The Smarmy Carny

I found a web page with a list of dozens of meteorological statuses that raised plenty of questions. What's the difference between "ice pellets" and "hail", because they're both listed on there separately. And how do you have a "heavy drizzle" — isn't that an oxymoron or at least an "oxymeteorologist"? Also frightening is that they had "volcanic ash" as a weather condition. Yikes.

• Hail: D Hail itself is fine, really. It's kind of funny to have little ice chunks falling on you. Hail gets a low rating, however, because weathermen are always hyping it up and comparing it to different sized objects. Golf ball sized hail! Baseball sized hail! Softball sized hail! BASKETBALL SIZED HAIL! Hush up, weatherman. We don't need that.
• Rain: B- I don't mind the rain, especially when you've given up trying to keep dry. It's funny to watch people running to their car in the morning when it rains. Just 20 minutes earlier, they were in the shower, subjecting themselves to even worse weather conditions.
• Snow: C+ This grade is a balance between a high grade and a low grade. I have lots of fun playing with my kids in the snow, so it gets a high grade. Driving in snow is lousy and deserves a failing grade. So we'll compromise.
• Sun: B The sun is overrated. It only takes one 2nd degree sunburn to teach you that lesson. I'd prefer any of the other weather types here to an extremely sunny day with a UV Index of 10+. That said, sunny weather doesn't wreak havoc with flooding or snow damage or other stuff like that. It just melts delicious ice cream. One more reason to be anti-sun!
• Thunderstorms: D Thunderstorms will always get a low grade, unless something changes where I don't have to unplug all my favorite machines in the house.
• Wind: A I enjoy nice, breezy days. The problem with my favorite weather is that it's almost always followed by rain.

Please feel free to leave a comment. What do you agree or disagree with, and why? Which types of weather do you wish were included that I didn't cover here?

Every time a hurricane rips through the southeast, I think of all the schools that use the Hurricane (or a derivation) as their school mascot. I always wonder if the sports directors of these schools ever consider changing their mascot.

The ability of a hurricane to do so much damage is much of why the meteorological event is chosen as a mascot in the first place, so perhaps it only solidifies their decision. I would like to note that I have a personal belief that meteorological events should not be used for either team mascots or as the primary antagonist in movies. (Of Jessamyn West's seven plot distinctions, Man vs. Nature was always my least favorite.)

Of course, I don't think anyone should be pressured to change their mascot. After all, when a panther attacks people, I never wonder if those schools should switch mascots. When I'm driving through tire smoke on the highway, I never think twice about MLB asking Atlanta and Cleveland to change mascots. According to certain activist groups, nets disturb so many dolphins each year, yet New Jersey's basketball team doesn't seem like a mascot change is on the table. When the fighting Irish do their thing, my thoughts never lead to wondering about Notre Dame's future mascot. When my white sox don't fit on my feet or develop holes, Chicago doesn't cross my mind.

TCU Horned Frogs

Of course, I must now digress and discuss one of the best (and by "best," I mean "lamest") school mascots: The TCU Horned Frogs. Watch out! We'll hop right over you! Or perhaps we, like the actual horned frog, will squirt a fine, four-foot stream of blood from our eyes! Surrender now! There's also the NHL team, the Minnesota Wild. What does that even mean?

And I thought my school mascots were lousy simply because they were people-based mascots instead of animals!

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and with the damage from Hurricane Rita, New Orleans faced setbacks on the progress they had attained. My local talk radio station took their afternoon show to invite people to call in with a one-word summary of what had happened down in New Orleans and other affected areas. "Humbling" and "devastating" were a couple words offered up by the hosts, but the first three callers offered suggestions such as "Biblical," "repent," and "Revelations." Each of these callers suggested that God had sent the hurricane(s) for such-and-such a reason. Of course, New Orleans isn't quite the Salt Lake City of the south, but I still remained uneasy about the willingness of these people to pronounce that Katrina was simply God's wrath on the sinful city of the south.

I was reading through The Religion & Philosophy Blog from Houghton College's Religion & Philosophy department tonight. It's a new blog with only a couple entries to date. The most recent entry to date was written by Dr. Richard Eckley. Eckley is the author of the book Revelation: A Commentary for Bible Students, so I knew he would have some interesting insight into the issue of claiming that Katrina's destruction was due to God's wrath or even the end times.

I urge you to read the article, titled "Leviathan Alive and Well in Louisiana." For the click-challenged and just plain lazy, here's an excerpt that should serve as some motivation to read the entire article:

Though these natural forces are deemed demonic because of their destructive chaos, the line between God's sovereign control and Satan's activity is blurred.

Certainly assigning an apocalyptic meaning to such natural disasters gives some sort of purpose and meaning to these cataclysmic horrors, howbeit merely to resign us to their happening in the "end times"–as if such things never happened in the "middle times" or the "earlier times!"

Natural disasters allow us to see evil at work in an indiscriminate and meaningless way (when a tornado runs through your neighborhood, trees fall on the rich and the poor alike.) Evil as surd at least allows our theology to stay neutral. No one caused Katrina to happen, and no one should try to find purpose in it happening to them.

Read the full article.

In the wake of hurricane Katrina, Google Maps now has satellite imagery of New Orleans on August 31 at 10am.

I wonder if they will be releasing additional satellite imagery in the near future.

The Red Cross

I have added a banner to the upper-right corner of the website.

This particular banner will link you to Amazon.com's donation page for the Red Cross. Their method may be more convenient, as they will already have your information, assuming you have an Amazon.com account. (Who doesn't?)

I was watching a game show in the cafeteria at work, and someone noted that there was not hurricane-related news on the television. I might as well offer a few thoughts on the events surrounding the hurricane.

• Evacuation — They should do a whole lot more to help get the sick and elderly out of the hurricane regions when an evacuation is in effect. Perhaps an evacuation hotline might make sense, but it might also be too impractical. In the area where I grew up, there were road signs near major strips for evacuation routes in case of problems with the nearby nuclear plant.
• Rooftop rescues — Assuming a better, improved evacuation procedure, they should fine every single person who has to be rescued by helicopter. I see many seemingly healthy people on the news coverage being lifted out via helicopter. Likely, these people were simply of the "We're not going to leave home. Forget the evacuation, because we're sticking it out!" mindset. This stupidity wastes the time of the rescue choppers that could be doing something worthwhile, like aiding ground rescue teams or pulling out any floating corpses that may be contaminating the water.
• Looting — What's the deal with looting? I can somewhat understand the food situation, since the grocery stores aren't open and there aren't many/any other methods for obtaining food. This leads me to a suggestion: If you're dumb enough not to evacuate, then stock up on food! Tulane University's hospital is trying to evacuate because they are experiencing problems with looting. Someone stole the hospital's generator off of one of their command stations. If that weren't enough, one of their ambulances was overturned as well. Smart.

That having been said, I have decided to make a decision and take a stand against hurricanes.