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	<title>The Smarmy Carny &#187; Crackpots</title>
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		<title>Casey Sheehan&#039;s Tombstone Arrives</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/05/29/sheehan-headstone/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/05/29/sheehan-headstone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 May 2006 12:00:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Army]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crackpots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deaths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iraq]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/05/29/sheehan-headstone/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In April, I wrote about the fact that Casey Sheehan&#039;s headstone had not yet been installed, even two years after Casey&#039;s death. Just in time for Memorial Day, Casey&#039;s headstone was installed on May 25, 2006. Happily, since Casey&#039;s father Patrick took over the task a couple months ago, plans for the headstone finally started [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sheehan&#039;s Accountability Moment</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/04/29/sheehan-tombstone/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/04/29/sheehan-tombstone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Apr 2006 02:20:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/04/29/sheehan-tombstone/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Casey&#039;s grave As most of us have heard by now, Casey Sheehan, the mechanic from the Army&#039;s First Calvary Division, was killed in combat on 4/4/4. The nation is aware of Casey&#039;s death due to his mother, Cindy Sheehan, and her continuous anti-Bush, anti-Iraq ranting in the months leading up to and since the 2004 [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Darwin Awards</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/03/18/darwin-awards/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/03/18/darwin-awards/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Mar 2006 03:53:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crackpots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deaths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deprecation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Literature]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Saturday's Simpleton]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/03/18/darwin-awards/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Inspired by the death today of the Saturday&#039;s Simpleton theme, I remembered one of the best resources for simpletons: the Darwin Awards. By now, most people are familiar with the Darwin Awards. If you&#039;re one of the few who are still unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, here&#039;s the official explanation: In the spirit of Charles [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Crystal Parizanski</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/01/21/crystal-parizanski/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/01/21/crystal-parizanski/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Jan 2006 16:57:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Idol]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deprecation]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Hilarious]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reality Shows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Saturday's Simpleton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Television]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/01/21/crystal-parizanski/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions. Crystal Parizanski Thanks to the first week of American Idol auditions, this Saturday&#039;s Simpleton is Crystal Parizanski. Crystal Parizanski was, I think, going for the Britney Spears look, but with a &#034;make-up tan,&#034; it wasn&#039;t going to cut it. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2006/01/21/crystal-parizanski/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Astrologer Dies . . . of Anticipation</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/10/20/astrologer-death-2/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/10/20/astrologer-death-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Oct 2005 20:28:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=314</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In a stunning turn of events, an astrologer was incorrect when he predicted his death today between 3pm and 4pm in India. Of course, Kunjilal Malviya was quoted as rationalizing the fact that he was still living: &#034;Thanks to the good wishes of villagers and the prayers of people, I survived the pernicious moment to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/10/20/astrologer-death-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Will the Astrologer Die Today?</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/10/20/astrologer-death/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/10/20/astrologer-death/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:02:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=313</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Talk about a losing bet. Kunjilal Malviya is an astrologer in India, and he predicted that he would die today. If you&#039;re right and you die . . . you were right, but you&#039;re dead. If you were wrong . . . hooray! You&#039;re alive . . . but you have to live with the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hurricane Rita, Pets, and You</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/09/21/rita-pets/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/09/21/rita-pets/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Sep 2005 23:38:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[On the 14:30 CBS News Update, one story discussed the decision to allow pets on the buses transporting people away from the hurricane zone. One woman was being interviewed and she was quite happy that she could bring her cats with her. She noted that if she was not allowed to bring her cats that [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No Wind Turbines?</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/08/29/windmills/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/08/29/windmills/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Aug 2005 00:33:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Economics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environmentalists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Liberals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taxes]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Weather]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wind]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Windmills As I was driving around through farmland and hilly landscape today, I noticed a strip of about a mile with several yellow &#034;No Wind Turbines&#034; signs posted in some lawns. The signs also had a web address for &#034;Save Upstate New York,&#034; a self-described &#034;concerned citizens&#039; group.&#034; Personally, I enjoy windmills of all sorts. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Urine Coffee</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/08/27/urine-coffee/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/08/27/urine-coffee/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Aug 2005 11:44:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Mind-Boggling]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/08/27/urine-coffee/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week&#039;s simpleton is the Thomas Shaheen. Stories about postal workers going . . . well, postal, have been fairly scarce the past few years. Instead of shooting up the place nowadays, they seem to be up to less fatal tricks. Shaheen&#039;s co-workers became suspicious of Shaheen and placed a camera in their lunchroom. Sure [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Cow Lingerie</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/30/cow-lingerie/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/30/cow-lingerie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jul 2005 03:22:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clothing]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Fashion]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=237</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Leave it to the French. The cow bra offers support for &#8212; what else &#8212; the cow&#039;s udders. And all this time, I thought cows just wore muumuus!]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/30/cow-lingerie/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Failure Is Not an Option</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/23/deferred-success/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/23/deferred-success/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Jul 2005 20:14:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/23/deferred-success/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week&#039;s simpleton is the Professional Association of Teachers. According to an AP story, the British organization PAT (Professional Association of Teachers) is going to suggest at an upcoming conference that the word &#034;fail&#034; should be replaced with &#034;deferred success.&#034; This would, they argue, avoid the demoralization of pupils. Heck, if you&#039;re simply deferring your [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mother Forces Kids in Trunk</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/16/kids-in-trunk/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/16/kids-in-trunk/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jul 2005 04:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=223</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week's simpleton is <strong>Cheryl Ann Schoonmaker</strong>.
