The Smarmy Carny

Daddy Vader

Pixel Red has released Anakin's Switch Commercial. It's good times, and it's short. For those not in the know, it's a spoof on Apple's "Switch" campaign. If you haven't seen Apple's commercials yet, you might want to watch a couple first just to get the idea.

As a side note, using Apples may be unsafe for your sanity. That said, here's Apple's official Switch page, for anyone who is curious.

"Fantasy Ranch"

There's a bit of discussion out there regarding Burger King's new ad, "Fantasy Ranch."

Despite all the discussion, no one seems to know what to make of this ad. Watch the full commercial and judge for yourself.

Personally, I love it, and I'll tell you why.

• First, the song uses the tune from Harry "Haywire Mac" McClintock's "Big Rock Candy Mountain," which I immediately recognized from the soundtrack. This song is so addictive, it's unbelievable. Without this song, the commercial doesn't have much behind it.
• Hootie's Darius Rucker sings this addictive song. Get a pop rocker to sing an old western. It works every time.
• Subservient Chicken! W00t! The subservient chicken has a cameo in this commercial. (If you don't know who SC is, he's the big chicken in the commercial. D'oh!) Crispin Porter + Bogusky is the agency behind this commercial, and they also are the ones who headed up the SubservientChicken.com site. If you haven't ever checked that out, drop what you're doing, go there, experience Subservient Chicken, and then come back and finish reading.
• Subtle double entendres punctuate the song. Most people won't catch these as they mindlessly watch. For instance, lines sung with models on the screen are "the breasts grow on trees" and "there's a train of ladies with a nice caboose." Dirty as it may be, that's wit you just don't get often in today's culture.

Clearly, commercials like this are not aimed at pleasing everyone. Many people will form a love/hate relationship with the commercial, and many others will hate it wholeheartedly. I can accept that. The commercial still rules!

Just a quick note: One thing I categorically hate, however, is that King in the weird-looking mask. Appearing at a Kings game as their mascot? Acceptable. Appearing in a Burger King commercial? Nauseating.

Update: I just stumbled on The Impulsive Buy's article on this commercial. If you've never been to the site, check it out. It's good times.

Relaxed Football

Ever watch an NFL game and think "I could do that, if only there wasn't such a focus on physical requirements, running, etc."? Me too, but then I just go ahead and finish off my Smores Blasted E.L. Fudge cookies until I drift off to sleep.

This hilarious commercial is much better than I was expecting it to be.

What if an entire football team were given muscle relaxants right before a game?

Hilarity ensues.

Burt = Celebrity

I simply have to weigh in on my favorite Super Bowl commercials from tonight. Overall, there were a few great commercials and plenty of fodder. I would have to say that this year's selection did not live up to many of the past years' ads. I can remember years where most of these top five selections wouldn't have even made it to the Honorable Mention section! Still, you take what you can get. If the ad title has a link, you can click it to watch the video. You may also view many ads at USA Today by clicking on the AdMeter tab. (The page doesn't work in Firefox, blame USA Today!) Thanks to The Irish Trojan's Blog for that extra link.

Here are the five best commercials in my opinion. I'll start with my favorite of favorites and work from there:

1. FedEx / Kinko's, 10 Keys to the Best Super Bowl Commercial (2nd link): From celebrities to animals to attractive girls, FedEx really does a great job of poking fun at the stereotypical Super Bowl advertisement.
2. Ameriquest, Don't Judge: You're Being Robbed (2nd link): These silly hands-free cellphone kits cause problems for an unsuspecting convenience store shopper.
3. Bud Light, Parachuting (2nd link): This typical comic Bud Light ad does not disappoint. Bud ads like this are great because they can easily be talked about around the water cooler the next day, and they usually are.
4. Anheuser-Busch, Thanks (2nd and 3rd links): Everyone in an airport terminal stand and applaud American soldiers arriving back in the States. Very simple, very classy, very touching.
5. Olympus, New Groove Machine (2nd link): Some interesting CGI in this commercial has people dancing in a weird fashion. Not exactly Monkey-Matrix moves, but just as cool. I haven't seen any CGI this much fun since the recent HP Photo commercials.

Five more commercials earning honorable mention (in no particular order, this time):

• McDonald's, Lincoln Fry (2nd link): This commercial pokes fun at all those people who find objects of food that look like things or people.
• Anheuser Busch, While You Were Out (2nd link): Another good Bud Light commercial. Two guys use their cameraphone to try to harass a buddy who had turned down tickets for the big game.
• Emerald of California, The Truth: A father lies to his daughter about Santa and the Easter Bunny (being fake) so he can avoid sharing his food.
• Ameriquest, Don't Judge: Cat (2nd link): Another Ameriquest "Don't Judge" commercial. This time the confusion comes from a pesky cat bothering a husband's dinner preparations.
• GoDaddy.com, FCC Panel: A buxom girl in a skimpy shirt tries to pass her commercial by the FCC decency panel. Here is a link for the slightly different banned version. In fact, here's two minutes of the full hearing coverage.

Dishonorable mention grand prize goes out to Cosentino USA's "I am Diana Pearl" spot featuring Ditka, Rodman, Perry, and McMahon. I'll never get that 30 seconds back again. As if the commercial wasn't sad and boring enough, not only did we have to hear celebrities repeating "I am Diana Pearl," but you only hear three of them repeating it over and over and over. Runners-up are all of Fox's promos for 24, The Simple Life, and whatever else. We know you have other shows. We don't care. We want you to rake in the additional money and give us more content! If nothing else, at least make the promos worthy of the Super Bowl, and not the exact same clips that we see at 2 am. Second runner-up dishonorable mention goes to Cialis. Yes, I really needed to hear about yet another erectile disfunction product. The commercial was made interesting only by the phrase "Erections lasting longer than four hours, though rare . . . "