The Smarmy Carny

Don't Block the Box!
by Novac.

Just say no. Don't do it, man! Don't block the box!

The amazing thing (to this novice non-photographer, at least) is that I took this picture from inside my car and it still required no editing, except that I reduced the size by 50% or so.

The "Don't Block the Box" sign is at an intersection. In normal areas, you might instead see a "Do not block intersection" sign or something to that effect. "The box," as it were, is created by painting a large square in the intersection and then filling the entire intersection with diagonal lines. It's ugly and quite unnecessary. You sure know where "the box" is, though.

The intersection was not particarly noteworthy, other than the signs and the paint. It was a slightly larger intersection, but exactly what you'd expect from roads in that area. I wonder why it is that the drivers in that area are incapable of clearing the intersection. Perhaps gridlock or a nearby train or something backs the traffic up into the intersection. Or maybe there's just something in the drinking water there.

I'd like to be there the day they have to paint the lines that create "the box." It's got to be messy, shut down the intersection, and take at least 15 minutes.

Enhanced Orange?

Apparently, scientists are working overtime to enhance common colors that you and I are already familiar with.

That's how it seems, anyway, because The Homeland Security Advisory System has had some interesting twists to it due to the threats against the New York City subway system this weekend.

Now, in general, I don't have any problem with the Homeland Security Advisory System, despite many people's complaints. Let's face it — many people just don't read, listen to, or watch the news regularly, and I like the idea of a simple system for telling everyone if something is or might be going on. (In fact, this site perpetually displays the HSAS threat level in Muppet form. Just take a look at the sidebar.) More importantly, it lets the appropriate agencies know when to really buckle down and make sure they don't miss anything crucial.

Now that's not to say I don't have any problems with the system. Why in the world do we have a green level on there? We all know that no one with half a mind will use that threat level! Who's going to lower the advisory to the "Low" setting of Green? You just know that if we get attacked and the setting is Green, whoever is responsible for that is utterly screwed. So, we are currently on Yellow alert, right? Right . . . unless you're in New York City, where the status has been Orange all along. And unless you were using mass transit three months ago, when there was a raised status for mass transit only.

These, as odd as they are, are perfectly understandable. I have no issue swallowing these discrepancies, but let me mention the latest color change. Suppose a threat is made on New York's subway system, and you are riding San Francisco's BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit). What would you suppose the threat level would be? Yellow? Nope. Orange? Nope. Try this on for size:

"Enhanced Orange" That's right . . . it's certainly not Red, but it's more than Orange. It must be Enhanced Orange. BART spokesman Lynton Johnson was quoted as saying that this was not taken because of any specific threat to BART or even to San Francisco! I don't know about you, but in my book, that makes for Enhanced Yellow, at best. I guess that wasn't an option, because BART has been on Orange since the London subway bombings. Perhaps they should have gone with Enhanced Yellow back then, and then they could have bumped up to Orange now.

Bumping up your threat level because of a specific threat to a city 3,000 miles away? Maybe San Francisco just feels like they have been left out of the spotlight for a bit too long. Who knows?

I know there are only five levels because they didn't want to be changing it all the time, but when you take into account that no one is going to use the lowest one, and we seem to have been avoiding Blue as well, that leaves us with only three. Of course, Red is also observed for the "something is actually happening right now or has just happened, so start panicing" situations, which leaves us with two functional threat levels. With two functional threat levels, it's no wonder we have already started splitting these two colors up. Nonetheless, I would prefer the use of "Red-Orange" to "Enhanced Orange," since that's technically the correct term for the method. Honestly, I don't like Red-Orange, either because then you hear Red and start panicing before you even get to the "-Orange" part. I'm sure artistic folks could come up with a color that fits, though. Maybe "Tomato Soup."

Of course, I just want to hear Stone Phillips say "The terror alert level for San Francisco's BART has been raised to Tomato Soup today."

You simply must watch this prank some guys pull on their buddy who has fallen asleep during a car ride.

There are several reasons why this week's video is so entertaining. First, this is the sort of prank we used to pull all the time. Second, the guy's expression is priceless! Third, I'm tired of writing, so just watch the video, for crying out loud!

Money Flies

This alarming news arose a couple days ago and caught my attention. The G8 decided to consider imposing a levy on airline tickets to finance extra aid for African nations. This came shortly after G8 agreed to forgive the debts of poor countries. This seems to happen every few years, and it makes me wonder why countries keep loaning them money. Perhaps it's the thought of "If we gave you the money, we wouldn't get to forgive your debts later and look so overwhelmingly compassionate."

You don't have to go far to find people confused about this move. One of my favorite quotes on the matter is that it's "hard to see why aid for small business in Mozambique should be funded in part by a family travelling from Glasgow to Malaga for a holiday." A spokesman for easyJet said that "There would be no side-benefit for the environment as the tax would not give any incentive on people to alter their behaviour."

Not to fear, though, if you're American. U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow made clear that Washington has opposed this in the past and that our position had not changed. Ron Paul (R – TX) brought forth House Amendment H.AMDT.271:

An amendment numbered 10 printed in the Congressional Record to prohibit any of the funds in the Act from being used by the U.N. to develop or publicize any proposal concerning taxation or fees on any United States person to rause [sic] revenue for the U.N. or any of its specialized or affiliated agencies.

Read more about the levy at Reuters AlertNet and also about Paul's amendment at The Sierra Times.

As if there weren't enough reasons to object to this silly idea, you should know that the two primary supporters of this levy are France and Germany. I know . . . I was shocked to find out, too.

Fat Man Walking

Steve Vaught (aka Stephen James Liller) is a 39 year old, happily married father of two. He claims that he has a "pretty good life" in Southern California, but that he can't enjoy it because he has ballooned to 400 pounds.

Vaught has had enough, and had decided to take action. He is walking across the United states from San Diego to NYC to lose weight and regain his life.

Vaught started his journey on April 10th from Oceanside, CA. He has had some setbacks, which you can read about in his journal.

I admit that the website isn't the most professional, but The site seems to have been redesigned in a more professional manner and he supplies weekly updates on his progress. Don't expect him to finish in six months as he estimated early on . . . if he carries out his mission, he'll be walking a whole lot longer than that.

You can check on his progress by clicking on "Journal" at thefatmanwalking.com.

Want to try, too? Check out Walk Away the Pounds.