Schoonmaker allegedly forced two of her children to take turns riding in the trunk on an eight hour drive between Alabama and Virginia.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/16/kids-in-trunk/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Flaming Engagement</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/09/flaming-engagement/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/09/flaming-engagement/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Jul 2005 04:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=212</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Todd Grannis, a 38-year-old man, climbed up a 10-foot scaffold, set his gasoline-drenched cape on fire, plunged into a swimming pool, and then proposed to his girlfriend.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/09/flaming-engagement/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Video Vednesday: The Fingertips Project</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/06/fingertips-project/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/06/fingertips-project/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jul 2005 04:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=209</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week's video is "<a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/fingertips/">The Fingertips Project</a>," a flash project put together by various members of the Animutation group.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/06/fingertips-project/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Woman Tattoos Forehead</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/02/forehead-tattoo/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/07/02/forehead-tattoo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Jul 2005 04:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Kari Smith tattooed GoldenPalace.com's address in 1-inch tall letters on her forehead for $10,000.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Thilly Thursday: Control Freak</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/30/control-freak/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/30/control-freak/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jun 2005 04:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Knock, knock! Who's there? . . . 
Also: Tom Cruise for the Xbox]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/30/control-freak/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Penguin Calls</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/20/penguin-calls/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/20/penguin-calls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2005 13:26:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Enjoy "Penguin Calls" by drewmo. He took several of his interesting voice mails and directly recorded them onto his computer. The messages are then "penguinized," which apparently means that they are acted out by animated penguins.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/20/penguin-calls/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Toad Marriage</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/17/toad-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/17/toad-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2005 22:37:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=141</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Two toads were married in Khochakandar, India a couple weekends ago.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/17/toad-marriage/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Eating Dead Babies???</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/15/eating-babies/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/15/eating-babies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jun 2005 22:29:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Abortion]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Disgusting]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=165</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A Kansas City abortionist is out of business after investigators discovered a grisly house of horrors at his clinic â€“ with fetuses kept in Styrofoam cups in his refrigerator and one employee accusing him of microwaving one and stirring it into his lunch.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Michael Jackson Not Guilty! . . . So What?</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/13/michael-jackson-innocent/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/13/michael-jackson-innocent/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:02:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Court Cases]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Mainstream Media]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Michael Jackson]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=156</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Either way, I don't care what happens with Michael Jackson. I have always compared him with the problem child who always acts up to get attention. For a great song dedicated to Michael Jackson, give a listen to Ookla the  Mok's "F. People."]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/13/michael-jackson-innocent/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://www.otmfan.com/mp3/F.%20People.mp3" length="2930688" type="audio/x-mpeg" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Your Friendly Neighborhood Mike Tyson</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/03/spider-mike/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/03/spider-mike/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Jun 2005 23:59:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Athletes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Boxing]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Mike Tyson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind-Boggling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Movies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spider-Man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/?p=138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tyson apparently approached a "suspicious-acting man" near his home recently and yelled at the man, asking him what he was doing. You'll never believe what Tyson told reporters.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/06/03/spider-mike/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Crazy eBay Mom</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/05/24/crazy-ebay-mom/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/05/24/crazy-ebay-mom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 May 2005 12:57:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Auctions]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/05/24/crazy-ebay-mom/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This guy gives us a sort of a pictoral walking tour of his mother's home, where he lives. This woman puts my mom to shame in the "packrat" category. Prepare to be amazed.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Roach Is Not Hung</title>
		<link>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/01/19/the-roach-is-not-hung/</link>
		<comments>http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/01/19/the-roach-is-not-hung/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Jan 2005 00:25:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Novac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[All]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Idol]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Deprecation]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[William Hung]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://smarmycarny.com/archives/2005/01/19/the-roach-is-not-hung/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This article has been re-posted at Idle Idols, the site for the funniest American Idol auditions. The only episodes of American Idol that I watch (or half-watch, to be accurate) are the audition episodes. Psychodiva Mary Roche (aka Mary Guilbeaux and sometimes written &#034;Mary Roche&#034;) was the final contestant shown on last night&#039;s show. Basically [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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