The Smarmy Carny

Snopes.com: Rumor has it.

Snopes is an urban legends reference page that I have been reading for almost ten years now.

You'll be surprised at what's true and what's not. Keep in mind that a story doesn't have to be false to be an urban legend. According to Snopes, here are the three conditions to be fulfilled for a story to be classified an "urban legend":

1. The story circulates widely.
2. The story is told and re-told with differing details.
3. The story is said to be true.

Some stories you've believed and retold others for decades turn out to be false. Stories you've rolled your eyes at turn out to be completely true. Here are some items that might surprise you:

• Does hair grow back darker/thicker after it has been shaved?
• Is celery a "negative calorie food"?
• Do the horses in Young Frankenstein neigh every time they hear Frau Blucher's name because "blucher" is the German word for "glue"?
• Will you get cramps if you go swimming less than 45 minutes/an hour after eating?
• Was a suicide captured in the background of The Wizard of Oz?
• Does eating turkey make you drowsy?
• Does the Swiffer WetJet pose a danger to dogs and other household pets?
• Did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC to remove "Chicken" from their name because their mutant birds could not be legally considered chickens, or was it to remove "Fried" from their name in order to seem healthier?
• Was the Titanic screening The Poseidon Adventure when it hit the iceberg?
• Is Jell-O made from bones and hides?
• Was an actor killed during the filming of the chariot race in Ben Hur?
• Do Twinkies never expire?
• Was television's Mr. Ed a horse?

Snopes is an overall great site to spend time on. Whether you're looking for some interesting reading to pass the time or settling a bet on whether Pop Rocks and soda pop will kill you, Snopes is the place to be.

I recently bought a box of my all-time favorite cereal, ::amazon("B0004M01H6", "Fruity Pebbles")::. The box was labeled "Now Bronto-Bright," as if this were the best reason ever to purchase cereal.

Don't get me wrong — I love Fruity Pebbles. I believe it's the reason that God created rice . . . God knows there aren't many other good uses for it.

I'm not sure why a cereal that is already red (cherry), orange (orange), yellow (lemon), green (lime), and purple (grape) would ever need to add more colors like blue (berry blue), pink (Bedrock berry pink), and even more purple (incrediberry purple).

I'm further confused as to why the ever-increasing number of colors would also need to be even brighter. None of these colors or brightnesses have changed the taste of the cereal so far as I have detected. Do a taste test: Separate a handful of Fruity Pebbles into piles of each and see if you can determine the color/flavor of the pile by taste alone.

Cereal has become like the movies: The originals rule, but the sequels are unbearable. I'm not sure about the marketing teams that put together new variations on existing cereals, but they need to be taught a lesson. If you ask me, the Pebbles brand has gotten a bit out of hand. I think that the Fruity and Cocoa varieties were enough for the breakfast crowd. Nonetheless, we have three additional varieties: Fiesta Fruity Pebbles (essentially Fruity Pebbles with "confetti sprinkles"), Marshmallow Mania Pebbles, and "1/2 the Sugar Fruity Pebbles," the only sensible alteration of Pebbles.

Now we just have to wait for Bronto-Bright Cocoa Pebbles.

What are your thoughts on Fruity Pebbles' brightness? Where do you think Post will go from here to try and make their cereal more confusingly appealing? What's the worst "cereal sequel" you have seen?

Goldfish love Dasani

Dasani has added another set of commercials to their animal campaign!

Head to Dasani's website, which will load up a Flash page. From there, put your mouse over "TV Ads" and click on "Watch the New Ads." There, you'll find the three new commercials from the 2006 campaign. Three more animals proffer their advice on why Dasani is so great:

• Camel
• Goldfish
• French Poodle

Be sure to watch the 2005 Dasani commercials from this campaign, too!

I'm not sure if Wes Anderson was on board for these three commercials or not. I don't like them as much as the originals, so there's a possibility that Anderson wasn't brought back on for this round of commercials. On the other hand, Anderson could be involved, and it could just be the "everything good turns to crap eventually" theory at play here.

Update: It was Martin Granger who directed this second wave of Dasani commercials.

Coca-Cola Blak

Today, Coca-Cola is releasing Coca-Cola Blak in the U.S., a coffee-flavored cola. The product is being marketed as "The perfect pick-me-up any time of day." Those of us who drink soda but not coffee now have a way to fit in with the coffee-drinking crowd in the morning.

Coca-Cola Blak is a sophisticated, premium blend of Coca-Cola, natural flavors and coffee essence. . . . Imagine the refreshing taste of an ice-cold Coca-Cola that finishes with a rich essence of coffee. Only Coca-Cola can deliver that distinct combination of flavors.

. . .

"Coca-Cola Blak is the latest example of the kind of innovation we are delivering to meet the changing needs of our consumers," added Bayne. "We are very excited about this new brand and look forward to continuing to find new ways to satisfy Coca-Cola lovers."

Gee, I can't wait for Coke's Hot Chocolate drink to come out, too! And maybe we can get a Coke Orng, including orange juice essence.

Do you remember ::wikipedia("Laverne and Shirley", "Laverne De Fazio"):: always drinking Pepsi and milk? With Coke Blak, perhaps this combination wouldn't seem so odd. Despite my dislike of coffee, I'll have to give this drink a try. You never know what can be delicious — just look at the ingredients that make up the filling of Oreos.

By now, you have likelye seen the "Ted Ferguson, Bud Light Daredevil" commercials. Ted Ferguson performs daredevil stunts for the camera, but the stunts aren't your traditional Evel Knievel bus-jumping stunts. No, Ted undergoes even more dangerous situations. In fact, these stunts are more along the tortuous type of stunt than anything else.

In the commercials, Ted Ferguson attempts dangerous, daring stunts such as:

• Listening to his girlfriend
• Staying two minutes late at work on a Friday
• Letting his girlfriend pick the movie
• Listening to an entire ::amazon("B00004WFPS", "John Tesh CD")::.
• Going shopping with his girlfriend during playoffs
• Having dinner with his girlfriend without looking over at a table of hot girls

Of course, after enduring the stunt for a short while, the timekeeper calls time, and the support team rushes in to supply Ted with a towel and a Bud Light.

Of course, you may view any of these commercials at TedFerguson.com. The site even promises a Ted Ferguson soundboard soon, which should be fun.

Sit back, watch the Ted Ferguson commercials, and enjoy. He suffers so we can learn . . . and laugh.

Today is Get Over It Day.

Get over what? Get over:

• Failed relationships
• Ex-boyfriends or Ex-girlfriends
• Fears or anxieties
• Bad habits
• Embarassing experiences
• Insecurities
• Unrequited love
• Anything/everything you're struggling to move on from

I suppose my fear of small, shiny objects growing in size until they are large enough to eat my closest relatives would have to fall into that last category. Maybe that's what I'll get over today.

If you need help getting over it, you'll want to head to the Get Over It Day website.

The site does offer rewards for those who get over it, and even if you don't get over it, you can help console yourself with the coupon for buy one get one free classic sundae from Carvel and other printable coupons, good through March 31, 2006. Atlanta-area business have additional coupons posted, too.