The Smarmy Carny

I guess I'll grade these pet peeves at how good they are at "peeving" me off. The higher the grade, the more annoying. A couple years ago, these probably all would have been between A- and A+ because I frequently experienced road rage. Since then, I have slowed down and calmed down, but it's unavoidable to run into someone doing at least one of the following things:

• Not using the turn signal: B+ As with many pet peeves, this is often situational. It's much more annoying when you don't pull out because you didn't know the vehicle was going to turn into the parking lot you're pulling out of, or when you almost ram a swerving vehicle that didn't bother signaling first.
• Tailgating: B Tailgating is silly to do because it doesn't get you anywhere faster. It just makes you closer to the car in front of you.
• Driving too fast: D People driving faster than me are rarely bothersome unless they're also tailgating, but that falls under another pet peeve. So long as they're not driving so fast that they are a danger to themselves or others, it's mostly fine.
• Driving too slowly: B- This is one of the major nuisances of the road, particularly on rural roads. There's nothing quite as exhilarating as coming over a hill to find an old couple driving 20 mph in a 55 mph. Brake check!
• Not being me: C If you're not me, that's a problem I have with drivers. I prefer to be the only one driving.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which driving pet peeves do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

Cars have so many features nowadays that it can make your head spin.

• Cooled Compartments: D- I'll file this one under "Things that sounded cool until I realized I would literally never use them." These aren't refrigerators, either — they're simply cooled compartments. So if you have something cold, it will stay cold for two hours instead of an hour and a half. Yippee.
• Heated Seats: C I've never had heated seats, but I've heard that they are wonderful for drivers in cold climates. My problem with the heated seat is that it's not natural. Sure, you can sit on the comfy heated seat, but then you have toasted buns and your fingers are still freezing off.
• Power Windows: A- I miss having to lean over to manually roll down the passenger side window before I started getting power windows. And I don't think the rear passenger window was rolled down for the entire two years I owned that car. Power windows are wonderful, except when they break. Then, you get to watch people at the toll booth opening their door to try and hand their money to the toll booth attendant. That doesn't hurt the rating here for two reasons: First, it's hilarious to watch, and second, manual windows have the same problem.
• Cup Holders: A+ Remember when we didn't have cup holders in the car? When buying fast food, we'd be forced to rely on those lousy cardboard drink holders. And forget about the coffee on the drive to work — you'd just set it on the dash and hope no one made you swerve.
• Dual Zone Climate Control: C- Ever want to The only time that this feature is worthwhile is when your significant other complains that s/he's burning up when you're freezing cold or vice versa. The feature won't actually help you much, but it'll keep the both of you from arm wrestling in front of the console. If you're single, consider this one an F. Anyone who likes this feature might also want to follow Steven Wright's advice and buy a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in the same room, too.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which car features do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

The Make-A-Wish® Chopper

American Chopper fans already know about this cool gift.

Paul Sr., Paul Jr., Mikey, and the rest of the Orange County Choppers crew unveiled a custom Make-A-Wish® chopper. They also gave presents to almost 50 wish kids at a Christmas party in their garage.

The bike included a huge, star-shaped gas tank that fit the star of the Make-A-Wish® logo. It also included a handlebar riser that features shooting stars, huge fenders, flashing LEDs, and was painted the same blue as used in the logo. The fenders and gas tank also featured children's handprints on them.

In addition to the bike, the Teutul's took a list of the children's gift requests and bought all the requested items at FAO Schwarz. These gifts were given to all the kids at the party, too.

This was not the only time the Teutul's have displayed their generosity by helping Make-A-Wish®. In fact, they were given a Chris Greicius Celebrity Wish Granter of the Year Award.

Read more about the Orange County Choppers' gift for Make-A-Wish kids at wish.org.

Snopes.com: Rumor has it.

Snopes is an urban legends reference page that I have been reading for almost ten years now.

You'll be surprised at what's true and what's not. Keep in mind that a story doesn't have to be false to be an urban legend. According to Snopes, here are the three conditions to be fulfilled for a story to be classified an "urban legend":

1. The story circulates widely.
2. The story is told and re-told with differing details.
3. The story is said to be true.

Some stories you've believed and retold others for decades turn out to be false. Stories you've rolled your eyes at turn out to be completely true. Here are some items that might surprise you:

• Does hair grow back darker/thicker after it has been shaved?
• Is celery a "negative calorie food"?
• Do the horses in Young Frankenstein neigh every time they hear Frau Blucher's name because "blucher" is the German word for "glue"?
• Will you get cramps if you go swimming less than 45 minutes/an hour after eating?
• Was a suicide captured in the background of The Wizard of Oz?
• Does eating turkey make you drowsy?
• Does the Swiffer WetJet pose a danger to dogs and other household pets?
• Did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC to remove "Chicken" from their name because their mutant birds could not be legally considered chickens, or was it to remove "Fried" from their name in order to seem healthier?
• Was the Titanic screening The Poseidon Adventure when it hit the iceberg?
• Is Jell-O made from bones and hides?
• Was an actor killed during the filming of the chariot race in Ben Hur?
• Do Twinkies never expire?
• Was television's Mr. Ed a horse?

Snopes is an overall great site to spend time on. Whether you're looking for some interesting reading to pass the time or settling a bet on whether Pop Rocks and soda pop will kill you, Snopes is the place to be.

Fat Man Walked

Steve Vaught's journey is complete.

Back in June, I wrote about Steve Vaught (aka Stephen James Liller), a 40 year old father of two. Vaught decided to take action against his balooning weight. On April 10, 2005, he began walking across the United states from San Diego to NYC to lose weight and regain his life.

Today, 394 days later, Vaught walked across the George Washington Bridge, crossing into New York City and completing his journey.

Steve's website should be updated in a few days, but it is running on a low-bandwidth version right now to reduce the strain that the completion of the journey has brought.

Unfortunately, it looks as though Steve and his wife will be getting a divorce. I know that, when he left, he had talked about being happily married and that his wife was very supportive of him and his journey. Steve has said that he will focus his energy now on being the best father he can to his two children.

As I mentioned before, you too can Walk Away the Pounds.