The Smarmy Carny

I just took a 10 minute break to get out of this computer chair, get outside, and spend time with one of my sons.

Immediately after posting my Orange County Choppers post, I bolted to my room to change into something appropriate for wearing in public. I then ran to the backyard and we played a rousing 8-minute game of Sebastianball with my son. Sebastianball is sort of like (American) football, but more like rugby. Tackling is allowed, and so is tickling. To score, you simply need to throw the ball into a predesignated area. Preferably, you hit the tree in the middle of the yard.

I'm sad to say that I lost this short game with a score of 10-4. I've promised a rematch!

Status: Extremely sweaty, yet energized. The fan and some ice are not enough to help my current overheating, though.
Verified sponsorship total: 6 pledges for $117.00
Unverified sponsorship total: 7 pledges for $129.00

Fruity Pebbles got shut out against Shredded Wheat in the Champion of Breakfasts tournament, and I'm not happy! Shredded Wheat!?!

Fruity Pebbles is, by far, my favourite cereal. I love it. I could eat an entire box in one sitting without a second thought . . . and I don't even like rice! Fruity Pebbles should have won. Dude — it's not like it's Bronto-Bright! My whole world is caving in now . . .

Fruity Pebbles rules, but it just don't know it. It's like a bear — with claws and with fangs. Big teeth on it. And Shredded Wheat is just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner. Shivering. Yeah, just kinda . . . y'know, Fruity Pebbles has these claws and it's staring at those claws and it's thinking to itself, and with those claws it's thinking, "How am I supposed to beat Shredded Wheat? How am I supposed to beat Shredded Wheat?" And it's just kinda gently batting Shredded Wheat around, you know what I mean?

By the way, this rambling paragraph is only entertaining if you've seen ::imdb("tt0117802", "Swingers")::.

Are you curious about who is winning the votes in the Champion of Breakfasts tournament?

Every hour or so (but don't hold me to that!), I'll be posting winners from the contest over on the Champion of Breakfasts page.

As I have mentioned previously, the Champion of Breakfasts tournament is part of my Blogathon 2006 activity list. The brackets for the Champion of Breakfasts has now been released! Click on the thumbnail below to view the brackets.

Keep in mind that the order of matches has already been determined, but they do not follow a sequential order down the brackets.

What is Blogathon?

Short answer: Read my Blogathon page.
Long answer: On July 29, 2006, hundreds of bloggers from around the world will put their endurance to the test for charity, blogging at least every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight. Bloggers choose the charity and collect sponsorships. At the end of the event, those sponsors fulfill their pledges directly with the charity.

Click to watch

The "Mentos and soda pop" fad has been going around lately, and it's interesting how many people have heard of the phenomenon now. What's truly upsetting, however, is how few of those people have seen the video of videos for Mentos and Diet Coca-Cola!

If you're interested in entering a Mentos and soda pop contest, watch the whole video!

What's great about this video is that they aren't just showing off the cool effect of Diet Coke and Mentos: They have recreated the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas!

Keep this in mind next time you eat a pack of Mentos and then chug a bottle of Diet Coke. It probably won't kill you, but you might end up looking like one of those fountains!

Are you oppressed by the shame and regret of hooking up with an undesirable or embarrassing woman? Join the Order of the Serpentine, a sacred brotherhood helping young men overcome the shame caused by questionable hook-ups.

Still not quite sure what the Order of the Serpentine is about? Check out the Order's recruitment ads, including the kid-friendly Serpee mascot! If you've got more time on your hands, check out the four-part Special Report that a news agency conducted on the Order of the Serpentine.

The Order of the Serpentine is a site maintained by Axe because the cleansing ritual requires that you use Axe Snake Peel to exfoliate the shame and regret from your skin.

Happy Independence Day . . . and along with it, of course, came the 2006 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Championship, where twenty or so contestants see who can eat the most hot dogs and buns (known as HDBs in the competitive eating community) in a mere 12 minutes.

There was speculation that America might win the title back from Japanese speed-eater Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi. Even such a speculation was big news in the speed-eating world, considering Kobayashi's previous five victories. From 2001 through 2005, Kobayashi won by 19, 24.5, 20, 15.5, and then 12 hot dogs and buns. This May, however, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut beat the American record by eating 50 HDBs in 12 minutes. Granted, this didn't beat Kobayashi's record, but it did beat his 2005 Nathan's contest performance of 49 HDBs. Point is, the Americans have caught up.

Nonetheless, Kobayashi proved that he is still the champion, even under pressure. Not only did he win, but he broke his previous record by ¼ of a HDB. Still, Kobayashi's lead was not so comfortable this year. He won by a mere 1¾: Kobayashi's 53¾ HDBs to Chestnut's 52 HDBs.

Chestnut now easily holds the American record, however. He stole the record from Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas, who still holds the female record at 37. (She tied her 2005 performance this year.)

I'd remind you not to invite any of the competitive eaters over to your house for your 4th of July hot dog cookout, but I'm sure they've already got plans anyway.