The Smarmy Carny

Ahh, "Mahna Mahna." Yes, it rules, and it predates "Numa Numa" by quite a while.

Mahna Mahna is so great because it's one of those pseudo-popular things . . . something you can mention by name in a crowded room and instantly grab 5 or 6 people's attention, yet something you can also mention to a dozen people who have no idea what you're talking about.

For those that don't know, Mahna Mahna is a skit that appeared on The Muppet Show back in 1976. The song itself has quite a history, but the popularized version is, of course, the Muppets' version.

Statler asks, "The question is: 'What is a "Mahna Mahna?"'"
Waldorf replies, "The question is: 'Who cares?!?'"

Watch it here:

Watch or download Mahna Mahna at Google Video.

If you're still reading this even after I've posted the link, feel free to read some of these facts here, courtesy Wikipedia:

• "Mahna Mahna" is readily available on DVD and CD!
• The song was originally written in 1968 by Piero Umiliani for the softcore documentary Svezia, Inferno e Paradiso (Sweden, Hell and Heaven).
• In 1969 it was recorded by Henri Salvador under the title "Mais Non, Mais Non."

• The Muppet Show soundtrack album featuring Mahna Mahna hit number one on the UK charts.
• A cover was performed by Cake on For The Kids, a 2002 compliation album that also features Barenaked Ladies, Sarah McLachlan, Tom Waits, Darius Rucker, Sixpence None The Richer, Guster, Five For Fighting, and Billy Bragg & Wilco. The album benefits the VH1 Save the Music Foundation.
• "Weird Al" Yankovic references the Muppets sketch in "Couch Potato."

I recently discovered that there's a new reality TV show in the works: America's Next Muppet.

ABC ordered six scripts of the reality show spoof. Nothing is confirmed yet, but I would be surprised if this show (and all the buzz it has already created) does not make it to air. Tentative dates have been projected with a summer 2006 premiere.

From what I have read (and assumed), the show will attempt to find a new addition to the Muppet crew a la America's Next Top Model and American Idol. As usual, we would also get to see the backstage preparations (read: shenanigans) for the acts.

Muppets have always been wonderful at satire, and this will no doubt be a wonderful addition to the Muppet collection. Unfortunately, sources have referred to it as a "mini-series" instead of an actual series. Then again, one could consider all of these reality shows as "mini-series" because each series is basically a different show.

I can only hope that they can get Statler and Waldorf to be Simon Cowell characters! No, I take that back because I had it backwards. Simon Cowell is the Statler and Waldorf of American Idol.

For further developments, keep your eyes glued to Muppet Central News.

Enhanced Orange?

Apparently, scientists are working overtime to enhance common colors that you and I are already familiar with.

That's how it seems, anyway, because The Homeland Security Advisory System has had some interesting twists to it due to the threats against the New York City subway system this weekend.

Now, in general, I don't have any problem with the Homeland Security Advisory System, despite many people's complaints. Let's face it — many people just don't read, listen to, or watch the news regularly, and I like the idea of a simple system for telling everyone if something is or might be going on. (In fact, this site perpetually displays the HSAS threat level in Muppet form. Just take a look at the sidebar.) More importantly, it lets the appropriate agencies know when to really buckle down and make sure they don't miss anything crucial.

Now that's not to say I don't have any problems with the system. Why in the world do we have a green level on there? We all know that no one with half a mind will use that threat level! Who's going to lower the advisory to the "Low" setting of Green? You just know that if we get attacked and the setting is Green, whoever is responsible for that is utterly screwed. So, we are currently on Yellow alert, right? Right . . . unless you're in New York City, where the status has been Orange all along. And unless you were using mass transit three months ago, when there was a raised status for mass transit only.

These, as odd as they are, are perfectly understandable. I have no issue swallowing these discrepancies, but let me mention the latest color change. Suppose a threat is made on New York's subway system, and you are riding San Francisco's BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit). What would you suppose the threat level would be? Yellow? Nope. Orange? Nope. Try this on for size:

"Enhanced Orange" That's right . . . it's certainly not Red, but it's more than Orange. It must be Enhanced Orange. BART spokesman Lynton Johnson was quoted as saying that this was not taken because of any specific threat to BART or even to San Francisco! I don't know about you, but in my book, that makes for Enhanced Yellow, at best. I guess that wasn't an option, because BART has been on Orange since the London subway bombings. Perhaps they should have gone with Enhanced Yellow back then, and then they could have bumped up to Orange now.

Bumping up your threat level because of a specific threat to a city 3,000 miles away? Maybe San Francisco just feels like they have been left out of the spotlight for a bit too long. Who knows?

I know there are only five levels because they didn't want to be changing it all the time, but when you take into account that no one is going to use the lowest one, and we seem to have been avoiding Blue as well, that leaves us with only three. Of course, Red is also observed for the "something is actually happening right now or has just happened, so start panicing" situations, which leaves us with two functional threat levels. With two functional threat levels, it's no wonder we have already started splitting these two colors up. Nonetheless, I would prefer the use of "Red-Orange" to "Enhanced Orange," since that's technically the correct term for the method. Honestly, I don't like Red-Orange, either because then you hear Red and start panicing before you even get to the "-Orange" part. I'm sure artistic folks could come up with a color that fits, though. Maybe "Tomato Soup."

