The Smarmy Carny

Here is the last batch of movies that are the third of three in its series:

• Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles: D Didn't we already see this movie? In the original, he goes to NYC and says the "That's not a knife" line. This time he goes to the west coast, where the jokes are exactly the same.
• Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: A+ This was a great sequel with stellar perfoemances from Harrison Ford and Sean Connery.
• Ocean's Thirteen B- This is a sequel of a sequel of a remake. It's more or less the same plot as before. But as long as it makes money, we'll keep seeing it.
• Star Wars—Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: B I enjoyed watching this dark chapter to the Star Wars saga, despite Hayden Christensen who seemed to be fresh out of the Keanu Reeves acting school when he showed up for Episode II.
• Star Wars—Episode VI: Return of the Jedi: B+ This movie tied up the entire plot, and Vader was taken care of in a semi-respectable manner. On the other hand, Ewoks abound in this movie. There was a huge uproar over Jar Jar with Episode I, but he paled in comparison to the annoying Ewoks.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which third in a trilogy movies do you wish were included that I didn't cover in these four posts?

This week's picture is a fun little forum picture that has been passed around.

With membership numbers decreasing due to the bad publicity in the Star Wars movies, it seems that the Dark Side has a new marketing strategy. Now, it seems that they are attempting to foster a more positive image amongst preschool children.

An innocent marketing strategy, or preying on the youth of this country? You decide.

This post has been re-posted at Random Fodder, Novac's personal blog.

I'm embarassed to say that I haven't seen any of the Oscar-nominated films in any of the major categories this year. Such is life with two small children and few babysitters.

The most major category that I have seen a nominated film in is for original screenplay: Match Point. If it hadn't been Woody Allen, I wouldn't have seen that, either.

The other categories in which I have seen films? Art direction, costume design, makeup, sound editing, sound mixing, and visual effects. I have seen every movie in the visual effects category, and two of the three were a couple of my least favorite movies of 2005.

King Kong was simply unbearable. If I find out that one of my friends is going to rent King Kong, I'm going to schedule a dentist appointment instead. Horrendous. And then there's War of the Worlds . . . popcorn movie from start to finish. This is a great movie for radio and also for movie special effects teams, but it just doesn't make for an exciting movie.

The nominated movies I have seen are Match Point, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, King Kong, War of the Worlds, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Star Wars: Episode III. I know, I know . . . not the highest quality selection of 2005, but when half your movies are intended for children under 8, what are you to do? Still, I was quite pleased with Charlie and the Chocoalte Factory and The Chronicles of Narnia. Match Point was good, except that we've already seen this Woody Allen story as just a portion of the superior Crimes and Misdemeanors. Star Wars III was my favorite SW prequel. Harry Potter, King Kong, and Tom Cruise can all just go away.

The Razzie

Now that the real nominations have been presented, allow me to give you the scoop on the Razzie nominations.

If you're not familiar with the Razzies yet, the Razzie is an award given as a sort of anti-Oscar for the worst achievements in film.

Some may remember that I was upset about the Razzie's blatant political agenda last year, but with the lack of any popular political mockumentaries, the same problem couldn't have been repeated.

And the Razzie nominees are . . .

Worst Picture

• Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
• Dirty Love
• Dukes of Hazzard
• House of Wax
• Son of the Mask

Worst Director

• John Asher – Dirty Love
• Uwe Boll – Alone in the Dark
• Jay Chandrasekhar – The Dukes of Hazzard
• Nora Ephron – Bewitched
• Lawrence Gutterman – Son of the Mask

Worst Actor

• Tom Cruise – War of the Worlds
• Will Ferrell – Bewitched and Kicking & Screaming
• Jamie Kennedy – Son of the Mask
• The Rock – Doom
• Rob Schneider – Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Worst Actress

• Jessica Alba – Fantastic Four and Into the Blue
• Hilary Duff – Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and The Perfect Man
• Jennifer Lopez – Monster in Law
• Jenny McCarthy – Dirty Love
• Tara Reid – Alone in the Dark

Worst Supporting Actor

• Hayden Christensen – Star Wars III
• Alan Cumming – Son of the Mask
• Bob Hoskins – Son of the Mask
• Eugene Levy – Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and The Man
• Burt Reynolds – The Dukes of Hazzard and The Longest Yard

Worst Supporting Actress

• Carmen Electra – Dirty Love
• Paris Hilton – House of Wax
• Katie Holmes – Batman Begins
• Ashlee Simpson – Undiscovered
• Jessica Simpson – The Dukes of Hazzard

Worst Screenplay

• Bewitched – Nora Ephron, Delia Ephron & Adam McKay
• Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo – Rob Schneider, David Garrett & Jason Ward
• Dirty Love – Jenny McCarthy
• The Dukes of Hazzard – John O'Brien
• Son of the Mask – Lance Khazei

Worst Remake Or Sequel

• Bewitched
• Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
• Dukes of Hazzard
• House of Wax
• Son of the Mask

If you thirst for more horrible movies from 2005, check out IMDB's Worst of 2005 list, based on votes by IMDB members.

Luke, I am your DJ

Did you know that Darth Vader worked part time as a DJ weekends before he started the Death Star project? I heard he got his start at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

Watch the "Keltech Strikes Back" video. If you have trouble with that link, try the mirror instead.

The man behind the mask is Keltech, who goes by "DJ Daft Fader" while playing this one. According to his site, he performed this live at the Technics World DMC DJ Championships 2005 UK heats. Check out the Keltech and Johnny B homepage for more information.

Daddy Vader

Burger King is running a site that allows you to challenge Darth Vader to a game of 20 Questions.

It took Darth over 20 questions, but I believe he got it within 30. On my second item, he never guessed it. On my third item, he didn't guess it until he gave me a list of items it might be.

I almost forgot to warn you: Prepare yourself for another spooky cameo of that King mascot. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Still, I'd have to say that Subservient Chicken still beats this one out.

Daddy Vader

Pixel Red has released Anakin's Switch Commercial. It's good times, and it's short. For those not in the know, it's a spoof on Apple's "Switch" campaign. If you haven't seen Apple's commercials yet, you might want to watch a couple first just to get the idea.

As a side note, using Apples may be unsafe for your sanity. That said, here's Apple's official Switch page, for anyone who is curious.