The Smarmy Carny

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!

Spider-Mike Tyson didn't do so well last night against McBride. With his spider-sense, you'd think he would have done better.

Multiple news stories suggest that this may mark the end of Tyson's career, but an article on sportinglife.com notes that Tyson is in severe debt ($35M according to boxinginsider.com) and may not be able to retire so easily due to financial reasons. (For a great satirical piece, be sure to read TheBrushback.com's news piece titled "Identity Thief Disappointed To Get Mike Tyson's Identity."

For me, it was funny when Tyson was knocking people out after mere seconds. Is he that good, was the other guy that bad, or are the bookies just that influential? It then got much, much worse and pitiful after the Earvander Holyfield incident. And then, of course, came the recent Spider-Man claim.

It's definitely "the end" for Tyson whether he retires or not. Still, as long as thousands are willing to pay $45 to watch the fight on television, I guess we'll just wait for him to become a vegatable, if that hasn't already happened.

I've got to admit, though, that if it weren't for Tyson, we never would have gotten to play "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!"

Tyson went down faster than Igby. And no, I don't expect you to "get" that one. And no, it's not a dirty reference.

No comment.

I have seen Star Wars III, but I'm no Star Wars geek. (I'm a different type of geek.)

Regardless of your thoughts on Star Wars, you really must view The Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes. As I'm sure you are aware, there are plenty of Star Wars nerds and geeks out there who await the next Star Wars con so they can dress up as their favorite Star Wars character, regardless of whether their body shape happens to coincide with the character or not. Granted, most of the homemade costumes you see at cons are often pitiful, especially considering the hours you can be sure went into making them.

I haven't laughed this hard in a week or so. Be sure to keep with it, as there are a string of so-so pictures followed by some truly great entertainment.

If you want to laugh at more Star Wars nerds and geeks, watch the classic Triumph the Insult Comic Dog clip where he visits the nerds standing in line for days waiting for the premiere. That one always gets me rolling, too.

If you've got a few minutes, take the time to read through a story titled crazy eBay mom. Don't care to read? That's fine, because there are plenty of pictures.

This guy gives us a sort of a pictoral walking tour of his mother's home, where he lives. This woman puts my mom to shame in the "packrat" category. She has basically filled up the entire house with boxes and other various items. The sink is covered by boxes. One shower has boxes in it. Closet doors remain unopenable because of blocking boxes. There are only three remaining seats left in the house.

Prepare to be amazed.

This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions.

The only episodes of American Idol that I watch (or half-watch, to be accurate) are the audition episodes. Psychodiva Mary Roche (aka Mary Guilbeaux and sometimes written "Mary Roche") was the final contestant shown on last night's show. Basically she acted a little strange (a bit Canadian, if you ask me) and did some standard awful singing, self-described as "pop rock meets broadway meets jazz and R&B". The judges then hand it over to Simon to explain to her that she is one of the worst they have ever heard. This prompted Mary to later say "The fact that they said that . . . that doesn't make me want to pursue any kind of singing career." I really don't think she understands that this really was their goal.
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