Of course, I just want to hear Stone Phillips say "The terror alert level for San Francisco's BART has been raised to Tomato Soup today."

Buy it at Amazon

At long last, The Muppet Show's first season will be released tomorrow on DVD!

I have been waiting for quite a while for this show to make it to DVD. I don't know why Disney has been holding back for so long on this release, but the wait is finally over! (OK, it's not technically over until the DVD is released tomorrow, but you know what I mean.)

From what I have read online thus far, it seems Disney did a decent job at packaging these shows with some extras:

• A season 1 promo gag reel. I guarantee that this will be a riot to watch!
• The original pilot. For true Muppet fans, this is the "Sex and Violence" pilot, not the "Valentines" pilot.
• "Muppet Morsels," which is a sort of pop-up trivia while you watch. Spider-Man had this, and it was really awesome.
• The original Muppet pitch reel used to try and sell the show to television execs.
• A Jim Henson retrospective. This has got to be good. Jim Henson rules.
• A sneak peek of The Muppets' Wizard of Oz

Buy them at Amazon

I grew up having fun with The Muppet Show. Classic, classic stuff. Watching these episodes as an adult, I can appreciate many more jokes other than just the physical humor.

Yes, I realize that this "Movie Monday" post is about a television show and not a movie. My defense is that . . . you know what? Never mind. It's my blog, and I can do whatever I want. No excuses. Ahh, smell that? That's called empowerment! Nonetheless, I would like to mention that the Muppet movies are also great purchases, and those really are movies.

I must admit, I have enjoyed the movies many more times than I have enjoyed the shows, but primarily this is because the shows are so hard to come by. The movies are shown on the movie channels every so often, and you could always head out and rent it if you simply had to watch one. The television shows, however, are a bit more rare. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on this collection and watching every last bit of it! I guarantee you that the experience of watching The Muppet Show now will be a richer, more satisfying experience than when I was a kid . . . and I loved The Muppet Show as a kid!

Spongebob is F. U. N.

The TV Guide folks haven't been paying very close attention. Hopefully they are just lazy at fact-checking. After all, they are just a bunch of couch potatoes.

You may or may not have read some of the articles claiming that Dr. James Dobson (of Focus on the Family) said that SpongeBob SquarePants was a gay character. Dobson never said anything of the sort, of course. As if the usual media slander wasn't enough, even TV Guide jumped in on the game and attacked Dobson. Not only was he jeered in the Cheers & Jeers section, but the listing stands out, thanks to a large picture of SpongeBob punctuating the entry.

Here's an entry in their Cheers & Jeers section:

Jeers to Focus on the Family's founder Dr. James C. Dobson for putting the squeeze on SpongeBob SquarePants. The conservative activist claims the cartoon character promotes a "pro-homosexual" agenda. We always thought sponges were asexual creatures. Maybe Dobson found out about SpongeBob's torrid fling with Tinky Winky.

I frequently feel like writing in and replying to this sort of obfuscation, but I rarely ever do. Generally, others are more than willing to express their opinions and mail them in. This one just pushed the right buttons, though, and I decided that this time I will be one of those "others" willing to express my opinion. Clearly the author and editor(s) of the Cheers & Jeers section wasn't too interested in fact checking this week. I simply had to send in a comment to their Letters department at letters@tvguide.com. I suggest you do the same.

If you're interested in what Dr. Dobson actually said, read his article at family.org about "Setting the Record Straight." Here is an excerpt:

The video, which millions of children will soon see, features nearly 100 favorite cartoon characters that kids will instantly recognize, including not only SpongeBob, but also Barney the Dinosaur, the Muppets, Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, Winnie the Pooh, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Jimmy Neutron and Big Bird. The video itself is innocent enough and does not mention anything overtly sexual. Rather, it features the children's cartoon characters singing and dancing along to the popular disco hit "We Are Family."

But while the video is harmless on its own, I believe the agenda behind it is sinister. My brief comments at the FRC gathering were intended to express concern not about SpongeBob or Big Bird or any of their other cartoon friends, but about the way in which those childhood symbols are apparently being hijacked to promote an agenda that involves teaching homosexual propaganda to children. Nevertheless, the media jumped on the story by claiming that I had accused SpongeBob of being "gay." Some suggested that I had confused the organization that had created the video with a similarly named gay-rights group. In both cases, the press was dead wrong, and I welcome this opportunity to help them get their facts straight.

If you're feeling sadistic, you might then want to read how the media interprets his comments about the video. Typical losers CNN and MSNBC had their say, of course. MSNBC refers to him as "A man named Dr. James Dobson," as if he had never been in the news before, or as if he was some unknown making wild comments. What fun.

SpongeBob isn't gay . . . but that Tinky Winky still freaks me out!

Note: My letter will surely not be published, but I can only imagine that someone's letter on this topic will be printed. I will post it here when that happens. As I mentioned, I suggest you write in as well and voice your opinion at letters@tvguide.com