The Smarmy Carny

smarmycarny.com

Head over to Websites As Graphs and punch in any website. Watch as the script forms a graph of the site. The result? You'll get a graph of the site, just like the one of The Smarmy Carny pictured here. More accurately, the graph is of that webpage not the entire site. Based on the definitions for the colors, it is less like a network map and more like a graph of the webpage layout. Each dot refers to a different tag on the page, including links, images, tables, quotes, etc.

The bottom of the page informs you about what type of tag each color refers to, but I wish I could hover over the dots and see exactly what I'm looking at. I'd like to be able to say, "That dot right there is the picture about Websites As Graphs," but I can't.

Many people have posted their pictures on Flickr under the tag websitesasgraphs. In fact, the site claims that this was the #1 tag on Flickr over the last full week of May. Good times.

Google has been adding increasingly more special results to the top of their results. This results box that appears at the top of your search results is called OneBox. An amazing number of searches pull up some sort of information to attempt to immediately answer any specific information you might be searching for.

Go ahead: Search "5 + 4" and see what happens.

Here are some of the many searches that utilize Google OneBox. Search formats are in bold. I have included example searches in parentheses and quotations if you'd like to try a search yourself.

• [misspelled word] ("independant") — Google suggests the proper spelling for the word.
• [calculation] ("600 * 150" or "sqrt(-16)" or "pi" or "16 oz in cups" or "0.89 cad/liter in usd/gallon" or "10 pounds * 4000 feet in calories" or "2006 in roman numerals") — Calculates the result and/or conversion
• [phone number] ("320-693-6651") — Phone book result, address, and maps to that address if you have searched a listed number.
• [ticker symbol] ("mmm") — Various information on the stock, including the stoke quote, company name, links to various financial sites, current price, highs, lows, and a chart.
• [zip code/city name/area code] ("90210" or "beverly hills") — Links to view a map of the area via Google Maps, Yahoo! Maps, and MapQuest.
• [area code] ("212") — Link to an area code map for the selected area. Also informs you of the major city in that area code.
• [address1] to [address2] ("1600 pennsylvania avenue 20006 to 350 fifth avenue 10118") — Supplies driving directions via the same three mapping sites.
• [city1] [city2] ("boston sacramento") — Fields to enter departure and return dates, along with links to various airline sites.
• [airport code] airport ("jfk airport") — Link to current airport conditions and delays.
• [airline] [flight number] ("united 7") — Links to information on flight status
• [amount] [currency1] in [currency2] ("500 usd in gbp") — Currency converter
• [current movie title] — Shows runtime, MPAA rating, user ratings, and offers a search box to find showings near your zip.
• Including other keywords give you certain information about words, locations, etc. Try these out for size. The results for these are fairly obvious, so I won't explain them.
  • define [word]
  • winner [super bowl; stanley cup] — You don't get to pick which year is displayed, which is disappointing. How well this works to begin with is questionable.
• Here are even more keywords to use alongside locations. If you want to find out about a country, state, or city, these all should work well:
  • capital [location]
  • population [location]
  • president [location]
  • weather [location]
  • time [location]
  • state [bird/flower] [state] ("state bird new jersey") — Some states (NY) give you a state beverage if you ask.
• patent [number] ("patent 4825111")
• [tracking number] — Works with tracking numbers for the USPS, UPS, and FedEx
• [UPC number] ("718908094075")
• [obscure number] — You can also enter VINs, FAA airplane registration numbers, and FCC equipment IDs. FCC IDs need to be prefaced with "fcc".
• Where was [person] born? ("where was weird al born")
• Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
• What is the answer to life the universe and everything? — If you don't already know the answer to this question, then you won't find this funny.
• What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
• How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Additionally, Google SMS has additional features you can use on the site, or text message from your phone to get a response from anywhere. Here are some additional keywords that don't seem to work from the normal Google search, but already work on Google SMS:

• translate [english word/phrase] in [language] ("translate dog in spanish") -or- translate [foreign word/phrase] from [language] ("translate perro from spanish") — This will give you a basic translation service to or from the English language.
• [city name/address] to [city name/address] — Supplies driving directions between locations
• [sports team] — Gives recent score and upcoming game information. Try the team name ("lakers") or the city combined with the league ("nhl detroit"). There's no news or off-season information, just scores.

