The Smarmy Carny

Which minor Seinfeld characters do you enjoy? I left Newman out because he appeared in 47 episodes. That's a step beyond minor, in my book.

• George Steinbrenner: C- George Costanza could never get Steinbrenner to fire him. Steinbrenner's face is never seen on the show. Larry David did his voice, so there's an extra point right there.
• J. Peterman: A- Elaine's boss made her do all sorts of things just to keep her job. Perhaps it was watching Elaine's awful dance that caused John O'Hurley to host Dancing with the Stars. (And read the interesting story about the post-Seinfeld John O'Hurley and J. Peterman.)
• Susan Ross: C George's poor fiancée who died licking the poisonous wedding invitation envelopes that George bought.
• The Soup Nazi: A No soup for you! The Soup Nazi is probably the best minor Seinfeld character. Not only is he one of the most well known characters from the show, he only appeared in two episodes.
• Uncle Leo: B Uncle Leo was annoying, but at least he was good at it. He'd always talk about his son Jeffrey, who was never seen on-air.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? I'm sure there are a few characters that people would like to see: Which minor Seinfeld characters do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

There are two types of people in the world: Moe people, Larry people, Curly people, and people who can't count very well.

• Moe: A- The leader, the (relatively) smart one, and the bully. Viewers always wanted to smack the sense into Larry and Curly, and Moe's the one who did it.
• Larry: B Larry always seemed like the comedic third wheel. Slapstick is fun, but pulling your hair out for the twentieth time isn't.
• Curly: A Curly always stole the scene as the dimwitted, naive, and lovable goof ball. Plus, he was built for the part.
• Shemp: B Shemp often gets the bad rap as being the "Curly replacement," but he was actually one of the original Three Stooges before his brother Curly replaced him. (After Curly's stroke, he returned to the group.) Though Shemp was by far no Curly character, his chemistry with Moe and Larry was always a great fit.
• Curly-Joe: D Once Shemp was out, The Three Stooges just weren't the same.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? What do you wish was included that I didn't cover here?

Springfield, Vermont has been announced the Simpsons' home state in a vote organized by USA Today. It will host the official premiere for The Simpsons Movie on July 21.

The Simpsons' mystery home state has long been a running gag in the series. For instance, Marge once gave their address over the phone as "742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, Oh-hiya Maude, come on in!," leading the audience to falsely believe that Ohio was about to be named the home state.

According to some research posted on The Simpsons Archive, there are 71 Springfields in 36 states. Each of the following 14 Springfields submitted a video promoting their own Springfield as the home to The Simpsons:

• Springfield, Colorado
• Springfield, Florida
• Springfield, Illinois
• Springfield, Kentucky
• Springfield, Louisiana
• Springfield, Massachusetts
• Springfield, Michigan
• Springfield, Missouri
• Springfield, Nebraska
• Springfield, New Jersey
• Springfield, Ohio
• Springfield, Oregon
• Springfield, Tennessee
• Springfield, Vermont

See the promotional videos from each of these Springfields at USA Today. The other towns will be rewarded with screenings of The Simpsons Movie the night before the movie opens nationwide.

America owns gluttony again!

In 2006, there was speculation that Joey "Jaws" Chestnut had a chance to beat Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, who is the man when it comes to eating competitions. After all, Chestnut was the first American to break the 50 HDB (hot dog and bun) mark in 12 minutes. Chestnut ate 52 HDBs but still fell short in 2006, losing to Kobayashi by just 1¾ HDBs.

This year, however, the record was shattered yet again at the 2007 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Championship. The record of 53¾ HDBs in 12 minutes was set last year by Kobayashi. It was decimated as Chestnut ate 66 HDBs in 12 minutes. That's an average of 5.5 HDBs each minute, or one hot dog every 11 seconds!

Kobayashi recently had a wisdom tooth removed, but still broke his own record by eating 63 HDBs. He said he'll be back next year for a rematch.

The top six eaters all broke their personal records this year. Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas upped her personal best and raised the women's record by downing 39 HDBs in 12 minutes.

As usual this July 11th (7-11), you can stroll into participating 7-11 stores for your free 7.11 oz Slurpee. While supplies last — "supplies" being the tiny cups. (I'll warn you that if you have to go far out of your way, it's not worth it due to the size of the cup.)

Something much more interesting is happening at a dozen 7-11 stores around the country: They are transforming into Kwik-E-Marts, the convenience store run by The Simpsons' own Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. From the logo on the store to the products inside, The Simpsons will rule the store. You can get a Squishee, the Simpsons version of the ever-popular Slushee. Also available are Buzz! Cola, Krusty-Os cereal, and Radioactive Man comic #711. Sorry, no Duff available, and you can't eat my shorts, either!

7-11s in the following locations will turn into Kwik-E-Marts for a limited time:

• Burbank, CA
• Chicago, IL
• Dallas, TX
• Denver, CO
• Lake Buena Vista, FL/Orlando, FL
• Las Vegas, NV/Henderson, NV
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York City, NY
• San Francisco, CA/Mountain View, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Vancouver, BC/Coquitlam, BC
• Washington, DC/Bladensburg, MD

To find out which 7-11 in each city gets the transformation, head over to the Kwik-E-Mart page.

You can also register for a chance to be animated in The Simpsons Movie.

Just like last year, this season's final episode of My Name Is Earl included another inside joke for the Spanish-speaking public.

Earl visits multiple people in a desperate attempt to find a positive character witness for Joy. After failing with one of her old friends, her minister, and a celebrity, Earl tries to convince Catalina to be a character witness despite the abuse that Joy has heaped on Catalina.

Joy responds by saying the following sentences in Spanish:

Gracias por ver nuestro programa. Los vamos a extrañar este verano. ¿No te parece cómico que Earl piensa que yo le estoy diciéndole cuánto yo odio a Joy pero en realidad yo les estoy diciéndole cuánto los quiero?

Since the only understandable portions of the speech are "Earl" and "Joy," the non-Spanish-speaking audience is left to believe that Catalina goes on a brief tirade about Joy and her lack of character.

What Joy really said, however, was much more fun:

Thank you for watching our program. We are going to miss you this summer. Don't you think it's funny that Earl thinks I'm telling him how much I hate Joy when in reality I'm telling you how much I love you all?

The show has included a few Spanish language jokes from Catalina. Check out the My Name Is Earl category for the others.

Despite rumors (or April Fools' jokes) that Lost would be cancelled early, ABC and Lost producers announced that Lost will be on the air for three more 16-episode seasons, when the series and the storyline will end in 2010.

At the producers' request, ABC provided the solid end date so that the storyline could be timed out evenly. Making your storyline last 16 episodes is a whole lot different than making it last 48.

This announcement is also welcome news to television fans who have been disillusioned by several series' premature cancellation with no resolution, which happened to fans of Invasion, Kidnapped, Surface, Drive, and Daybreak.