa Numa Dance" (a.k.a. "Mya Mya," "Mya Hee, Mya Haa," "Hilarious Dude Lip Syncing," and many other things) video yet, you simply must take the time to watch it. It's basically a guy (Gary Brolsma) lip-syncing to a song titled Dragosta Din Tei by O-Zone.

You can watch the video here. I suggest clicking "View without subtitles" to see the best version in all its glory. You can also watch a larger version of the same video here, but that version also has dumb pictures interspersed throughout the video. I prefer to watch the weird guy the entire way through, thank you very much.

Uber-Update: Watch the New Numa Dance, too!

Update: I decided to add this link, since some people apparently want the info. Read the Dragosta Din Tei lyrics in both Romanian and English. If you're interested in buying the song, grab the single at Amazon. This import single includes the Original Romanian Version, the Original Italina Version, the Dj Ross Radio Mix, the Dj Ross Extended Remix, and the Unu In The Dub Mix. What more could you possibly want?

Marvin of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

As this is my first post, I figured I would give it a fitting name. The title I have chosen for my blog is the phrase spoken numerous times by Marvin from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I don't like hearing the word "blog" or "blogosphere," or whatever the pundits kept referring to it during the election mayhem. The worst part is that blogs are now littering the web and have pushed themselves into meaninglessness, due to the overwhelming numbers.

I don't particularly care to read blogs at all, though I have paid attention to several lately due to my curiosity about RSS and how well Firefox may or may not use it with LiveBookmarks.

The worst part about this blog is that not only do I not particularly care about other people's blogs, but I really don't care for my own blog, even as it is fresh and new for me. I'm also certain that most everyone in the world will feel even more apathetic than this regarding my blog, and those that do care really should get some sort of a life.