The Smarmy Carny

The ESLEDBB in action!

Have you ever wished your pants could do the talking? Well, now's your chance.

Brain Buster Enterprises has created The Electronic Scrolling LED Belt Buckle. (I'm going to call it ESLEDBB for short. Won't you?) Is it electronic? Yes! Does it scroll? Yes! Does it use an LED? Yes! Is it a belt? Umm, no. Is it a buckle? Yes!

The belt allows you to store six separate messages of up to 256 characters each. I'm curious about how you change the messages. Is there some sort of keypad on the back or under a panel, or do you connect it to your computer? For $30 plus S&H, you can get your very own ESLEDBB. Batteries and directions are included, but the actual belt is not.

Head on over to the ESLEDBB webpage (and I mean webpage literally!) and check out the details.

On the website, you can also see a brief quicktime movie of the ESLEDBB in action. Spoiler Alert! The video will bring you no surprises.

And when it comes to putting messages on your pants, the possibilities are endless.

Still looking for that perfect gift for that special someone? If you are (or know) a girl who has (or plans to get) breast implants, here's a gift you just can't resist!

The Register reports that BT Laboratories is considering developing an MP3 player that would sit inside a breast implant. The player would theoretically go in one side, and the storage disk in the other. The wireless (of course) signal would be relayed to headphones and a wristband of some sort would control the device.

Don't even ask about upgrades . . .

Of course, there's always the package gift of the MP3 player along with breast implants . . .

The question is: When will they be able to leave an MP3 player behind when they remove tonsils or an appendix? I'm just hoping this doesn't mean you're going to see plenty of male twenty-something techies walking around with breast implants, just so they can stay on the bleeding edge of technology!

This goes far beyond picture-in-picture and split-screen!

Sharp has developed a new LCD television that can "simultaneously display different information and image content in right and left views in a single unit." In other words, if you want to watch hockey and your buddy wants to watch figure skating, you sit to the left of the television, and s/he sits on the right side of the television. You're both watching the same television, but you see completely different programs.

Controlling the viewing angle . . . allows the information or visual content to be tailored to multiple users viewing the same screen. For example, one user can view the display as a PC screen for browsing the Internet or for editing video shot using a digital camera (IT) while at the same time another user watches video content such as a movie or a TV broadcast (A/V). This ability to enjoy two functions in a single unit in full-screen size will contribute to achieving a full-fledged convergence of digital home electronics A/V and IT.

According to Sharp's press release, mass production begins this month! Have you pre-ordered yours yet?

Now, instead of fighting over what you watch, you get to fight over who hears their show!

Be the Queen!

I posted on Friday regarding Queen Elizabeth II buying a 6GB silver iPod.

engadget went ahead and made one of those iPod silhouette pictures of the Queen. These have become so nauseatingly iconic, but that one just cracked me up.

Be the Queen for Free

Queen Elizabeth II has reportedly bought a 6GB silver iPod.

Yahoo! News (link now dead) reports that Price Andrew was behind the purchase, as he also bought his mother a cell phone in 2001.

You too can be like the Queen. Get started immediately by signing up for a free iPod, or read up and find out more on the subject.

FYI, the Queen is now 79 years old. The Sun newspaper suggested that she added Abba's "Dancing Queen" and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears to her iPod. I would suggest that she avoid Queen's "Killer Queen."

MaxSight Red Contacts

MaxSight lenses are designed to function like sunglasses in a contact lens form.

That right . . . Nike and Bausch & Lomb have teamed up to develop MaxSight. Nike has been giving lenses to professional athletes (and some golfers) to start using MaxSight lenses during games.

Most athletes are wearing the red lenses, but there are yellow and amber lenses available, too. Golfers are apparently wearing "gray-green" lenses. There is a set for night use in development stages, too, but I'm curious about what they would help with. Ever seen anyone wearing their special "night-time" sunglasses?

FoxSports.com (link now dead) wrote up a nice little story about them. Obviously, the story revolves around sports, but apparently so do the lenses. They are, after all, co-developed by Nike.

