The Smarmy Carny

I guess I'll grade these pet peeves at how good they are at "peeving" me off. The higher the grade, the more annoying. A couple years ago, these probably all would have been between A- and A+ because I frequently experienced road rage. Since then, I have slowed down and calmed down, but it's unavoidable to run into someone doing at least one of the following things:

• Not using the turn signal: B+ As with many pet peeves, this is often situational. It's much more annoying when you don't pull out because you didn't know the vehicle was going to turn into the parking lot you're pulling out of, or when you almost ram a swerving vehicle that didn't bother signaling first.
• Tailgating: B Tailgating is silly to do because it doesn't get you anywhere faster. It just makes you closer to the car in front of you.
• Driving too fast: D People driving faster than me are rarely bothersome unless they're also tailgating, but that falls under another pet peeve. So long as they're not driving so fast that they are a danger to themselves or others, it's mostly fine.
• Driving too slowly: B- This is one of the major nuisances of the road, particularly on rural roads. There's nothing quite as exhilarating as coming over a hill to find an old couple driving 20 mph in a 55 mph. Brake check!
• Not being me: C If you're not me, that's a problem I have with drivers. I prefer to be the only one driving.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which driving pet peeves do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

Cars have so many features nowadays that it can make your head spin.

• Cooled Compartments: D- I'll file this one under "Things that sounded cool until I realized I would literally never use them." These aren't refrigerators, either — they're simply cooled compartments. So if you have something cold, it will stay cold for two hours instead of an hour and a half. Yippee.
• Heated Seats: C I've never had heated seats, but I've heard that they are wonderful for drivers in cold climates. My problem with the heated seat is that it's not natural. Sure, you can sit on the comfy heated seat, but then you have toasted buns and your fingers are still freezing off.
• Power Windows: A- I miss having to lean over to manually roll down the passenger side window before I started getting power windows. And I don't think the rear passenger window was rolled down for the entire two years I owned that car. Power windows are wonderful, except when they break. Then, you get to watch people at the toll booth opening their door to try and hand their money to the toll booth attendant. That doesn't hurt the rating here for two reasons: First, it's hilarious to watch, and second, manual windows have the same problem.
• Cup Holders: A+ Remember when we didn't have cup holders in the car? When buying fast food, we'd be forced to rely on those lousy cardboard drink holders. And forget about the coffee on the drive to work — you'd just set it on the dash and hope no one made you swerve.
• Dual Zone Climate Control: C- Ever want to The only time that this feature is worthwhile is when your significant other complains that s/he's burning up when you're freezing cold or vice versa. The feature won't actually help you much, but it'll keep the both of you from arm wrestling in front of the console. If you're single, consider this one an F. Anyone who likes this feature might also want to follow Steven Wright's advice and buy a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in the same room, too.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which car features do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

The Make-A-Wish® Chopper

American Chopper fans already know about this cool gift.

Paul Sr., Paul Jr., Mikey, and the rest of the Orange County Choppers crew unveiled a custom Make-A-Wish® chopper. They also gave presents to almost 50 wish kids at a Christmas party in their garage.

The bike included a huge, star-shaped gas tank that fit the star of the Make-A-Wish® logo. It also included a handlebar riser that features shooting stars, huge fenders, flashing LEDs, and was painted the same blue as used in the logo. The fenders and gas tank also featured children's handprints on them.

In addition to the bike, the Teutul's took a list of the children's gift requests and bought all the requested items at FAO Schwarz. These gifts were given to all the kids at the party, too.

This was not the only time the Teutul's have displayed their generosity by helping Make-A-Wish®. In fact, they were given a Chris Greicius Celebrity Wish Granter of the Year Award.

Read more about the Orange County Choppers' gift for Make-A-Wish kids at wish.org.

Don't Block the Box!
by Novac.

Just say no. Don't do it, man! Don't block the box!

The amazing thing (to this novice non-photographer, at least) is that I took this picture from inside my car and it still required no editing, except that I reduced the size by 50% or so.

The "Don't Block the Box" sign is at an intersection. In normal areas, you might instead see a "Do not block intersection" sign or something to that effect. "The box," as it were, is created by painting a large square in the intersection and then filling the entire intersection with diagonal lines. It's ugly and quite unnecessary. You sure know where "the box" is, though.

The intersection was not particarly noteworthy, other than the signs and the paint. It was a slightly larger intersection, but exactly what you'd expect from roads in that area. I wonder why it is that the drivers in that area are incapable of clearing the intersection. Perhaps gridlock or a nearby train or something backs the traffic up into the intersection. Or maybe there's just something in the drinking water there.

I'd like to be there the day they have to paint the lines that create "the box." It's got to be messy, shut down the intersection, and take at least 15 minutes.

You simply must watch this prank some guys pull on their buddy who has fallen asleep during a car ride.

There are several reasons why this week's video is so entertaining. First, this is the sort of prank we used to pull all the time. Second, the guy's expression is priceless! Third, I'm tired of writing, so just watch the video, for crying out loud!