The Smarmy Carny

This Tostitos commercial shows three male office workers eating Tostitos and staring out the window.

The see three construction workers — one digging and three standing there watching. One of the office workers comments about how typical that is, and that it would never fly in the corporate world.

The camera then shows us that, in the same conference room, a fourth (female) office worker is sitting at a laptop, working away.

Finally, she says "I've got it!" and the other three come over to take a look.

One of the three office workers says "Nice job, team!" This, of course, garners a raised eyebrow from the female worker.

Watch the Tostitos commercial.

A hamster sits on a bench, talking to one of those comfortable Ronald McDonald statue.

The hamster talks about his ability to be a professional football mascot.

His idea is that he could roll into the stadium in a hamster ball, pop out, run across the field, and do a swan dive into a pile of wood chips.

All in all, a subtle commercial, but for McDonalds, it's above par.

According to USA Today, here are the commercials we can expect tonight during the Super Bowl:

• Aleve: Leonard Nimoy's hand pain gets in way of an appearance.
• Ameriquest: Patient's family walks in on medical misunderstanding.
• Ameriquest: Plane turbulence creates awkward situation.
• Bud Light: Office manager motivates employees with hidden bottles.
• Bud Light: A secret fridge stocks Bud Light.
• Bud Light: Man saves himself from scary bear.
• Bud Light: Men pretend to work on rooftops, but relax instead.
• Budweiser: Young Clydesdale dreams big.
• Budweiser: Sheep is a big fan of big game.
• Budweiser: Stadium crowd turns a wave into a Bud promotion.
• Burger King: Whopperettes sing and dance.
• CareerBuilder: Chimps celebrate strong sales quarter.
• CareerBuilder: Employees commiserate about workplace animals.
• Degree for Men: People living on the edge in Stunt City.
• Diet Pepsi: Jackie Chan appears in an action film.
• Diet Pepsi: Diet Pepsi sings with Diddy.
• Dove: Dove promotes self-esteem fund for young girls.
• Emerald of California: Machete men love Emerald Nuts.
• ESPN: Fan is in sports heaven when he uses ESPN's mobile phone.
• FedEx: Cave man uses prehistoric overnight delivery.
• Ford Motor: Kermit says green is good when he sees Escape hybrid.
• Gillette: Five-blade razor is a top secret until now.
• GM Cadillac: New Escalade truck poses on the catwalk as fashion model.
• GM Hummer: Monsters marry and have a Hummer baby.
• GoDaddy: GoDaddy woman sends man for oxygen again.
• Here's to Beer.com: Drinkers toast to beer in different languages.
• Honda: Ad for Ridgeline pickup brings trucking icons to life.
• MasterCard: MacGyver buys lifesaving gadgets with MasterCard.
• Michelob Ultra Amber: Touch football gets ugly.
• Motorola: Meteoric explosion helps create new Pebl phone.
• Nationwide Insurance: Life moves fast for romance novel cover star Fabio.
• New Line Cinema: Ad for new action movie Running Scared.
• NFL.com: Vote for Super Bowl MVP.
• NFL Mobile: Fan checks scores at checkout line.
• NFL Network: A nation of NFL fans and players.
• NFL/United Way: Players support United Way.
• Paramount: Ads promote Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible III.
• PS Cleaning Products: Some people avoid germs by living in green suits.
• Sierra Mist: Sierra Mist can't clear airport security.
• Sprint: Sprint phone doubles as theft deterrent.
• Sprint: Man downloads music for any occasion from Sprint phone.
• Toyota: Boy compares bilingual father to hybrid vehicle.
• Toyota: Tacoma pickup rides out the incoming tide.
• Walt Disney: Chris Berman calls play-by-play on The Shaggy Dog.
• Warner Bros.: Poseidon.
• Warner Bros.: V for Vendetta.
• Warner Bros.: 16 Blocks.

Puppy Bowl II

If you're not a sports fan, or if you're entertaining children, or if you're an animal lover, be sure to check out Puppy Bowl II.

It's currently airing (from 3pm to 6pm EST) on Animal Planet.

At halftime, the Kitty Halftime Show came on.

As horrible as it sounds, I actually watched a bit of it. It was more entertaining than hearing the lifetime stories of every single Pittsburgh and Seattle player.

Watch videos from Puppy Bowl II.

Burt = Celebrity

I simply have to weigh in on my favorite Super Bowl commercials from tonight. Overall, there were a few great commercials and plenty of fodder. I would have to say that this year's selection did not live up to many of the past years' ads. I can remember years where most of these top five selections wouldn't have even made it to the Honorable Mention section! Still, you take what you can get. If the ad title has a link, you can click it to watch the video. You may also view many ads at USA Today by clicking on the AdMeter tab. (The page doesn't work in Firefox, blame USA Today!) Thanks to The Irish Trojan's Blog for that extra link.

Here are the five best commercials in my opinion. I'll start with my favorite of favorites and work from there:

1. FedEx / Kinko's, 10 Keys to the Best Super Bowl Commercial (2nd link): From celebrities to animals to attractive girls, FedEx really does a great job of poking fun at the stereotypical Super Bowl advertisement.
2. Ameriquest, Don't Judge: You're Being Robbed (2nd link): These silly hands-free cellphone kits cause problems for an unsuspecting convenience store shopper.
3. Bud Light, Parachuting (2nd link): This typical comic Bud Light ad does not disappoint. Bud ads like this are great because they can easily be talked about around the water cooler the next day, and they usually are.
4. Anheuser-Busch, Thanks (2nd and 3rd links): Everyone in an airport terminal stand and applaud American soldiers arriving back in the States. Very simple, very classy, very touching.
5. Olympus, New Groove Machine (2nd link): Some interesting CGI in this commercial has people dancing in a weird fashion. Not exactly Monkey-Matrix moves, but just as cool. I haven't seen any CGI this much fun since the recent HP Photo commercials.

Five more commercials earning honorable mention (in no particular order, this time):

• McDonald's, Lincoln Fry (2nd link): This commercial pokes fun at all those people who find objects of food that look like things or people.
• Anheuser Busch, While You Were Out (2nd link): Another good Bud Light commercial. Two guys use their cameraphone to try to harass a buddy who had turned down tickets for the big game.
• Emerald of California, The Truth: A father lies to his daughter about Santa and the Easter Bunny (being fake) so he can avoid sharing his food.
• Ameriquest, Don't Judge: Cat (2nd link): Another Ameriquest "Don't Judge" commercial. This time the confusion comes from a pesky cat bothering a husband's dinner preparations.
• GoDaddy.com, FCC Panel: A buxom girl in a skimpy shirt tries to pass her commercial by the FCC decency panel. Here is a link for the slightly different banned version. In fact, here's two minutes of the full hearing coverage.

Dishonorable mention grand prize goes out to Cosentino USA's "I am Diana Pearl" spot featuring Ditka, Rodman, Perry, and McMahon. I'll never get that 30 seconds back again. As if the commercial wasn't sad and boring enough, not only did we have to hear celebrities repeating "I am Diana Pearl," but you only hear three of them repeating it over and over and over. Runners-up are all of Fox's promos for 24, The Simple Life, and whatever else. We know you have other shows. We don't care. We want you to rake in the additional money and give us more content! If nothing else, at least make the promos worthy of the Super Bowl, and not the exact same clips that we see at 2 am. Second runner-up dishonorable mention goes to Cialis. Yes, I really needed to hear about yet another erectile disfunction product. The commercial was made interesting only by the phrase "Erections lasting longer than four hours, though rare . . . "