Let's just hope that some day, these lenses are available to the masses. It will mark the first time that I'm willing to pay over $15 for a pair of sunglasses! For consumers, the lenses have some medical advantages, too:

There are medical advantages as well to wearing the lenses, which basically are soft contacts with a tint that has been scientifically developed. While light can leak through sunglasses, through the opening between the frame and the eyes, performance-enhancing contacts sit on the pupils and better protect them from the sun.

Still, the red contacts tend to make you look a bit creepy.

Free iPods

Have you signed up for your free iPod yet?

Status:

5 referrals obtained!

I received my free iPod!

By this time, most everyone has heard about the "free iPod" deals out on the internet.

The intelligent people who hear about this deal immediately dismiss the entire plan as a scam. The gullible people who hear about this deal end up with free iPods. Go figure.

The most popular site offering free iPods has caused quite a frenzy. First, there was a flurry of people claiming that they really did get a free iPod. Then there was a flurry of people saying they qualified for a free iPod, but they were still waiting to get theirs, and they were pessimistic. Then there was a flurry of people saying they finally got their free iPod. Then there was a flurry of people saying they finally believed the second generation of free-iPod'ers, and had finally decided to join up and go for the gold. This is precisely where I entered the story.

You've got questions? Of course you do? Still skeptical? Of course you are. Here are some answers for you:

• Is this really for real?
  What . . . you mean that just because you read my blog entry, you don't believe it's legit? Fair enough. I wouldn't believe a random blog entry, either. Read an article on the free iPod deal at Wired.com. Even they admit it's legit.
• How does it work?
  Basically, you sign up and complete an "offer." You can pick from various offers. Right now, there are items such as "Join the Columbia House DVD Club and get 5 DVDs for $.49 each," "Start your free trial of Appéra tooth whitener," "Get a free 7 Day Trial of Trimlife Trio," "Sign up for a free 30-day trial at eFax," etc. My personal advice is to go with one of the free trials and cancel near the end of the trial, unless of course you were already thinking about getting involved with one of the deals (like Columbia House). Then, get five friends (or even enemies or strangers, if they are willing) to sign up using your referral link and complete an offer themselves. Once this is all done, they ship you an iPod!
• How can they make money off of giving away free $200+ iPods?
  Apparently the company behind this deal gets money for sending people (prospective customers) to the specified sites. If they give an iPod to a person, that means they fulfilled the obligation and had five people sign up under them and complete an offer. So, five referrals costs them one iPod . . . and not everyone who completes an offer bothers to get all five referrals, and never picks up an iPod. Easy money for the company.

Just to recap, here's information from the site about how to get your free iPod:

To get your free item is simple:

1. Join our website.
   You create an account with our website by filling out the simple form on our main page. Give us your email address and create a password, and hit next. That's it!
2. Click and complete an online offer from our website.
   These are special online offers that our advertisers are offering, and can be found once your are logged into your account, and on the "Complete Offer" page. You will simply have to choose 1 (one) of these offers which you are interested in, and complete the necessary steps. Offer instructions will pop up once you click on that offer, just make sure you have disabled any pop-up blocking software.
   You will receive credit for this offer, once you have completed all of the necessary steps, and we have received confirmation of credit from that offer provider.
   You can see the status of this credit on the "Check Status" page of the website. You are also free to try more than one offer.
3. Refer people who also create an account, and complete an offer.
   You will need to refer new people to sign up with our website by having them click on your referral link. They must click that exact link in order for you to get credit. Once they have joined, they must also complete one online offer from their account. Once you have the appropriate number of referrals who completed an offer, and once you yourself have completed an offer, you will then be eligible to receive your free product.

I'm not going to lie to you. After reading the post, I'm sure you are well aware that the links above all head to referral URIs. You're helping people by getting them closer to a free iPod, and I'm helping you by informing you about the whole deal. Of course, you could chop off the referral portion of the link, but then you'd be helping no one . . . except for Freepay. These referral links are not for me, as I have already received my free iPod! Read here about my free iPod!