If you have additional Google OneBox responses that aren't listed here, please comment so that I can add them!

Google Maps now has detailed satellite imagery of European hotspots. Here are three posted by Google to get you started:

• Eiffel Tower
• Olympiastadion – Berlin
• Grand Canal – Venice

Also, be sure to check out my extensive list of Google Maps U.S. pictures and links from a year ago.

Google announced Toolbar v2 for Firefox Fans yesterday morning on the Official Google Blog.

Google admits that the toolbar for Firefox includes different features than the toolbar for IE "because Firefox and IE users have different needs." I believe this to be a tip of the hat to Firefox users, inferring that Firefox users are the ones who want the "cool" stuff.

What does version two bring to the table?

• Feed integration — One-click feed subscription button
• Safe Browsing extension — Anti-phishing tool
• Send with Gmail button — Opens your Gmail any time you click an e-mail link
• Custom Layouts — You can choose to replace Firefox's search bar with the Google search bar and/or remove the toolbar completely.
• The Classics — Classic features return: SpellCheck, PageRank, Highlight, Word Find, AutoFill, AutoLink, and WordTranlator

I like the feed integration button because it lights up when a feed is available on a page and it works with multiple feed readers. Good bye, Bloglines toolbar button!

I'm unhappy with the custom layouts because the Google search is able to replace the Firefox search, but without any of the awesome multiple engine features. Google should know that this is one of the most valuable features in the Firefox browser! If anything, I would prefer an option to nix the Google search bar from the Google toolbar. I keep it around and use it for all my Google searches, though, because of the suggestion feature. I wish that Google could replace the Firefox search bar, retain the Google search bar features, and retain the multiple search engine feature.

Go get the Google Toolbar v2 for Firefox. The best part about this toolbar is that if you don't like a feature, you can usually disable it.

Finally, something from the UN that I'll post positively about!

UNESCO (the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) is backing a project they have dubbed the project of the 21st century. This project is titled KEO.

At the end of 2007 (or possibly in 2008), the satellite KEO will be launched into space for 50,000 years, when it will return to earth. KEO (named for the three most universal sounds in today's languages) will have a current-day map of the earth on its outer shell. Inside, there will be a diamond that includes an etching of human DNA and samples of current-day sea water, air, soil, and human blood; portraits of people including diverse nationalities; the astronomical clock, which future scientists will use to date the satellite; a "contemporary 'Library of Alexandria' offering a rational description of ourselves and our time"; and all our messages from individuals of today who wish to contribute.

What's this about our messages? That's right. Every person on the Earth is invited to write up to "four pages" (technically, you have 6,000 characters) of text to be included on the glass-tempered CD-ROMs to be included in KEO. All messages must be contributed by December 31, 2006. Other than length and time, there are no restrictions.

Interestingly, the KEO team says that on KEO's reentry, it will create an artificial Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) whose luminosity and glow will light up the sky, announcing its arrival.

Read plenty more on the English KEO website. As usual, Wikipedia's KEO page has plenty to add regarding KEO as well.

Hurry and get your message added — the deadline is December 31, 2006!

