The Smarmy Carny

It's Cyber Monday, and that means that the online retailers (or "e-tailers") have set out their best deals today to try and compete with the Black Friday deals you may have missed.

Check out a selection of the Cyber Monday deals at The Black Friday Podcast. You can also get links to additional information on Cyber Monday sites there as well.

So if there's any money left in your pocket after going crazy on Black Friday, be sure to check out the Cyber Monday specials today before they're all sold out!

Happy Thanksgiving week! That also means that Black Friday is this Friday.

If you haven't started preparing already, be sure to take a look at the various ads and get ready for all the big sales! Here are some sites and forums to help you get your Black Friday strategy set:

• The Black Friday Podcast (site operational, but the podcast is coming in 2008)
• GottaDeal (and forums)
• Black Friday Ads (and forums)
• SlickDeals (and forums)
• DealTaker (and forums)

Spend time with family, stuff yourself silly, and be sure to rest up in preparation for Black Friday!

It's National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day!

If you don't know what to order from the pizzeria today, you're probably just not paying attention.

So call up your local pizzeria and ask for a large pie with:

• pepperoni
• sausage
• mushrooms
• extra cheese
• bacon
• onions
• ground beef
• ham
• chicken
• green peppers
• red peppers
• jalapeno peppers
• tomatoes
• garlic
• black olives
• green olives
• pineapple
• salami
• prosciutto
• turkey
• artichoke hearts
• feta cheese
• spinach
• oranges
• oregano
• capers

. . . but don't ask for anchovies!

In the spirit of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, why not ask yourself, "What's My Pirate Name?"

My pirate name is Mad Dog Roberts. According to the quiz, this is because I'm "part crazy, part mangy, all rabid, I'm the pirate all the others fear might just snap soon.

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day, matey!

I've always been more of a ninja guy myself, but today is the day to let loose and talk like a pirate!

If you need help talking like a pirate, read the how to or just use the English-to-Pirate Translator

Eccentric Holidays

International Talk Like a Pirate Day be th' most popular bizarre holiday in existence. Fer more bizarre holidays, check ou' th' Eccentric Holidays calendar. Jus' click th' calendar button here and ye be set!

For Black Friday, I didn't sleep at all that morning, but since I had decided not to spend a shocking amount of money, I didn't spend all day in line, either.

Here's the rundown on my stops. I won't go into detail about what I bought, as I have already mentioned that I didn't go for any outrageously good deals this year.

• Thanksgiving night: Purchased one item on Amazon.com and one item on BestBuy.com.
• 1:00 - 3:00: Researched all stores in the area one last time. Printed a shopping list. Printed a list of stores nearby and sorted them by opening times. Created a plan for which stores to visit in which order.
• 3:00: Showered and packed.
• 4:00: Left the house.
• 4:30: Arrived at Toys R Us in preparation for the 5:00 opening.
• 4:59: Toys R Us doors opened.
• 5:17: Left Toys R Us with our two items.
• 5:19: Drove by Wal-Mart and found the parking lot completely full. Kept driving.
• 5:20: Arrived at Target in preparation for the 6:00 opening.
• 5:55: Left my wife in line as police blocked out the line skippers.
• 5:58: Arrived at RadioShack on foot.
• 6:00: RadioShack and Target doors opened.
• 6:00: Searched RadioShack for a cheap, unwanted tripod. Waited for sales assistants who seemed to consistently ask people next to me if they needed help before wandering far away to help them.
• 6:14: Finally told that tripods were "probably over there in the small camera section" that I had already looked in.
• 6:17: Found another man looking for the same item, but he gave up and checked out with his dozen other items.
• 6:25: My wife left Target with our two items.
• 6:30: Finally caught a RS associate who informed me that they had 0 of that item. Left RadioShack.
• 6:35: Arrived at second RadioShack. Immediately asked if I needed help and shown the tripods, though the associate had no idea which tripod was the one on sale. Luckily, I knew.
• 6:45: Left RadioShack with two items (including a $7 impulse buy.)
• 6:55: Arrived at K-Mart for intended clothing purchases.
• 7:39: Left K-Mart with various clothing items.
• 7:47: Arrived at BJ's Wholesale Club.
• 8:28: Left BJ's Wholesale Club with various items.
• 8:30: Called it a Black Friday and headed home.
• Saturday: Purchased an item from CompUSA.com.

So, that sums up the morning on Black Friday 2006. Did anyone else have anything more exciting happen to them?

For the latest Black Friday posts and other stores posted earlier, check out blackfriday.smarmycarny.com

It's go time for Black Friday specials, Black Friday deals, and Black Friday sales!

On Thanksgiving, you won't have any trouble at all finding Black Friday ads right in your newspaper. Nonetheless, the Black Friday Shopping List feature at GottaDeal is certainly worth using. Plus, it's sometimes easier to spot the deals you want in a text-based list instead of a busy Black Friday ad. In addition to previously posted stores, even more are available now:

• CompUSA — Opening Thanksgiving night this year, even earlier than last year's midnight opening! Don't get caught off guard!
• Big Lots
• Disney Store
• Express
• Home Depot
• J&R
• Lane Bryant
• Meijer
• Office Depot
• Old Navy
• Ritz Camera
• ShopKo
• Diet.com — Even Diet.com has a half-price Black Friday special this year: 1 DAY ONLY: Get 50% off a 1-year Diet.com Premium Membership. Enter FRIDAY at checkout. Offer good only on orders placed on 11/24/06.