The Smarmy Carny

Who's Your Daddy?

Paramount Pictures has bought the rights to make not one, but three movies of The Smurfs.

Since kids these days don't know anything of The Smurfs we loved and grew up to, this movie will likely be a 3-D CGI flick.

Don't get too excited, though. The first movie is scheduled to be released on the 50th anniversary of Peyo (Pierre) Culliford's Belgian comic strip, started in 1958. For those who aren't that great with math, that means that the first movie is slated for 2008.

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At long last, The Muppet Show's first season will be released tomorrow on DVD!

I have been waiting for quite a while for this show to make it to DVD. I don't know why Disney has been holding back for so long on this release, but the wait is finally over! (OK, it's not technically over until the DVD is released tomorrow, but you know what I mean.)

From what I have read online thus far, it seems Disney did a decent job at packaging these shows with some extras:

• A season 1 promo gag reel. I guarantee that this will be a riot to watch!
• The original pilot. For true Muppet fans, this is the "Sex and Violence" pilot, not the "Valentines" pilot.
• "Muppet Morsels," which is a sort of pop-up trivia while you watch. Spider-Man had this, and it was really awesome.
• The original Muppet pitch reel used to try and sell the show to television execs.
• A Jim Henson retrospective. This has got to be good. Jim Henson rules.
• A sneak peek of The Muppets' Wizard of Oz

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I grew up having fun with The Muppet Show. Classic, classic stuff. Watching these episodes as an adult, I can appreciate many more jokes other than just the physical humor.

Yes, I realize that this "Movie Monday" post is about a television show and not a movie. My defense is that . . . you know what? Never mind. It's my blog, and I can do whatever I want. No excuses. Ahh, smell that? That's called empowerment! Nonetheless, I would like to mention that the Muppet movies are also great purchases, and those really are movies.

I must admit, I have enjoyed the movies many more times than I have enjoyed the shows, but primarily this is because the shows are so hard to come by. The movies are shown on the movie channels every so often, and you could always head out and rent it if you simply had to watch one. The television shows, however, are a bit more rare. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on this collection and watching every last bit of it! I guarantee you that the experience of watching The Muppet Show now will be a richer, more satisfying experience than when I was a kid . . . and I loved The Muppet Show as a kid!

Buy the first season

Dukes of Hazzard will be released this coming weekend. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm already giving it an early bad review.

Just from watching the trailers, there are some things that just seem disconcerting about this silver screen adaptation of a beloved television show. Luckily, Ben Jones (who played "Cooter" in the original series) has already come out and said what I wanted to say:

On our show, nobody got hurt, nobody cussed, nobody bled, the good guys won, and the Duke boys were heroes because they always made the right moral choice.
It's filled with profanity and sexual situations and sexual innuendo — and to us, it's like they didn't honor our show as a great family show. They kind of sleazed it. They trashed it.

Buy all four seasons

In this week's TV Guide, another original show cast member came out against the movie. James Best (who played my favorite character, Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane) said that "the movie is not what our show was about — they should call this film 'Jackass 2.'"

Sure, Daisy wore those Daisy Dukes on the show, but she didn't parade around like a you-know-what like Jessica Simpson does. It's really just embarassing. I'm not planning on wasting my time or money. I'd rather buy the DVDs for the original show instead. In fact, just to save you time, here are buying options:

• The Complete First Four Seasons
• The Complete First Three Seasons
• The Complete First and Second Seasons
• The Complete First Season
• The Complete Second Season
• The Complete Third Season
• The Complete Fourth Season

Thanks to Volition, I was able to attend an early screening of Wedding Crashers last Wednesday.

The movie is clearly aimed at the male 20-something crowd, particularly the first 20 minutes or so that was filled with gratuitous nudity and not-so-mild expletives.

Nonetheless, the movie undeniably had some hilarious moments. It was knee-slappingly funny. No, really . . . I literally slapped my knee during the movie.

One of the best moments? The Chaz cameo revealed! Classic.

War of the Worlds

Title: War of the Worlds
Opens in wide release: June 29.
Actors of consequence: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman (Narrator), Steven Spielberg (Director)
Plot/Summary: H.G. Wells' classic visits the silver screen yet again.
Trailer: Theatrical trailer and three teasers, all on one page.

Thoughts: As this is one of the "summer blockbuster" movies, part of me felt rebellious enough to instead discuss "Rebound", and part of me felt sensible enough to review the movie everyone else was reviewing. You can clearly see which part won out this time. Coming from Spielberg, I expect some spectacular special effects and touching plot points interspersed with various destruction and such. Spielberg knows how to please the masses, and he will doubtless keep to his usual formula. If the trailer is any indicator, it looks like I'm right.

H.G. Wells' book and radio presentation are once again reincarnated on the silver screen. No doubt, modern special effects will give the story a treatment that no previous version has accomplished. Still, such a classic story being retold by such a mass market director as Spielberg has sort of turned me off to this movie. That is, until it hits Video On Demand.

Batman Begins

Title: Batman Begins
Opens in wide release: June 15.
Actors of consequence: Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Scientologist Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Tom Wilkinson, Morgan Freeman, Chris Nolan (Director)
Plot/Summary: Batman jumps on the "prequel" bandwagon.
Trailer: One, Two, Three

Thoughts: I'm looking for Michael Caine to blow me away as The. Best. Alfred. Ever. . . . and perhaps a straight one at that, but don't count on it. Since they use a different actor every time, I don't really see the significance of a prequel, except they get to cast a "younger" actor. As far as that's concerned, Bale is 31 years old. Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney were also in their 30s when they first played Batman, albeit in their mid- to late-30s. Chris Nolan of Memento fame directs, which should hopefully bring some interesting choices from the director's chair. This is the aspect of the movie I'm truly looking foward to. I think perhaps that the Batman producers wanted to show us the humanness of Batman and get that story in there. Did I just say that? What I meant was that I think they wanted to capitalize on the humanness of Batman because it worked so well with Spider-Man. All in all, I expect them to make a huge deal out of Bruce putting his belt on for the first time, and perhaps the mask as well . . . and they should.