Not sure what type of message to write? Here are some messages that will be included:

… So I have a prayer for our future generations:
That you treat your children like the precious gifts that they are. Teach them to respect and love themselves, teach them to love, and to be tolerant of each other. We do that by example, because we have learned that children imitate the behaviors that are presented to them, educate them, give them hope, and keep them healthy. Yes, every child is worth the effort… Teresa, 46 years, USA

… Dear Future Beings,
I am writing to you with optimistic hope that you exist, that you have the science and technology to decipher this, and that you have the incentive and freedom to do so. One of my great interests is paleontology. It is ironic that if my physical remains exist at all now, they are probably in the form of fossils—similar to those fossils that have decorated my home… Chris, 45 years, USA

… Hello. Do you have special toys? Do you have a fireplace? Do you have a car? Do you have a closet? Do you have a blanket? I have three blankets. I can write my name: Kayla. What is your name? Do you have glasses? I like my mommy. I have a dog named Woo. Do you have a dog? I have a purple outfit. My favorite color is green.…. As dictated to her grandmother by Kayla, 4, USA

…Some time in the near future I will be strapped down on a gurney and poison will be run into my veins until I can no longer breath and my hearts stops beating…I hope that in your world politicians have to be against the death penalty in order to get elected. Or better yet, no politicians at all. They love to start wars but never do the actual fighting… Miguel, prisoner, USA

… I'll tell you how to make hamburgers. You need:

• 1 pound ground lean beef
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 4 tomato slices (if you like them)

… Joshua, 10 years, Canada

… To whom am I writing? An evolved human being or some other life form? Maybe a roach. I’ve always felt that roaches will inherit the earth. Or maybe tube worms, protected from wars or disease down there near those deep ocean vents. If you’re a roach or a tube worm, then you won’t understand anything I’m saying. My thoughts will be as foreign to you as a trilobite’s would be to me. But maybe—just maybe—you are a descendant of human beings. 50,000 years isn’t all that long, actually. Many humans are now living to be a hundred. If a hundred-year-old human touches the hand of a newborn who then, when he or she reaches a hundred, touches the hand of a newborn, etc., it takes only 500 humans to form a 50,000 chain… Madge, 68, USA

…My favorite things so that you might better understand my world.

• Sitting quietly and petting my purring cat
• Feeling a cool breeze on a hot day
• Listening to the wind rustle the tree branches from my balcony
• Watching the snow fall
• Sitting on the beach edge with my toes in the water…
• Listening to foreign voices in foreign places
• Walking the streets of an unknown town
• Walking the streets of my home town
• Enjoying a good meal with friends and family

… Wendy, 37, USA

The ESLEDBB in action!

Have you ever wished your pants could do the talking? Well, now's your chance.

Brain Buster Enterprises has created The Electronic Scrolling LED Belt Buckle. (I'm going to call it ESLEDBB for short. Won't you?) Is it electronic? Yes! Does it scroll? Yes! Does it use an LED? Yes! Is it a belt? Umm, no. Is it a buckle? Yes!

The belt allows you to store six separate messages of up to 256 characters each. I'm curious about how you change the messages. Is there some sort of keypad on the back or under a panel, or do you connect it to your computer? For $30 plus S&H, you can get your very own ESLEDBB. Batteries and directions are included, but the actual belt is not.

Head on over to the ESLEDBB webpage (and I mean webpage literally!) and check out the details.

On the website, you can also see a brief quicktime movie of the ESLEDBB in action. Spoiler Alert! The video will bring you no surprises.

And when it comes to putting messages on your pants, the possibilities are endless.

The Novenary: Nine blades!!!

Since the announcement of the Gillette Fusion during the Super Bowl and its subsequent popularity, Schickette has decided to release its plans for a nine-bladed razor.

Though the leading razor companies have all been working on a six-bladed razor, scientists discovered that the maximum number of blades for a razor was capped at nine, due to limitations in current technology. A Schickette spokesperson stated that, while six blades was the obvious next step in this progression, it seemed silly not to go for the gusto — nine blades.

Thus, Schickette today announced the Schickette Novenary disposable razor. The Novenary contains the maximum nine blades on the primary face of the razor, and an additional five blades on the back for shaving sideburns, nose hair, ear hair, chest hair, and back hair. This, of course, totals fourteen blades on the entire razor.

Schickette is also developing a Novenary with replaceable blades. A single set of replacement blades is estimated at about $35, with a three-set replacement pack running at $99.