The Smarmy Carny

Many of the Blogathon bloggers have taken to drinking coffee. Even an hour in, many bloggers were getting their morning fix.

Big mistake.

What most people don't realize is that coffee tastes horrible. Coffee drinkers usually counter with, "It just depends. Really good coffee tastes delicious." I then watch them make some instant coffee or pour the burnt sludge out of the coffee pot at work. When I do see someone get some decent coffee, I then watch them as they dump sugar and milk or creamer into their mug. What I don't get is this: If it's so delicious, why the need to dilute it and add sugar? The only coffee drinkers I respect are those who say it tastes great and drink it black.

Beer is right in the same category as coffee. They both taste absolutely horrible, and yet they are consumed by large numbers of people. Here's a little translation for you: When someone says that a beverage has "an acquired taste," that's just another way of saying, "This drinks absolutely horrid, but I drink it anyway." I think I'll go ahead and pass.

I could start with smoking, too, because the concept of intentionally breathing smoke just doesn't seem right. Next time I'm camping, I want to see all the smokers moving their lawn chairs into the campfire smoke! Those are the only smokers I can respect.

Many people drink coffee and smoke together. I want to see all of you moving your lawn chairs into the smoke as you drink your black coffee!

The Blogathon has been keeping me so busy that I seem to have forgotten to eat anything since breakfast. That was 8.5 hours ago, so it's time for food.

I don't think that constantly thinking about cereal is helping much, either.

Status: I'm a Hungry, Hungry Hippo. I'm not as hot or sweaty as before, but I'm still a bit unclean. Only 16 hours or so until I can take a shower again.
Verified sponsorship total: 6 pledges for $117.00
Unverified sponsorship total: 7 pledges for $129.00

Click to watch

The "Mentos and soda pop" fad has been going around lately, and it's interesting how many people have heard of the phenomenon now. What's truly upsetting, however, is how few of those people have seen the video of videos for Mentos and Diet Coca-Cola!

If you're interested in entering a Mentos and soda pop contest, watch the whole video!

What's great about this video is that they aren't just showing off the cool effect of Diet Coke and Mentos: They have recreated the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas!

Keep this in mind next time you eat a pack of Mentos and then chug a bottle of Diet Coke. It probably won't kill you, but you might end up looking like one of those fountains!

Snopes.com: Rumor has it.

Snopes is an urban legends reference page that I have been reading for almost ten years now.

You'll be surprised at what's true and what's not. Keep in mind that a story doesn't have to be false to be an urban legend. According to Snopes, here are the three conditions to be fulfilled for a story to be classified an "urban legend":

1. The story circulates widely.
2. The story is told and re-told with differing details.
3. The story is said to be true.

Some stories you've believed and retold others for decades turn out to be false. Stories you've rolled your eyes at turn out to be completely true. Here are some items that might surprise you:

• Does hair grow back darker/thicker after it has been shaved?
• Is celery a "negative calorie food"?
• Do the horses in Young Frankenstein neigh every time they hear Frau Blucher's name because "blucher" is the German word for "glue"?
• Will you get cramps if you go swimming less than 45 minutes/an hour after eating?
• Was a suicide captured in the background of The Wizard of Oz?
• Does eating turkey make you drowsy?
• Does the Swiffer WetJet pose a danger to dogs and other household pets?
• Did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC to remove "Chicken" from their name because their mutant birds could not be legally considered chickens, or was it to remove "Fried" from their name in order to seem healthier?
• Was the Titanic screening The Poseidon Adventure when it hit the iceberg?
• Is Jell-O made from bones and hides?
• Was an actor killed during the filming of the chariot race in Ben Hur?
• Do Twinkies never expire?
• Was television's Mr. Ed a horse?

Snopes is an overall great site to spend time on. Whether you're looking for some interesting reading to pass the time or settling a bet on whether Pop Rocks and soda pop will kill you, Snopes is the place to be.

Goldfish love Dasani

Dasani has added another set of commercials to their animal campaign!

Head to Dasani's website, which will load up a Flash page. From there, put your mouse over "TV Ads" and click on "Watch the New Ads." There, you'll find the three new commercials from the 2006 campaign. Three more animals proffer their advice on why Dasani is so great:

• Camel
• Goldfish
• French Poodle

Be sure to watch the 2005 Dasani commercials from this campaign, too!

I'm not sure if Wes Anderson was on board for these three commercials or not. I don't like them as much as the originals, so there's a possibility that Anderson wasn't brought back on for this round of commercials. On the other hand, Anderson could be involved, and it could just be the "everything good turns to crap eventually" theory at play here.

Update: It was Martin Granger who directed this second wave of Dasani commercials.

Coca-Cola Blak

Today, Coca-Cola is releasing Coca-Cola Blak in the U.S., a coffee-flavored cola. The product is being marketed as "The perfect pick-me-up any time of day." Those of us who drink soda but not coffee now have a way to fit in with the coffee-drinking crowd in the morning.

Coca-Cola Blak is a sophisticated, premium blend of Coca-Cola, natural flavors and coffee essence. . . . Imagine the refreshing taste of an ice-cold Coca-Cola that finishes with a rich essence of coffee. Only Coca-Cola can deliver that distinct combination of flavors.

. . .

"Coca-Cola Blak is the latest example of the kind of innovation we are delivering to meet the changing needs of our consumers," added Bayne. "We are very excited about this new brand and look forward to continuing to find new ways to satisfy Coca-Cola lovers."

Gee, I can't wait for Coke's Hot Chocolate drink to come out, too! And maybe we can get a Coke Orng, including orange juice essence.

Do you remember ::wikipedia("Laverne and Shirley", "Laverne De Fazio"):: always drinking Pepsi and milk? With Coke Blak, perhaps this combination wouldn't seem so odd. Despite my dislike of coffee, I'll have to give this drink a try. You never know what can be delicious — just look at the ingredients that make up the filling of Oreos.

By now, you have likelye seen the "Ted Ferguson, Bud Light Daredevil" commercials. Ted Ferguson performs daredevil stunts for the camera, but the stunts aren't your traditional Evel Knievel bus-jumping stunts. No, Ted undergoes even more dangerous situations. In fact, these stunts are more along the tortuous type of stunt than anything else.

In the commercials, Ted Ferguson attempts dangerous, daring stunts such as:

• Listening to his girlfriend
• Staying two minutes late at work on a Friday
• Letting his girlfriend pick the movie
• Listening to an entire ::amazon("B00004WFPS", "John Tesh CD")::.
• Going shopping with his girlfriend during playoffs
• Having dinner with his girlfriend without looking over at a table of hot girls

Of course, after enduring the stunt for a short while, the timekeeper calls time, and the support team rushes in to supply Ted with a towel and a Bud Light.

Of course, you may view any of these commercials at TedFerguson.com. The site even promises a Ted Ferguson soundboard soon, which should be fun.

Sit back, watch the Ted Ferguson commercials, and enjoy. He suffers so we can learn . . . and laugh.