This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions.
The seventh episode took place in Boston. A few more wacky auditions from the Bostonian freaks trying to get onto American Idol 5.
Here is the list of the most interesting auditions from this American Idol 5 audition episode:
- Curt Doble, a.k.a. the GWAR Guys/Duct Tape Warriors #11464 (both had the same number) — The lead GWAR singer is shown singing the mandatory "Joy to the World" (Jeremiah was a bullfrog). He sings "And he always has some mighty fine wine," accompanied by a "Yeah!" from the background GWAR singer. Later, we see him sing the line "Joy to the world!" with a fist in the air, followed by "Line!?" Check out his MySpace profile.
- James Yokley Jr. #10315 — James came out and rapped for a short while. Unimpressed, the judges asked him to sing something. He butchered "Lean on Me," and Simon responded, "That's why he rapped." James may have been rapping for 10 years, but he won't be doing it in Hollywood on American Idol. James is later spotted in the "Joy to the World" (Jeremiah was a Bullfrog) montage, where he switches from the chorus to the Christmas song "Joy to the World."
- Irada Jaforda #12117 — Irada entered the audition with a long, buttoned sweater and a bright red flower in her hair. As she started to "sing" "Unbreak My Heart," she unbuttoned the sweater so it was fully open in the front. (She had another shirt on underneath.) Fully unimpressed, Randy had to find out what else she was capable of. Irada started singing "Chain of Fools" as she removed the sweater and let it drop to the floor. She then attempted to remove the flower and let her hair down, but the flower got stuck, and she was forced to let the flower hang there, upside down, in her hair. She also gave a couple half-gyrations. Irada then transitioned into several different songs, ending with "How Do I Live Without You?" Simon stopped her and told her that everything about the audition was horriffic. Irada snatched up her sweater and other items and rushed out without a word.
- Laurence Soares #11568 — Laurence sang C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat," ("Everybody Dance Now!") including some pseudo-beatboxing as well. As intended (I assume), Laurence had Paula and Randy cracking up. Poor Laurence is later seen stuck in line with Clay Aiken-lookalike Michael Sandecki. (See below.) Honestly, out of all the jerks and losers we saw on the seven audition episodes, this guy would be my friend. Check out CrazLarry's MySpace page.
- Alison Laverdiere #14090 — Alison operatically sang "Everybody's Working for the Weekend." The highlight of the audition was Alison pointing at the judges and clearly articulating the line "You want a piece of my heart?" Simon said that "there is a real lack of understanding here today."
- Rebecca O'Donahue #11588 — Rebecca and her twin sister showed up looking like models. Due to emergency surgery on a cyst in her vocal chords, her sister was not able to sing. Rebecca sang "Black Velvet," but she didn't sing it well. We did get to see Rebecca's sister sitting against the wall, mouthing the words and mimicing Rebecca's gestures. Nonetheless, Paula and Randy passed her on looks alone. Watch Rebecca's audition.
- Tatiana Ward #11447 — Tatiana wanted to prove something to her grandmother, who had disowned Tatiana's mother when she married a black man. After singing, Tatiana quickly switched gears to "Suck-up" by asking Randy if her flattering his sweater would help her chances. She told Randy that he resembled her (sexy?) father. She then clarified that Paula was the sexiest, but Randy was the hottest. She moved down the judge's bench by telling Simon that she absolutely loved his accent. Paula finally cut her off by saying "OK, enough!" Simon started by saying that she reminded him of a pet poodle he used to have. Paula was disappointed in her choice of song because it didn't show her full range, but she said that she chose it because she thought that Randy would respect her for it. Paula and Randy pushed Tatiana through to the second round.
- Kenneth Maccarone #12709 — Kenneth's song was "Believe" by Cher. Not only did he sing "Believe," but he basically did a Cher impersonation. As soon as named his song and started singing, Simon dropped his head, Paula started giggling, and Randy started chuckling. After singing, he also mentioned that he could do Judy Garland as well. Simon, as with any men singing in a woman's voice, suggested the female impersonation profession, to which Kenneth said, "Absolutely not." Kenneth doesn't mind singing like Cher in front of millions of people, but refuses to cross-dress. Simon told him that he had two choices: "Sound like a female, look like a man or sound like a female and dress like a female." Kenneth argued that Cher didn't have a female voice. "Well, Simon, if we're going based on what people do and what people say, then why aren't you on the backside of a pair of jeans?" Paula, hiding behind her hands, gave a subtle thumbs-up, and Randy clapped and said "Woah! Very good!" Finally, they voted and Simon declared, "Cher, you are not going to Hollywood." Watch the Kenneth Maccarone (a.k.a. Cher) audition video.
- Kevin Covais #10182 — Kevin sang Josh Grobin's "You Raise Me Up," and he sang it well. Still, he looked like a little pipsqueak with a bad haircut. Paula, astounded by the singing, referred to him as relatable because he was an underdog. Simon asked why she thought he was an underdog. Paula replied by saying, "Honestly, you don't look like the next American Idol would look, but that didn't hurt Clay Aiken." Simon sighed and replied, "A bit rude." Watch Kevin's audition video.
- Michael Sandecki # — Seacrest refers to Michael as "Boston's most annoying man." Michael had also gone out of his way to try and look like the pre-American Idol Clay Aiken. Poor Laurence Soares (see above) is stuck next to the obnoxious freak in line, and suggests that he turn it down just a little tad. Michael replies, "I don't have a down button. It just goes even more hyper." Laurence tells the camera, "If I have to stand next to him the whole time, I'm gonna go insane." Michael horribly belts out "In the Still of the Night." Simon noted that, obviously, Michael was going for the Clay Aiken look but didn't sound like him, and told him that "You got the bad side of the bargain here." After getting two No's from the judges, Michael said, "Actually, I really can sing, it's just I'm nervous as hell, and I gotta pee." Simon set him a challenge to go pee, come back, and sing again. Set to the Chariots of Fire music, we get to see slow-motion footage of Michael running to the bathroom, flushing the urinal, drying his hands, and running back into the audition room. Simon cut him off before he could say anything and instructed him to just start singing. Six words later, Simon told him that it made him worse.
- Mickey Mouse Singer #Unknown — A woman in a pink shirt sang M-I-C-K-E-Y in a loud, horrible voice. She even held up a pretend microphone to her mouth. Good times.
- "Joy to the World" Singer #10574 — This Three Dog Night classic (Jeremiah was a bullfrog) was apparently the mandatory song for this round. Thus, in the montage, we don't see the singers' names. 10574 referred to his performance as a "rendition," clasped his hands together, and delivered the opening line in spoken word format. See it here.
This post will be updated as pictures and video clips are available online, so bookmark this page or the American Idol page.